


Smile for the Camera

by nicb0723



Category: J2 - Fandom, Jared/Jensen - Fandom, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-11
Updated: 2011-07-11
Packaged: 2017-10-21 06:22:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 71,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicb0723/pseuds/nicb0723
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU story about Jared and Jensen who are two straight men posing for a gay magazine. Can they stand the heat? Or will things become not so straight anymore…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile for the Camera

**Smile for the Camera**

 **Jared's POV**   


“No way. No. No. No. I am so not doing that.”

  
“It pays about a four hundred dollars a week. For one or two days, Jared! You’d be a fool for passing that up right now.”

  
Damn. That’s a lot of money. But no, there’s no way.

  
“I can’t, Mike! What the hell would my parents think if they ever found out!? Huh? Seriously think about that for one minute. They’d freak the hell out and… just no!”

  
Mike sighs, the frustration oozing out in the short breath. “Jared. It’s not like a career I’m offering here. It’s just a photo shoot, maybe a few issues. It’ll help get you out of debt. Hell Jared, you’ve been begging me for a job and here I am practically giving you one. For fucking four hundred dollars! I wish I could pose my pretty face for an hour and get that kinda money.” He shrieks, flailing his arms around. “If you do not take this job you’re an idiot.”

  
“I’m not taking the job.”

  
“You’re an idiot.”

  
“Well then I’m an idiot! I don’t care!” My tone is equally as shrill now and if the fight hadn’t been going on for at least thirty minutes, I’d be tempted to just walk right out of my own apartment. But fortunately for Mike, arguing is one of my least favorite things to do and it drains the crap out of me.

  
“Oh my god… “ Mike has had it. “Jared what the hell is wrong with you! You’re not fucking passing this up, I won’t let you. You’re doing it.”

  
We stay silent, just staring at each other, knowing one of us would give if the other could hold out just for a few more seconds.

  
When my eyes fall, I know that I had lost. “Fine. I’ll do it. But if it’s weird or if my mom even mentions or hints that she might know, then I’m out.”

  
“Fine.”

  
“Fine.”

  
**

  
How the hell three weeks passed so quickly, I don’t even want to figure out. I’d been dreading this day for so long now that I managed to push it in the back of my mind and if it hadn’t been for Mike calling my cell phone I might not have even got out of bed.

  
But here I am, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at the distorted figure that looked like a monster made of my reflection. By the time the mirror cleared of the fog from the heat of my shower, I was still standing and staring... something I’m getting really good at lately.

  
I glance down at my chest. It’s a good thing I kept in shape, I suppose. It’s a good thing I bought those dumbbells too, before all of my money went down the drain. Whatever. I’ve been through this guilt before, I’m not about to go through it all over again. Not today at least. Maybe I’ll drown my sorrows in a beer tonight… if I can find some spare change under the couch cushions or something.

  
So maybe I’m over exaggerating. But it’s not like I’m used to this. Living like this, that is. Being a male model had its perks and now those were gone along with most of my money, a little dignity… some pride…

  
There’s a gut-wrenching pit in the bottom of my stomach before I physically have to push myself out of my apartment. The studio isn’t that far away and I could use the walk. I just hoped the photographer wouldn’t be pissed if I showed up a little sweaty.

  
God. It was worse than I thought. The building is even more run down than my apartments. The paint is peeling, there’s shit thrown in the grass that was once maybe bright green and alive. Now it’s dead and brown. Great.

  
The cell phone vibrating in my pocket makes me jump slightly and I roll my eyes as I flip it open.

  
“I’m here. You don’t have to worry.”

  
“Well that’s good.” Mike says. “You don’t need me to hold your hand anymore.”

  
I grumble a “shut up” as I jog up the stairs. “So where the hell do I go again?”

  
“You didn’t take the paper I wrote it all down on?” Mike asks, not waiting for an answer. “It’s down the first hall on the right, up the stairs and its door twenty. Just go in, Tom is waiting for you.”

  
“I hope it’s nicer in there than it is out here.” I tell him as I swing open the door and peer down the dark hallway. Okay so right now a part of me wishes that Mike were here…

  
“I got it. I’ll call you after and let you know how it goes.”

  
“Okay.” Mike agrees. “And Jared?”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“Be nice.”

  
I sigh and take a deep breath. I really don’t have a mean bone in my body, but I didn’t know this world could be so shitty either. I knew I’d be nice, I just have to calm down a bit.

  
Opening the door to the apartment was like opening an entrance to a new world. The room is large, bright with a ton of lamps and a huge wall for where many different backdrops could be placed. There's a small kitchen and a black leather sofa along the opposite wall. I was expecting the leather, but other than that… this wasn’t too bad at all.

  
“Hi.”

  
I smile and nod towards the guy who is obviously the photographer. He has a camera hanging from his neck along with another one in his hands.

  
“I’m Tom. And you must be…”

  
“Jared.”

  
“Ah great.” Tom grins and reaches to shake my hand. “Mike’s told me a lot about you.”

  
I smile tensely. I’ve been such an ass lately that I’m not too sure how I should take that.

  
“You can put your stuff over there.” Tom says and points to the couch. “Jensen should be here soon.”

  
“Jensen?”

  
“The other male model you’ll be working with today.”

  
“Right.” I nod and turn to put my backpack on the couch. What the hell kind of name is Jensen? Oh god, please don’t let him turn out to be some kind of twink.

  
Just then the door opens and my shoulders tense. My eyes close and I swallow. This was actually happening. How the hell do I get myself into these things?

  
“Hi Tom!” A female voice bounds through the room and practically jumps into Tom’s arms.

  
“Hey Missy. How’s it goin?”

  
“Good!” She smiles and turns to me. “And who’s this?”

  
“Jared this is Missy, she’ll be doing your make-up and Missy this is Jared, one of the models.”

  
I smile tightly and nod. Missy does the same, except she eyes me up and down. “I’m gonna go set up.” She tells us and flashes me another smile as she pulls her long brown hair back from her face.

  
Tom barely even hears her as he struggles with his camera.

  
I feel like I’m gonna vomit. I just don’t know what to expect with all this and before I can stop myself, I’m asking Tom question after question.

  
“So um…” I start off slow. “Mike says that there’s no nudity.”

  
Tom glances up at me. “Is that okay? Or did you want there to be?”

  
“Uh no… that’s cool.” I breathe out some relief. “So uh… are we gonna have to… kiss or anything?”

  
Tom shrugs, looking back at his camera. “I don’t think so… depends on what the magazine wants for the week. There will be some touching though, I hope that’s gonna be okay.” He says, not looking up.

  
My stomach falls. I decide not to ask any more details. “Yeah I guess so.”

  
Smirking, Tom looks up again. “So I’m thinking you’re not gay. And if you’re not gay why the hell did you agree to pose for a gay magazine?”

  
Rubbing my hands nervously together, I shrug a little. “The money is good.”

  
“Hmm. Yeah well… that depends.” Tom pulls out a chair and sits down, picking up some film. “I guess the magazine is in a little trouble. Seems like sales have dropped ever since free porn came out on the internet.”

  
“Must not be doin too bad if I’m getting paid four hundred bucks for this.” I point out, pulling a chair from the table for myself.

  
“True.” Tom nods. “I think you’d be getting more though.”

  
Suddenly the door swings open and my breath hitches. Well this must be Jensen.

  
“Missy! Jensen’s here! Let’s get this show on the road!” Tom calls out, then tells Jensen hello.

  
“Hey.” Jensen replies and looks over to me. “Hi I’m Jensen.”

  
“Jared.”

  
“Nice to meet you.” Jensen smiles as he walks into the room, throwing his bag down next to mine.

  
I stay silent. Well at least he isn’t a twink. That’s good. I wonder why the nervousness tightened in my stomach when Jensen walked in. Probably cuz we’ll be in each other’s arms soon. Bein all gay. As long as I’m getting paid for this, I really don’t mind. It’s only a couple hours out of my life and then it’ll be over. And besides… Jensen wasn’t that bad looking at all. He seems like a pretty cool dude too.

  
**

  
By the time our make-up is done and we are both in costumes, I’m a little less anxious. Business. That was the theme for today. So we’re dressed in tight, blue pinstriped suits with our hair all nice and neat looking and now Missy is applying one more sweep of tan foundation to Jensen’s forehead before we’re ready.

  
We haven’t spoken much. It seems like Jensen knows Tom and Missy so I just listen to them talk about random shit that I’m trying not to even care about. I can’t help but raise an eyebrow when Missy says she’s in college to be a veterinarian and mentions that she can baby-sit for Tom on Friday night if he needs her to. It’s just casual conversation, but they seem like nice people.

  
“Okay guys, there’re briefcases over there if you could grab those and then let’s start shootin.” Tom says as he walks over to the large blank wall that now has a few props in front of it. A water cooler, a chair, and a table with some books in attempt to make it look like an office. I wonder if maybe the magazine really is in trouble, otherwise they could afford a proper studio. But this will do and I’m not about to complain. Jensen grabs one of the briefcases and hands it to me, then grabs the other one for himself.

  
We pose for awhile in silence, Tom instructing us on where to turn and to look serious. I clamp my jaw and try to narrow my eyes. I probably look like an idiot but Tom seems to really like it. Missy watches for awhile before she announces she has to get to class, checks our make-up one last time and is out the door in a flash. Tom stops to adjust the lighting and I start to relax a little. So this wasn’t bad at all. The only part of Jensen I have had to touch is his back while we lean on each other. Not bad at all.

  
“Okay, take those shirts off. Leave the ties though.” Tom says and the familiar pains start to tingle in my stomach again.

  
My vision goes a little blurry as I slip the jacket off and rest it on the chair. Palms become sweaty as I start to unbutton my shirt and my eyes are glued to Jensen’s chest as the white crisp fabric becomes loose.

  
He’s in good shape, I think to myself and throw my shirt to Jensen who tosses it to the side.

  
“Jensen, grab Jared’s tie and pull him in. Jared, lean your head to the side like you’re going to kiss.”

  
Oh God.

  
Before I can even understand what the hell is really happening, I feel the pull on the back of my neck and soon I’m only inches from Jensen’s face.

  
Tom sighs as he shakes his head disapprovingly and walks up to us. “No… Jared you have to lean down. You’re so damn tall…” He mutters under his breath. “And Jensen, twist the tie a couple of times around you hand.”

  
We do what we’re told and I’m having a hard time looking at Jensen in the eyes.

  
“Passion guys! I need some sorta passion here! Jared! Move in even closer!”

  
I take a step towards Jensen as I swallow thickly. I tilt my head and let my eyes close. God damn… I wasn’t expecting the heat radiating from Jensen’s body. It makes my breath quicken.

  
“Good! Better! Hold it!” Tom shouts and snaps the camera over and over again.

  
We stand as still as we possibly can. Then Tom calls out for Jensen to put his arms around my waist and lean his forehead on my chin.

  
“Great job guys! Keep it together!” Tom calls out, then moves in so he can practically dance around us while taking pictures, zooming in, doing whatever he does. Right now I’m just trying not to let the heat bother me… down there. Because honestly, how embarrassing would that be?

  
“Pull him closer, Jensen. Slide your hands up.”

  
I close my eyes again. It’s been awhile since I’ve had someone’s hands on me. It’s been a long while. And Jensen's hands are nice n'big. Not like strong hands are attractive or anything. Nope.

  
“Crap.” Tom mutters. “Guys hold it there, okay? I gotta reload.”

  
Jensen takes a step back, but doesn’t let go of me. “Hey by the way…” Jensen whispers, the first time he’s really even said anything to me except for ‘here ya go.’ “I’m not gay or anything… just doing this for the money, ya know?”

  
I smile down at him. “Yeah I know. Sorry… if I’m bein weird. This is my first time doin anything like this.”

  
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

  
I stifle a laugh. “I don’t know about that.”

  
“Well I’ll try to make it as easy on you as possible for these next few shoots.”

  
Wait. What? “What?”

  
“For the other shoots we have to do…” Jensen looks at me like I should know what he’s talking about. “Didn’t your manager tell you? The magazine is doing a spread of the same models for the next couple of issues. I guess doing a different theme for each one, but with the same models. They think it’ll help the sales. We’re those models… it was all in your contract, remember?”

  
“Oh uh yeah… yeah that’s right.” I nod, but my blank stare might tell otherwise. I had just scribbled my name on the line. I hadn’t read a word of it. Fuck Mike for not telling me either!

  
“So looks like we’ll be best friends, at least for awhile.” Jensen smiles and I can’t help but to notice that he has really… really nice lips.

  
“Okay let’s go!” Tom shouts when he’s done. “Get out of those pants and Jared sit down in the chair… Jensen sit in his lap and look like you guys are gonna do it in about two seconds.”

  
Jensen laughs at that as he begins to unbutton the royal blue suit pants. I try not to watch, but it’s really hard not to. 

  
And maybe. Maybe things aren’t looking so bad right now. As Jensen slides the pants off and is now standing in just tight white boxer briefs, I decide that things aren’t looking bad at all.

 

 **Jared's POV**

 “You guys are so gonna hate me…”

  
“Oh god.” Jensen moans, rolling his eyes as he steps out of his boots. “What the hell is it this week?”

  
Tom snickers at the paper, then looks up and starts to giggle at us.

  
Giggle. This can’t be good, I think.

  
“Get your cowboy boots on, fellers. Ya’ll goin to a rodeo.” Tom drawls out in the worst Texan accent I have ever heard, but it still makes me smile a little.

  
“Don’t tell me.” Jensen curls his lip into a sideways grin. “We’re dressin up as cowboys?”

  
Tom nods and is off to get his cameras ready for the shoot, leaving Jensen and I to get into make-up and costumes.

  
“Could be worse.” I shrug, trying to make the most of it. I don’t think mentioning that I have my own cowboy boots and hat at home was worth it.

  
“Don’t say that.” Jensen tells me. “You never know about next week.”

  
And that was true, I didn’t know what the hell they had in store for us after this shoot, which I have to admit… it’s kinda thrilling. It’s like I get to dress up for a couple hours, be someone completely different with no problems and the only thing I have to worry about was if I should smile or not. And being in Jensen’s arms wasn’t that bad. That could be a lot worse too. By the time we’d finished the ‘businessmen’ theme last week, I got the hang of it. My stomach was in knots right before Tom told us could wrap it up though, just because I wasn’t sure if I’d have to wiggle out of those tight white boxer briefs I’d been wearing. But Tom was true to his word and said no nudity. Besides, it’s not like we’re posing for a porn magazine… just your run of the mill typical fag magazine. Whatever the hell that meant. Maybe I should pick one up, just to see what one is like. Maybe with my next paycheck…

  
“This is so damn chessy.” Jensen’s voice cut through my thoughts and I look at the hat he's holding. They're cheap, nothing like the real one I have in my bedroom closet.

  
“You want the black or the white one?” Jensen mumbles, looking at them both like they were stupid.

  
“Don’t really care… which ever.” I tell him and begin to take off my shoes as well. My phone rings in my pocket and I pull it out, pushing the button to silent the ring. It’s Mike. Poor guy. I really let him have it after last week’s shoot when I found out that this wasn’t a one-time thing. Eventually I forgave him though, once Mike reminded me of all the money and even suggested that we might even get picked up for a regular bases if the magazine sales went up… which means my pay would go up too. And how the hell could I argue with that?

  
“Who’s that? Girlfriend?” Jensen asks, eyeing my ringing phone that I don’t bother to answer and stick it in the front pocket of my bag.

  
I laugh lightly. “Pssh. No man… just my manager.”

  
“Ah.” Jensen nods, understanding and narrows his eyes at me but probably doesn’t want to pry on the girlfriend question.

  
“Hey guys, what’s happenin--” Missy clamps a hand over her mouth to hold in the laughter. “Cowboys?” She squeaks.

  
When both Jensen and I glare at her, she decides she better just zip it and get the make-up ready.

  
“Here.” Jensen sighs. “I’ll take the black.” He hands the white hat to me and I take it gently, like it’s so cheap that it’ll break in my big hands. “I’m uh… I’ll go change in there.”

  
I nod and Jensen leaves the room with his flannel shirt and tight jeans. It’s stupid really. We’ll end up in just our jockey shorts so it really doesn’t matter…

  
Not much make-up is needed, just some tanning gunk Missy found to make us look darker. She wrapped blue and red-checkered bandanas around our necks, smudged on some black goop along our cheekbone to make it seem like we were hard at work, and patted some dust in our shirts to make them look worn. I take my time walking towards the set, which Tom had done a pretty damn good job setting up considering he didn’t have much to work with. There was the chair that was in the last shoot…  which I have to admit, with Jensen sitting in my lap for awhile… well, that had been kinda fun. Felt good too… to have someone’s weight on me. Even if it was all fake.

  
“Holy crap, my balls are gonna burst right through these jeans!” Jensen calls out to Tom, fidgeting with the zipper.

  
“I think they’re a size too small.” I agree. I can hardly walk without feeling like my dick is suffocating in there. This was one time I actually wanted to get out of my pants sooner rather than later.

  
“Quit your bitchin and get over here.” Tom sighs. “Time is money.”

  
“Someone’s in a cheery mood…” Jensen mumbles as we walk across the room.

  
We stand in front of the set, shifting from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable as hell.

  
“Well at least try to look happy.” Tom hints, moving a lamp a little closer.

  
Jensen turns to me and opens his arms. I take a small step forward, eyeing the prominent bulge in Jensen’s jeans which I’m not too sure is because of the tightness or because of something else…

  
“Lookin good, cowboy.” Jensen smiles, trying to ease me into relaxing. After a few of the initial shots were taken of us fully clothed, Tom told us both to take off our shirts but leave them hanging from our pants. With the bandana’s still wrapped around our necks, it would make a great picture is what he told us.

  
I hesitate before I slowly slide my hand up Jensen’s bicep. His skin is really fucking smooth and the touch makes my heart flutter. Only for just a second though… maybe more than a second.

  
Jensen pulls me down a little and leans in, closing his eyes and if I didn’t know any better I would have sworn Jensen just smelled me. God, I  hope that I don’t stink.

  
We begin to touch and explore each other in incredibly soft and timid strokes, almost forgetting Tom was there entirely, who was probably loving every minute of us. Jensen’s hand travels up my neck and through my hair, pulling me down even closer as he leans in to part his lips.

  
“Missy! Get over here with the water!”

  
I blink and pull away. Damn… just in time too. Just when it was starting to feel a little too real for me. Back to reality. Leave the fantasy behind.

  
“Shit that’s cold!” Jensen whines as Missy squeezes the water bottle over his chest, apparently to make it look like sweat.

  
“Well then your dick thanks me then, huh?” She smirks when she watches the swell in Jensen’s pants shrink just the smallest bit.

  
Jensen tries to cover himself, but still smiles. “Shut up… you don’t know me.”

  
Missy laughs and throws back her head a little. “I do too.” She tells him, squirting him one last time and then turns to me and starts to spray my chest generously.

  
“Okay, okay that’s enough.” Tom says when he thinks too much time has passed already. Missy runs out of the shot and sits at the table, watching from the short distance.

  
The touching starts up again and this time I grab a hold of Jensen’s hips, sliding my hands around his waist and pressing my fingertips into the warm skin.

  
“Jared… tilt your head back…” Tom says, but it isn’t harsh and it comes out quiet… like he’s trying to keep us in the mood if only for a few more seconds.

  
I do what I’m told and lean my head way back, exposing my neck for Jensen who sticks out his tongue and starts at my collarbone, going nice and slow with making his trail upwards so the camera can get every shot.

  
Struggling to keep down a moan, I swallow thickly and close my eyes. Jensen’s mouth practically lapping at the water on my neck… felt fucking… well, it felt fucking great.

  
Time ticked by slowly too, which only made things better on my end. But when my neck started to get sore, I was grateful when Tom started to move the chair on the set around for us to pose. The skin under my chin felt raw from Jensen’s tongue and I don’t know what was better… that sensation or eyeing the now huge bulge in Jensen’s tight jeans.

  
“Jared, put one knee on the chair. Jensen stand in front of him… you guys look great.” Tom said, snapping a few more pictures. I sigh, a little dizzily from all the pure licking and turn to face Jensen, who is now standing with his nipples level right at my mouth.

  
Oh…

  
“Okay, Jared… go to work man.” Tom says shortly.

  
I lick my lips nervously. Am I really supposed to do this? I’m used to tits… not man nipples. Not like Jensen’s are bad. They aren’t bad at all. Actually… they’re kinda perfect.

  
“Don’t have all day Jared! Let’s giddy up cowboy!” Tom laughs at his own joke and puts the camera to his eye, ready for action.

  
I swallow again and grab Jensen’s waist to steady myself. I move forward, nose first and just breathe to calm myself down. Why the hell am I having such an issue with this? If it means nothing, then it shouldn’t fucking matter. I close my eyes once more. Things always seem a little less intimidating when the lights are off under my closed lids…

  
Slowly, my tongue is free from my mouth and I eye that perfect round nipple once more before it disappears under my hot breath. I lick, and lick again, and again, and again until my tongue points and I tease the nub with the tip, causing Jensen’s knees to buckle just a little. I smile at this, glad that I have some affect on him and turn to tackle the other nipple that is now turned hard from excitement.

  
It’s good. This is good. Jensen’s nipples are fucking so good. I almost don’t hear Tom tell us that he needs to reload and for us to take a break. I almost don’t want to admit that I’m having a little too much fun with certain nipples that I found out if I drag my teeth across, makes Jensen’s knees do that thing.

  
But when I feel the gentle pulls on the back of my hair, I let up and lick my lips. So I liked it. Who wouldn’t like Jensen’s nipples, he’s got nice ones. I glance down, just make sure Jensen was still enjoying himself and could see that he was through those jeans.

  
I look up and smile with Jensen’s fingers still playing in the back of my hair. “That your toy gun in there or you just happy to see me, cowboy?” I tease, and the words surprise me. I haven’t been in such a good mood in a long time… must be the good pay checks.

  
“Shut up.” Jensen grins down at me, his eyes crinkling in the corner. “You don’t know me…”

  
And I can’t help but to think that I’d like to… yeah, I’d like to get to know Jensen a lot more.

 

 **Jensen's POV**

  
There’s something different about Jared today… I can’t put my finger on it but he just doesn’t seem happy. He doesn’t seem like he even wants to be in the same room with me, really. What the hell did I do? Last time he practically made love to my nipples and now he can’t even look at me.

  
It had been a full week before Tom called and set up another photo shoot. I was nervous as hell. I thought for sure they had found someone better than me to stand in with Jared… maybe someone taller, someone prettier… well whatever. Now I’m just glad as fuck to be here cuz that means more money in my wallet. Not that I’m a money whore… it’s just nice to have nice things. And I love to eat out. And buying toys. I love to buy toys. I just got a new kick ass stereo system.

  
“Earth to Jensen…”

  
“What?” I ask, looking around the room. Jared is busy moping in the corner, Missy is taking make-up out of her case, and Tom is glaring at me. My guess is that Tom is who wants my attention.

  
He rolls his eyes and throws me some clothes. “Go change and hurry your ass up.”

  
I look at the white uniform in my hands. Baseball. We’re supposed to be baseball players today. Jared is already in his gear and he looks fucking good. Again, the pants are one size too small and his ass fits perfectly in them. The cap is covering his mop of brown curls, but I know that will soon come off when we start to shoot.

  
God, he doesn’t have to look so pissy. Maybe it’s not even me, maybe I’m being selfish. Something coulda happen in his personal life that’s making him act like this. Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.

  
By the time I’m dressed and ready to go, Jared is tossing a baseball up and down in the air, catching it every time like it's no big thing. I’m straight but hot damn, maybe I could go gay for Jared. But only if I was good n’drunk. Wasted maybe. Not like there’s anything wrong with gay people, I just don’t find men all that attractive. But I’d be lying to myself if I thought Jared was any type of ugly.

  
“Shit…” The baseball hits the floor and rolls towards me. I stop it with my foot and bend to pick it up, slightly surprised that the white fabric doesn’t tear from the movement. Tossing it back to Jared, I glance at his face and he still can’t even look at me. If he can’t look at me how the hell are we gonna do this photo shoot?

  
“Okay Jensen, get your ass over there and get a bat… pretend like you guys are havin a shit load of fun.” Tom tells me, not looking up from the camera he’s fiddling with.

  
I adjust my package in my pants before I walk over to Jared, eyeing him suspiciously. “Dude… you alright man? You seem kinda down today.”

  
“I’m fine.” Was his short answer and I sigh at that. I have a feeling this will be a long afternoon.

  
“Bye guys! Have fun, you two look cute as hell!” Missy calls as she gathers her book bag and heads out the door.

  
I wave at her, but I don’t think she sees me. I wish for a second that she could stay and lighten up the mood, but I know she has class to get to. Damn, why couldn’t I have gone to college? How the hell do I get my dumbass into shitty situations like this? I watch as Jared bends down to tie his shoe. Hmm. I guess some would call it good luck.

  
**

  
”NO! Jared! Passion! I need some sort of passion! What the hell is with you today? And Jensen, you look like you're fucking constipated! What the fuck is with you guys? It’s been an hour and all I have is maybe ten good shots. Do you know what that means? Probably one good photo out of that. Do you know what else that means? YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME HERE!”

  
Damn. When Tom gets mad, it’s kinda funny, but when he has been yelling his head off at me for the last twenty minutes it sorta makes me want to either punch my fist through his god damn camera, cry, or throw up. And Jared looks like he’s about to do the same.

  
“There is no chemistry!” He flails, bending at the knees just to be dramatic. “Where did it go? You guys were so on last week!”

  
I look towards Jared for an answer. He just shrugs and looks down to the floor. I look back at Tom and shrug my shoulders as well. How the hell am I supposed to be passionate for someone who can’t look at me!

  
“That’s it…” Tom sighs and walks over to a set of drawers. He puts his camera down on top and starts to rustle through the crap in there, mumbling something to himself. I give Jared a sad look and sit down on the couch. We both have our shirts off and are just in the tight white pants. I can see Jared’s black boxer briefs through the thin fabric and he’s definitely not as excited as last session when we both had boners that could kill. I never knew a guy could get me that hot. His tongue was amazing though and the way he sucked at my nipples... damn. Gave me those good kinda chills all over in just the right places.

  
“You two…” Tom mummers as he walk towards us. “Are driving me crazy… Jensen, come here.”

  
I get up and stand next to Jared. The last thing I want to do is piss off Tom even more.

  
Two seconds later I’m handcuffed to one Jared… whatever his last name is.

  
“What the fuck is this?” I shriek, holding my arm up with Jared’s as well, hanging from the silver clasp over his wrist.

  
“I’m going out to get coffee and get some more film. By the time I come back, you guys better be ready to go and whether it’s fake or real, I don’t give a shit.” Tom tells us, getting his wallet and keys from the glass bowl on the kitchen counter.

  
“You can’t be serious.” I tell him, my eyes wide with shock. “You can’t fuckin do this!”

  
He shrugs. “I can and I did. Look, Jensen you know I love ya like a brother but I gotta get paid too! And if you guys can’t deliver then I’m fucked. Oh and you guys need to hold hands.”

  
“What!?”

  
“Hold. Hands.” He answers in an annoyed tone, watching our hands.

  
“What the hell will that do?” I ask, so not buying into this shit at all. This was kinky weird stuff you see on TV after hours.

  
Tom closes his eyes and tells us to just do it.

  
I catch Jared’s hand in mine, but his fingers are loose.

  
“I’m sorry guys but like I said,” Tom continues. “You two are my paycheck.”

  
“Yeah but for Christ sakes! Handcuffing us together?”

  
“I’m not a fucking therapist, I don’t know what the hell else to do. And besides…” Tom smiles, opening the door. “I saw this in a porno once and thirty seconds later the two chicks were all over each other.”

  
I sigh and glare at him. “This isn’t some shitty porno from your massive collection, Tom. This is real life.”

  
Grabbing his jacket, Tom looks at me kinda sadly. “Look around you Jensen… you think this any of this is real?” And with that, he closes the door behind him.

  
My mouth hangs open as he leaves and finally I get my words back. “Well this is just fucking great!”

  
Jared rolls his eyes and plops down on the couch, letting my hand go. “Dude, don’t freak. He’ll be gone what? An hour at the most?”

  
I laugh shrilly. “Yeah right. He said he’s going to get film. That means he’s gonna go to the camera store. You know how long he was gone last time he went? About three hours.”

  
“Oh.”

  
“Yeah.” I shoot back. “Oh.” Hesitating, before I ask, I sit down next to Jared and give him a sideways glance. “What the hell is with you today anyway?”

  
“Nothing. Why?”

  
“Why? Because you can’t even look at me. What? Did you turn shy or something?” I ask, trying to get my voice from coming out annoyed but I can’t help it. I am.

  
“Um… “ He shifts uncomfortably. “I don’t know… maybe?”

  
“Well is there something going on outside of here?”

  
“Nothing besides my crappy life, nope.” He answers.

  
I stare at him, my jaw clenched. “Are you sick?”

  
“No.”

  
“Did someone just die?”

  
“No.”

  
“Well did your cat just get run over by a car or are you just being a difficult asshole because you feel like it?” I spit out, not caring anymore.

  
A hurt look creeps over his face and my stomach ties in knots. “Sorry…” He says softly, throwing his arm over his waist, almost like he’s embarrassed that he’s shirtless in front of me.

  
“Look…” I start off slowly. “I don’t mean to be a shit head here but we’re a packaged deal, ya know? Without you I wouldn’t be doing this photo thing so I kinda need this to work out.”

  
He stays silent for a couple seconds, searching his knee like the answer to all of his problems lay in the fabric. “Yeah… I get it. I’m sorry.” He says and I can tell it’s the truth. “I just didn’t think that this…” He glances at me and takes in a deep breath. “I didn’t think it’d be so… intense.”

  
That confuses me and I narrow my eyes. “Well what’d you think it’d be like?”

  
He shrugs and pulls his knees up so he can rest his chin on them. “I don’t know… stupid?”

  
I smile and shake my head. “Well I’m glad you don’t think I’m stupid.”

  
The tiny curve of his lips show me that he’s finally loosening up a little. “You’re far from stupid.”

  
I grab his hand and pat it friendly-like. No point in scaring him off. “So you’re good? You okay with this gay thing and touching n’stuff?”

  
He grins this time, finally looking at me. “Not really.”

  
“Me either…” I half lie. “I can’t believe dudes really take it up the pooper.”

  
“I know…” He trails off like he wants to say something more but doesn’t know where to start.

  
“What?” I urge.

  
“It’s just weird… like, last time when I had to… ya know… to your… ya know.” He says, glancing at my nipples. “It was kinda cool that you got turned on… I liked that I could do that… and the same thing would go for a chick.”

  
“Yeah…” I agree. “But it’s not like I got _that_ turned on.” I tease, smiling and dodging the pillow that he throws at me.

  
“Whatever man. I had you in the palm of my hand.”

  
“You were licking my nipples!” I shriek happily. “Of course I was a little interested in what you were doing to them.”

  
He shakes his head is disbelief. “It was more than that and you know it. You  
liked it.”

  
I shrug, not letting him win. “Maybe a little.”

  
“Pssh. A little…” He mumbles. “I bet I could… um, nevermind.”

  
“No, what?” I ask.

  
A slow pink crawls up his neck and into his cheeks. “Bet I could make you cum just from doing stuff to those nipples of yours… but then that’d be really gay.”

  
I swallow thickly. God, I so want to take that bet. “Yeah, that’d be gay.”

  
“Yeah…”

  
“But then again…” I start, then stop myself.

  
“What?” He asks, hopefulness in his voice.

  
“It’s not like any real gay parts would be touching… I mean, chicks have mouths and they have nipples so I guess it’s not really that gay…”

  
“That’s true…” Jared nods. “But it’d still be weird.” He crinkles his nose.

  
I cock my head to the side. “Are you sayin there’s a problem with these?” I ask, pointing to my chest.

  
“Uhhh…” He looks at them quickly, then shakes his head. “Nope… no problem there.”

  
I smile. “Good.”

  
He grins back and then eyes the handcuffs. “You think we can get out of these things?”

  
“I think if Tom came back and found out that we did, he’d be one pissed off dude.”

  
“Yeah, he can be pretty serious sometimes.” Jared nods. “You think we should hold hands then, just so he doesn’t get mad?”

  
I lick my lips. Is it possible to get a hard on from just holding hands? “Yeah… I mean, we better. Just so ya know. He doesn’t fire our asses or anything.”

  
“Can he do that?” Jared asks as we link fingers together. This time he holds his weight and gently caresses my thumb with his.

  
“I have no idea.” I tell him and we share a laugh.

  
Our fingers don’t break for the next hour as we talk and get to know each other, nothing more and nothing less of two straight dudes holding hands.

 **Jared's POV**

I think I like him. And that’s seriously disgusting. Dudes don’t kiss. They just don’t. And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna be one of those fruity fags that prance around with sparkly lip gloss all over.

  
I’ll be damned.

  
It’s just that he’s a pretty cool dude and I’ve been spending a lot of time with him and well, that’s normal. I think. Well whatever. It’ll pass. It’s just a stupid phase and I’ll get over it soon enough. I just have to get me some pussy. And that’d be real easy if the thought didn’t make me wanna vomit. Money sucking whores – that’s what everyone with a pussy is, therefore I will be pussy free until one of ‘em can prove me wrong and let’s just say that I won’t hold my breath.

  
“Hey Jared!” Missy’s voice booms towards me in a cheerful tone and I half wave back. I shouldn’t have stayed up so late nursing those six bottles of beer all by myself. That’s the thing about being pussy free- I get lonely.

  
Jensen smiles at me and nods, getting up off the leather couch to greet me. “Dude, you’re not gonna believe what they have us doin today.”

  
The pure dread in his tone almost makes me break out in a sweat. “I’m batman and you’re gonna be robin!”

  
“WHAT!” My stomach drops instantly and I mean come on, I know fags are into tights n’all but you’ve got to me shitting me. “Are you KIDDING?”

  
My shriek is so loud that I turn the attention from Tom and Missy towards me. My eyes are wide and my mouth is gaping open, but I can still see Jensen’s mouth crack into a smile.

  
“You’re an asshole.” I tell him.

  
“And that was way too easy.” He grins back, eyes totally sparkling with laughter.

  
I sigh, throwing my backpack to the couch. “And besides, there’s no way I’d be boy wonder. That has your ass written all over it.”

  
“Oh I’m hurt.” Jensen plasters a fake frown on his face and giggles. “And I’ll remember that during the shoot.”

  
I sigh and begin to unbutton my shirt. “So many threats.” I tease back and he gives me one last smile before heading to the back room where Missy puts on our make-up.

  
“So seriously,” I ask Tom. “What are we today?”

  
“You sure you wanna know?” He asks, trying to hide his grin. “You won’t be disappointed when it’s not something in tights?”

  
“Shut up.” I grumble and then notice the white coat hanging up. I look closer and there’s a stethoscope attached to the hanger as well. “So… who gets to be the--”

  
“Calling doctor uh… whatever your last name is.” Jensen calls out and my eyebrow goes up. Hmm. This should be interesting. “You better watch out!” He continues. “I really do feel sick! My uh… balls ache!” I can hear him and Missy break out into giggles and I roll my eyes.

  
Things seem so different since the last photo shoot. I was so numb after I realized that my stupid feelings were getting stronger. I’m not gay. I’m just not. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. But seeing Jensen makes something that was dead inside of me hurt again. And it feels a little good in a really weird way and it’s pretty scary because I haven’t felt that it awhile and oh yeah, not to mention that stupid pain is from a dude. All that kinda freaked me out and even though I was such a complete asshole he was still pretty nice to me. Usually I’m the nice one and usually I’m the one getting walked all over. And it felt damn good for someone to be takin care of me this time around. Even if it wasn’t really like that at all. Did I mention these confusing thoughts are a part of that dull ache?

  
Suddenly a huge brush is in my face and I have to turn before I sneeze all over Missy’s face. “Ew.” She crunches her nose and gives me a pitiful once over. “You’re cute but I think some snot landed on my elbow.”

  
“Shit. I’m sorry.” I give her one of my best apology smiles but she just ends up rolling her eyes and stroking my face with the brush.

  
Damn. I’m even losing my women skills! Shit. And those have come in handy more than once.

  
“Jared!” Jensen calls out in a sing-song voice. “I’m ready to turn my head and cough!”

  
Missy smiles at that. “Better be careful. He’s in a real mood today.”

  
“Thanks for the warning.”

  
**

  
Boy was she right. Jensen is in an incredible mood. He’s wearing nothing but thin blue hospital pants and a thin white t-shirt to match. Nothing more than that and my stomach tightens as I have to run my palm up his thigh. He watches me with dark eyes and clenches his jaw. I can’t tell if he’s enjoying this or not, but I have a feeling he might be when we’re more naked.

  
I have no idea how the hell Tom got his hands on a small bed where he put tight white sheets on to look like a hospital room and I’m so not about to ask. This white coat is itching the hell outta my neck but I’m not gonna have to worry about that because Tom is telling Jensen to take it off of me. We have to do it in slow motion so the pictures will turn out okay and after it falls to the ground I let Jensen slowly pick apart the buttons of the light blue shirt I’m wearing.

  
We pose a couple more times now that I’m shirtless. One with me sliding the stethoscope under Jensen’s thin t-shirt, another one with his completely off as well, some more with me bending to listen to his back and all sorts of stupid stuff. Although for the most part Tom has been quiet, which means we’re doing an okay job.

  
Jensen spreads his legs as he sits on the bed and there’s something in his eyes that I can’t really make out. I stand between his open knees and he pushes my head back as he slides his hand down my throat in a seductive way. I close my eyes until I can’t feel the pressure anymore and gasp when I feel his tongue at my right nipple.

  
God.

  
I woulda never guessed he was doing this for money. Never in a million years. But that little fact is locked in the back of my head and because of that there’s nothing going on in my pants. It still doesn’t make this stop feeling so good though. Really, really fucking good.

  
I hear Tom tell Jensen more tongue and less teeth and he does what he’s told. Oh my God. Talent. Jensen has amazing talent.

  
“Okay Jensen, get those pants off of Jared.”

  
I swallow thickly. Usually it was always Jensen who got out of his pants first or we would do it together. Now I just feel really exposed.

  
He grabs at my belt buckle and pulls it out by his teeth because I guess that’s what gay dudes find attractive. I don’t know but Tom really liked it. Jensen gives me a look like he doesn’t understand either and he makes me smile, breaking the tension that was growing in the middle of my shoulders.

  
It’s odd… before and after the shoot we can make jokes and laugh but as soon as the first picture Tom snaps all the way until he calls that we’re done, we’re pretty much silent. Makes it more real I guess.

  
By the time I’m out of my pants and only in those little tight white boxer brief things they make us wear, I’m a little hard. And I hate that I am. Because I really shouldn’t be. It’s not like Jensen wants to do this. It’s not like he's under his own free will here. No, it’s because he gets a paycheck and that’s it. And now I’m getting off on it. Stupid dick… just as bad as a pussy.

  
“Okay, Jensen up on the bed.”

  
The mattress squeaks under his weight and he kneels so that his crotch is at the level of my chest. Well, under those thin blue pants that is and we both look at Tom expectedly.

  
“Jared, slide down Jensen’s pants and--”

  
“Whoa man.” Jensen interrupts. “I thought you said no nudity. I thought you said this wasn’t a porno magazine.”

  
Tom stares in annoyance. “It’s not. And if you would have let me finish… Jesus… here, Jared, look at me and press your cheek to Jensen’s stomach.”

  
I do what I’m told and take a deep breath. My eyes flutter as the contact of my skin meets Jensen’s hard abs.

  
“Okay now wrap your arms around him, like you’re hugging his ass.” Tom continues as he walks towards us.

  
Jensen grips my shoulder as I glance up, shooting him a confused look. What the hell was Tom trying to pull? I take a step closer and drape my arms around his waist. My arms cover his ass as I pull him towards me and this is by far the most intimate hug I’ve even experienced.

  
Tom scurries around us and tells us not to move a muscle or he’ll seriously kill us and begins to tug at Jensen’s pants.

  
“Hey!”

  
“Just shut up and trust me!” Tom barks and suddenly Jensen has no pants on and his soft dick is pressed up against my chest while my arms are covering his perfect peach-like ass.

  
“No nudity but damn that is hot!” Tom is so please he’s almost squealing like a little girl.

  
I glance up at Jensen and give him half a smile for support.

  
“Please don’t let go.” He whispers. “And hold on tight. I don’t want my balls in this magazine.”

  
“Sure…” I smile. “I got ya.” And I do. I hold him tight and in this weird way I feel protective of him. I guess because I know that if it were me in his position I’d probably flip the fuck out.

  
“Jared man, I need a little more than your typical deer caught in the headlights routine.” Tom tells me and I sigh. Without moving my arms or my chest, I rub my nose in Jensen’s flat stomach and breath in. It’s like a second instinct when I start to kiss him, my lips traveling over the smoothness of his skin that is rippled with hard muscle underneath. Tom takes a few more pictures and finally tells us to wrap it up, so excited about the last set of photos he heads straight to the dark room in the back of the studio.

  
“Thanks guys! See you in a couple days!” And with that, Tom disappears behind a closed door.

  
I know this will be my last chance for today so I take in one more breath of Jensen’s skin, and then look up at him, praying that he didn’t notice. I don’t think he does. I think he’s too worried about being naked right now.

  
“Um…” He laughs nervously. “Awkward, huh?”

  
I glance up and smile. “No, not really for me.”

  
“Shut up.” He mumbles, but still doesn’t move.

  
“So uh…” I tighten my arms around him. “Can I let go now?”

  
A blush creeps up over his neck and flushes his cheeks.

  
“I promise I won’t look.” I offer.

  
“Get off.” He grumbles and pushes me. I’m true to my word and look away, even though half of me doesn’t want to.

  
We get dressed in the same room this time, turning our backs to each other like the good little straight men we are.

  
“So I’ll uh… see you again in a few days I guess.” He tells me softly, his eyes darting down to the floor.

  
“Yeah… today was good. I think we almost made Tom cream his pants with that last shot.”

  
“Yeah no shit.” Jensen grins as he opens the door and we walk out together. The staircase is narrow so he heads down first and I follow. I’m surprised we don’t nearly break the damn thing with both of our weight on it.

  
“So um…” Jensen starts again as he swings open the front door of the building. “Have a good rest of the day.”

  
I nod and I’m right on the verge of asking him to go get a beer or something when he flashes me one last smile and turns to walk down the street.

  
I watch as he goes, shifting my backpack over my shoulder. “Yeah… you too.”

 **Jensen's POV**

“Well that was typical.”

  
“Yeah, no shit.”

  
“First we’re doctors, then firemen? Who comes up with this kinda crap anyway?”

  
“Probably some journalist flunkie.”

  
Jared smiles at that. I think I like making Jared smile. It’s not like it’s an ugly smile or anything and it kinda makes me smile too and fuck, I’m stupid for even thinking about this.

  
Today went pretty okay I guess and I have to admit, I’m kinda getting the hang of it. Every shoot is a little bit easier, every minute we touch is a little less tense than the minute before, and Tom seems really pleased with the work we’re doing. He’s been on the phone for the last five minutes though, leaving Jared sitting in my lap in just our underwear. I think we were about done when his stupid phone interrupted me kissing down Jared’s chest, but I try not to appear disappointed because well, I’m not supposed to be.

  
“What the hell could he be talking about?”

  
I shrug, shifting in the chair. Jared is damn heavy. “Maybe it has something to do with his kids…”

  
Jared's eyes relax and a concern floats through his features. “I hope everything's okay…”

  
I’m just about to tell him that I’m sure it is when Tom snaps his phone shut and turns towards us, smiling insanely wide. “Guess what, boys!” Jared and I don’t have time to respond before Tom is telling us anyway. “The magazine’s sales are up thirty percent! Thirty! All because of your pretty faces! That’s fuckin awesome! They’re wiring a bonus of three hundred bucks straight into your accounts today, plus mine.” He grins happily.

  
“Wow, that’s sweet.” Jared looks pleased too and glances down at me. I nod and return the smile.

  
“So I guess gay dudes like us then, huh?” I ask Tom, smirking and giving my best sexy dumb look.

  
“Yeah, who woulda thought?” He laughs.

  
“Hey!” Jared acts offended, but still is grinning.

  
“Uh guys, I hate to break this up but Jared, babe, you’re not getting any lighter and I kinda have to piss.” I tell them, shifting again in the chair uncomfortably. We still have on firemen boots and hats and I can’t wait to get out of these damn things.

  
“Okay, okay. Where were we…” Tom trails off and picks up his camera again.

  
“I believe we were right about…” Jared says softly as shifts in my lap and then leans down to start a slow path of kisses down my neck. “Here…”

  
I choke back a moan because that would just be plain weird and opt for running my hand up his thigh, smoothing over his tan skin and pressing my fingertips into his flesh, harder as he starts to lick and suck.

  
“Jensen…” Tom starts, still clicking his camera away. “Put your hand in Jared’s briefs.”

  
Suddenly there are no more lips on my neck and I think I grunt in frustration. God, I hope I didn’t.

  
“What’s that?” Jared asks, looking completely mortified by Tom’s words.

  
“It’s just for a half a second, just chill. I didn’t say he had to touch you or anything.”

  
“Yeah… just chill, Jay. I won’t break it off or anything.” I smirk.

  
He tilts his head and glares down at me. “Just remember to keep your hands to yourself.”

  
I nod and tell him I have it under control. I am a professional for fuck sake.

  
Licking my lips, I stare at Jared’s white briefs that make him look incredibly tan. I wish I had a stomach like his, all defined and perfectly  chiseled. It’s not like I’m lacking in that department, but damn he has got a great body. My fingers tease the elastic band around his waist and I know I should just go for it. Once I’m in there, I’m done and I’d be lying if I said I really didn’t want in. Jared takes a deep breath as I slide my hand under the white cotton and all I feel is a patch of soft wiry hair and warmth. I make sure to stay away from anything else, even though half of me is tempted to seek out anything more I might find.

  
“Great, let’s keep goin.” Tom says and I take that as a lead to start sucking on Jared’s nipple that is closet to me. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, really seeming to enjoy himself.

  
A few more seconds tick by and I’m finding myself threading my fingers through his pubes, starting to go just a little lower as I flick my tongue over his nipple. He arches in my lap and right when I’m seriously just about to forget where we are, Tom calls out that it’s a wrap.

  
Damn.

  
We still don’t look at each other while we dress, but we leave together like we did last time. I push the front door open and pull on my sunglasses because the sun is bright today, beaming yellow rays right towards us.

  
“So uh…” Jared starts off shyly and looks down to the street where orange leaves are floating by, dancing around our feet. “That’s a pretty sweet deal about the sales going up, huh?”

  
“Definitely.” I nod, zipping up my jacket. It’s warm, but the breeze is chilly and it smells like fall is right around the corner. I have a feeling that’s not all Jared wants to say so I take my time, waiting patiently for him to finish.

  
He swallows quickly and his eyes dart down. “We should ya know… like, celebrate or something.”

  
A smile forms on my lips and I’m glad he can’t see my eyes. “Yeah.” I nod and try not to laugh when he sighs relief. “There’s a bar right around the corner. Wanna meet tonight? Say around nine? I got some shit to do till then.”

  
“Sounds good. See ya then.” He says casually, backing up and starting to walk away.

  
“Hey Jared.” I hesitate, thinking about what I really want to say.

  
“Yeah?” He turns, smiling expectedly.

  
“You're uh…” I glance down his long legs. “Your shoe’s untied.”

  
**

  
Is it bad that I chose this bar because it’s quiet? Is it bad that I had that in mind when I was thinking about a place where Jared and I could celebrate our newfound fortune? I hope not. I hope some of this shit that has been going through my mind doesn’t make me queer. I hope this sinking feeling in my stomach doesn’t mean that I’m probably just in denial right now.

  
“Hey Jensen! Over here!”

  
I turn in the direction of Jared’s voice and smile at the sight of him in the back booth nursing a beer. It’s way darker back there and I wonder if he chose that table on purpose. 

  
Motioning for a beer as well, I slide in across from him and smile. “Hey, so what d'ya think?”

  
“About this bar?” He asks and looks around, giving it a nod of approval. “I like it.”

  
“Good cuz it’s the only decent place around here.” I smile, thanking the waitress as she sets a beer down in front of me.

  
“Yeah? It’s not a gay bar is it?” Jared asks, amusement in his voice.

  
“I don’t think it is but if it were then we probably shouldn’t talk shit.” I tell him. “After all, they’d be our customers.”

  
“I guess that’s true.” Jared muses, sipping on his beer. “Maybe our pictures are hanging up in the bathroom.”

  
“Like they are at your place?” I tease.

  
He shakes his head and laughs. “Oh yeah. I get off to our pics every night, Jensen.”

  
“Hey man.” I raise one eyebrow and lean in. “I wouldn’t blame ya if you did.”

  
Jared looks to the ceiling again and if it wasn’t so damn dark in here I woulda thought he blushed. “Have you seen any of the magazines? Like, for real?”

  
“Hell no I’m not gonna go buy that shit.” I tell him. “Besides, I think the only one out is our first one… probably the cowboy get up comes out sometimes this week.”

  
He pauses, probably thinking about us in those business suits because that’s what I’m thinking about right now, and I have to admit that I wonder how they came out.

  
“Don’t you wonder how the pictures came out?” He asks, basically reading my mind.

  
I shrug. “Yeah, I guess. But they musta came out pretty damn good if we already got a bonus.”

  
“That’s true.” He says softly, tilting the beer bottle up and gulping down the last sip.  “What’d ya say if we got a pitcher?”

  
Smiling, I pick up my beer and toast to that. “Sounds like a beautiful idea.”

  
**

  
Two hours and three pitchers later I find myself feeling damn good. I also know Jared Padalecki a little bit better. Hell, his last name was a good start. The alcohol makes him talk slow, with almost a lazy accent and even when he was pouring his heart out about his last break-up, I could tell he is still a little sore but trying to get over it.

  
“Enough about my shitty relationship.” He slurs a little. “What about you, Ackles? You got any heart ache?”

  
I shake my head. “Nope, well I mean… everyone’s gone through that sooner or later. Mine was just awhile ago so all forgiven and forgotten.”

  
Jared sighs and picks up his glass. “Damn man, wish I could be there right now.”

  
“Time heals, my friend. You just gotta wait it out.”

  
“Yeah well it sucks when you’re bitter on top of all that.”

  
I laugh, agreeing with him. “Yeah, you might wanna focus on not being a hater.”

  
“Easier said then done.” He mumbles. “I don’t know… maybe I just need to get laid or something.”

  
Smiling, I agree with that too. “A blow job probably wouldn’t hurt right about now.”

  
He stares at me, almost trying to read into what I’m saying. “So Jensen… let me ask you then. You think you’ll find her out there?”

  
I slowly begin to nod, careful with my word choice. “I think… I think I’ll find someone, yeah.”

  
He seems to get what I’m saying even though I don’t know what the hell I’m saying and maybe I have a stronger buzz than I thought.

  
“Okay, I’ve had enough of this bullshit for one evening.” Jared stretches his arms and yawns. “I’m callin it a night.”

  
“Yeah...” I yawn a little too. “It’s getting late.”

  
We split the bill and make our way through the crowd. It has gotten busier since we’ve been sitting in the back and I remember that it’s Friday night. Of course it’s gonna get busy.  Pulling on our jackets, we step outside and start to walk down the street. I live only a couple blocks away and am just about to tell Jared that to make small conversation when he grabs my arm and gasps.

  
“What? What is it?” I ask, worried that we’re both pretty much drunk and now we’re gonna have to do something that involves thinking.

  
“Look! We’re on the fucking cover!”

  
I stop and stare through the convenience store window where Jared is pointing. There we are, in business suits, trying to look all bad ass.

  
“Oh. My. God.” I whisper, still staring.

  
“WHAT IF MY MOM SEES THAT!?”

  
It’s so mean but I can’t help it. I start to laugh. “Well maybe she’ll put it on the fridge.” I tease him. “She’ll be proud, I’m sure…” I trail off, thinking that if that’s just the cover I have to know what’s inside. “Dude, Jared… I dare you to go buy two copies. Then we’ll go back to my place where there’s more beer, check out the pictures, and get through this together.”

  
“God…” Jared moans. “I guess we probably should. It’s a good thing I’m drunk and don’t care about buying two fruity magazines.” He sighs and steps into the store while I wait outside.

  
It’s time like these when I wish I smoked.

  
“Well that was embarrassing.” He tells me a few minutes later when he pushes the door open. “You’re so buying the next one.”

  
I smile and pat him on the back. “Let’s just get some more beer in you, buddy.”

  
**

  
Jared’s a pretty funny drunk. I love how he just made himself completely at home in my apartment by kicking off his shoes, throwing his jacket on the table, and helping himself to anything the refrigerator.

  
By the time I came out of the bathroom from taking a piss, he’s sitting on the couch, staring at the cover with a beer in hand and looking miserable.

  
“It’s not that bad.” I tell him, kicking off my own shoes and jacket, and then sitting down on the couch next to him.

  
“Oh I’m pretty sure that it is.”

  
“Dude…” I smile, feeling the alcohol flow through my veins. “I don’t know really how to tell you this but… I don’t even know how you’re a model. You’re just okay looking.” I’m teasing, of course, because Jared’s one of the most good looking guys I’ve ever seen. But he doesn’t have to know that.

  
“What?! What the hell are you talking about?” He asks defensively and I pick up my issue of the magazine, flipping it open.

  
I point to the picture of us leaning on each other. “What’s with the sideburns man?”

  
“My sideburns are fine, asshole. And at least I have good hair.” He mumbles.

  
“Hey I have good hair when there’s product in it!”

  
He shakes his head and laughs. “Seriously? Product?”

  
“Hey at least I look like a man… not twelve.” I mutter under my breath.

  
“I do not look like I’m twelve.”

  
“Yeah, okay kid. Whatever you say.” I grin like a smart ass.

  
“Well…” He looks me up and down, trying to find something wrong. “At least I don’t have the dumb jock look goin on.”

  
“Hey.” I tell him seriously. “I may be dumb sometimes but I am no jock.”

  
We stare at each other, jaws clenched and eyes narrow. Then Jared breaks up laughing and falls back on the couch. “You just called yourself dumb!”

  
I giggle when I’m drunk and I hate that I do, but I can feel them erupting in my chest. I join Jared and laugh stupidly. This is the most fun I’ve had in awhile.

  
“And besides…” He continues when he’s calmed down a little. “You failed to notice my nose. I hate my nose. And my eyes are too close together.”

  
Giving him the ‘you’re-an-idiot’ look I tell him that his nose is fine. “And you didn’t mention my freckles.” I tell him.

  
“Freckles? You don’t have any freckles.” He says, scooting closer to inspect my face.

  
“I always tell Missy to cover them up.”

  
“Well you’re a moron.” He says softly, cupping my chin and turning my face this way and that. “Because your freckles are pretty cute.”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“Yeah. If cute’s a gay enough word.” He snickers and I can smell the beer on his breath. He’s drunk and I shouldn’t be leaning into his touch, but I am. It just feels really, really good and I can’t stop myself.

  
Jared stares blankly before he drops his hand and moves away. Our lips didn’t even come close to touching, damnit.

  
“You mind if I crash here tonight? Pretty sure I’m gonna pass out in about a minute.” He yawns and his eyes are slowly opening and closing.

  
I shake my head and get up to search for an extra blanket I have around here somewhere. It’s in my bedroom closet and by the time I walk back into the living room, Jared is curled up and snoring softly. Quickly, I cover him up and head to the bathroom to take a fast shower, picking up the magazine of us on the way. Is it bad that I have to worst intentions to get off by looking at Jared’s half naked body? Because I’m getting hard just thinking about it and I think… I think this relationship isn’t going so straight anymore.

 **Jared's POV**

Dude, what the hell? Where the hell am I? And why is my head pounding in thee most miserable way? It’s so dark and my eyes are having trouble adjusting to the shadows of furniture I know that are in the room, but I just can’t fucking see. Shit. I knock over what I think is a beer bottle, but it doesn’t break and instead rolls under the couch somewhere. This sofa is pretty comfortable and I actually can fit on it somewhat, although my feet hang off the edge like usual.

  
I need to find the pisser like now. Stretching, I get up and yawn, looking around my surroundings and decide to follow the little light down the hallway. Please let there be a toilet at the end of that light and if there is, I’ll go happy.

  
As quiet as I can, I tip toe pass Jensen’s room. I glance in and see him sprawled out on a big bed and for a second I wish I could join him. It would definitely beat the couch, that’s for sure. I guess I could just piss and go home. No. That’d be rude. And I kinda wanna see what Jensen is like in the morning. I bet he’s cute with bed hair. Not like I could really give a rats ass about what he looks like, or what he sleeps in, or how fucking sexy he would be all sleepy eyed. Nope, don’t care at all.

  
I click on the bathroom light and sweet victory, there’s a toilet with my name written all over it. Sighing as I relieve myself, I look around and it’s pretty much a duplicate of my own bathroom except maybe a little cleaner. I yawn again, trying to concentrate on not getting any piss on the floor.

  
What the hell… Something catches my eye and it looks like Jensen did a little reading before bed because our magazine is tucked by the sink, right by the box of tissue and a bottle of lotion, curled up like he stashed it there right after doing something that I’m afraid was a little solo action. When I finish washing my hands, I grab it and head back out to the living room while I flip to the middle. I have to admit; we are some pretty good-looking guys, especially together. I can see why we raised the magazine’s sales so fast. Jensen alone would be a good thirty percent, I think.

  
Plopping down on the cushion, I lift my ass up to get out of these tight jeans that are so not the best thing to sleep in and cover myself up with the soft green blanket that Jensen musta brought out for me. My eyes are still glued to our pictures as I start to get a little hard and I fix on the one where Jensen’s lips are damn close to mine, making it seem like we’re about to kiss. Damn, those lips of his are fucking plump as hell and kissable isn’t enough to even begin to describe them.

  
My fingers are suddenly searching in my boxers for some kind of release. I’m hard as a fucking rock and it doesn’t take more than a couple strokes up and down my shaft while my thumb plays with the head, smearing precum all over before I’m gone. In other words, passed right the fuck out with my hand down my shorts, a puddle of sticky white to the side of my bellybutton, and the gay magazine open on my chest.

  
**

  
“Dude… you’ve got to be kidding me.”

  
Jensen’s voice wakes me up instantly and oh god, please let me be dreaming. Please let this be a horrible, horrible dream where I’m on some hot guy’s couch with my hand down my shorts, white crusted cum all over my stomach and pictures of almost naked dudes on my chest... one of them myself and the hot guy looking at me with a smirk.

  
Talk about a nightmare.

  
“I… oh god, shit man, I just and I oh fuck, fuck, fuck and this isn't, I mean I didn’t--”

  
Jensen laughs and shakes his head. “Dude, chill out man. I’m not the jerk off police. Although if you were looking at yourself…” He points to the magazine and lifts one eyebrow. “I think that’d be kinda weird.”

  
“Never mind what I was looking at.” I mumble, getting up to walk in the kitchen for some water to wash my stomach. “And it’s not like I found that in the bathroom or anything." I call out, hoping to wipe that stupid smirk off his face. If I'm going down, I'm bringing him with me. "So I hope you weren’t looking at yourself either while you were jerkin off in there.”

  
“What?” Jensen’s confused at first and then I hear him whisper, “Shit.” He walks down the hallway, pokes his head in the bathroom, sees that the magazine isn’t there anymore and then I hear another, “Shit.”

  
Well at least now I don’t feel like such a loser with my hand caught in my pants.

  
“Look…” I sigh, feeling kinda silly about this whole situation and walk back into the living room. “It was late, we were pretty buzzed, and we both haven’t gotten laid in awhile.”

  
“Yeah I guess.” Jensen mumbles, still a little flushed in his cheeks. “We should just forget about that whole uh. Thing. Whatever.”

  
“Sounds like a plan.” I agree and step around the couch to fold the blanket and get my jeans. “Our little secret.”

  
Jensen grunts and brushes past me to get to the kitchen. “Yeah, gay secret but it seems like we have a couple of those. Hey dude, you want some coffee?”

  
Denial. It’s a beautiful thing.

  
I nod and step into my jeans, pulling them up and buttoning the fly. “Tom is a pretty good photographer." I tell Jensen, changing the subject and picking up the magazine again. "I’m surprised he’s doin work like this.”

  
“He does other side shoots too.” Jensen answers. “But he likes it so he can be with his kids at night, being a single dad n’shit.”

  
“Must be rough.”

  
Jensen doesn’t look up from the coffee that’s brewing and then begins to get different items out of the pantry, which from the looks of it, are ingredients to make pancakes. “Yeah, cute kids too. Young. Missy watches them at night sometimes when Tom has jobs. I probably should offer to help out but I don’t know crap about kids.”

  
“Yeah, can’t really see you with a couple of rug rats hangin off your arm.” I tell him, sliding out a chair and sitting down at the kitchen table. Jensen’s wearing checkered pajama bottoms with a thin white tank top. I should be used to seeing him in practically nothing, but he still looks damn good. And I was right; he does have bed hair in the morning.

  
“Yeah.” Jensen nods, turning on the stovetop. “Kinda not my thing if you can believe it.”

  
“So you don’t want kids? Like, ever?” I ask.

  
He shrugs, pouring himself a cup of coffee and giving me a pointed look. “Don’t know what I want. It’s been uh… changing lately.”

  
I know what he means, but my voice is caught in my throat with that. I can only nod in response. We stare at each other for another silent moment, not knowing what to do with this entirely different situation that is so new and that neither of us dares to bring up. It’s the pink elephant in the kitchen and the flirting isn’t helping matters at all. Hell, I’m just glad we aren’t still talking about how we both jerked off to pictures of one another while we’re supposedly straight.

  
“I think I should get goin… don’t wanna put you out more than I already have.”

  
Jensen rolls his eyes and points back to the chair. “Jared, please. It’s not like I have anything else better to do. Now sit.”

  
“We’re not at the studio.” I tease. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

  
Jensen grabs a bottle of syrup from his fridge and walks it over to the table, putting it down and getting right into my personal space, his lips only inches from mine. “No… but I could ask real nice, if you wanted me to.” His voice is husky and deep with a hint of sexiness.

  
I match it, leaning in even further, dropping my eyes to his lips. “I’m only staying cuz pancakes are my favorite.”

  
“Ah. Right.” He smiles and blinks, breaking this imaginary connection we have with standing up straight again. “Well then you’re in luck cuz I make one mean flap jack.”

  
I raise my cup of coffee to toast to that, crossing my legs and relaxing back into the chair. It’s amazing how I feel so comfortable here and how much I’m enjoying Jensen’s company. Hell, I haven’t had a sleep over that was this much fun in who knows how long. Laughing lightly, I glace at Jensen and wonder if this could be our next photo shoot.

  
“What’s so funny?”

  
“Nothing.” I answer, still smiling. “I was just thinking that this is something they’d think of for the shoot. It’s a little more real than doctors and firemen, don’t you think? I mean, you do look pretty good cookin me breakfast n’all.”

  
“Yeah and you get to sit on your pretty ass and live it up.” He mocks.

  
Smiling, I shrug. “Well I’d be naked of course.”

  
“A minor bonus.” He grins, pouring batter in a perfect circle.

  
“And you could wear one of those aprons that says ‘kiss the cook’ on it… maybe with an arrow pointing down…”

  
“Now we’re talking.” He says, raising his eyebrows.

  
I take a deep breath, wondering how far I should push this flirtation and decide to just go for it. “Although with you havin lips like those, I’d be the one wantin to sport that apron.”

  
He’s really surprised at my words, but still doesn’t look up from what he’s doing. “I’m sure something could be arranged.”

  
“Yeah, you wish.”

  
“Oh whatever!” He shrieks, flipping the pancake. “You just basically said you wanted me to give you a blow job.”

  
“Hey man, first of all I said you have good lips for giving head. Not that I’d like you to be attached to get the job done. And second, I’d probably take anything that doesn’t involve my hand and a dirty magazine, male or female.”

  
“Well, thanks. I feel so appreciated.” He mutters, bringing over a nice plate full of delicious smelling food.

  
“Sorry man, but it’s true.” I lie through my teeth.

  
He shakes his head and stares at my fingers. “Dude, if I had hands like these…” Picking up my left hand, he studies it in his own. “I’d probably never leave the apartment… if you know what I mean. Bet these fingers could reach places we’ve never dreamed of…”

  
“I wouldn’t know.” I tell him softly.

  
“Neither would I. But I’ve heard… well, ya know.”

  
“Yeah.”

  
He smiles, pulling out the chair across from me and sitting down. “You should try it out, then tell me how it is.”

  
“Yeah. I’ll get right on that.” I say dryly.

  
“Hey man…” He laughs in a teasing way. “You do owe me for the pancakes.”

  
**

  
“It was good.”

  
“What? Wait… you mean what I think you do?”

  
I feel guilty and I’m sure I look that way. Hell, I can’t even look Jensen in the eyes. “Yeah.”

  
“AND?”

  
Tom interrupts us from the other side of the room. “Hey dip shits, hurry the hell up and get into those uniforms!”

  
We start to undress by taking off our shoes first and then pants. Jensen’s eyes are fixed on me, just waiting to spill the details. I shrug and smile. “And it was really… really… interesting and good.”

  
“What was good?” Missy asks, starting to thread her fingers through Jensen’s hair and blowing a bubble of pink gum between her lips, not knowing at all the conversation she just walked into.

  
“Uh…” Jensen looks at me for help.

  
“Um…” I glance around the place, praying for something to pop into my head. “Bananas?”

  
“Banana pie!” Jensen yells out, like he’s proud of himself for thinking so quickly. “I told Jared to get some of that banana pie from that restaurant down the street.” He smiles sweetly at Missy.

  
Missy narrows her eyes and looks at me. “Uh huh…”

  
“Yeah, it was um… good.” I glance at Jensen and grin slyly. “Really, really good.”

  
She rolls her eyes at that and shakes her head. “You guys are weird. Pretty, but weird.”

  
Jensen throws me the uniform we’re wearing today and I scrunch my nose. “Mechanics?”

  
“Better than doctor and patient.” He says, taking off his shirt and tossing it to the side.

  
I stare at his chest and go silent. Really, I shouldn’t be looking at all. There’s something about how muscular he is, how perfect his nipples are, how his skin is so smooth in all the right places. The sight stings my lungs a little, making it hard to breathe.

  
“Okay guys, don’t hate me…” Tom sighs and grabs a leather bag from off of his office chair and pushes it over his shoulder. “But there’s a change of scenery today…”

  
Jensen and I look at each other, then Tom, and then the part of the room where there is usually props for the set. Today there is nothing. Just a blank wall.

  
“Oh no…” Jensen’s eyes go wide and he takes a step forward, brushing my elbow. “Dude. Please.”

  
“I’m sorry.” Tom apologizes and he truly does look sad for us. “But we gotta do this one outside.”

  
My stomach sinks and my eyes fall. No. Shit. It was one thing doing this in front of Tom and occasionally Missy in the privacy of the studio, but outside? Where anyone could see us? Shit. I reach for Jensen’s hand and our fingers slip together in a comfortable trust. He doesn’t want to do this anymore than I do, but I know he’ll be the strong one since he has more experience.

  
He turns and whispers in my ear, his voice steady. “It’ll be okay. We’ll just be quick and won’t mess up, got it?”

  
I swallow thickly and nod. This was so not in my contract.

  
**

  
A half an hour later, with our hair greased up and dirt smudged on our necks and chest, we’re making our way down the stairs. I feel a little better already, just because Jensen keeps reassuring me that everything will be fine.

  
“There’s your new girlfriend.” Jensen teases, pointing to an older lady who is giving us the once over.

  
“Jealous?” I smile, giving him a push on the back and he almost trips over the last step.

  
“Watch it.” He whines, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m fragile.”

  
“Oh please.” Tom rolls his eyes and pushes the front door open. He leads us around the building and into the ally way where lights are already set up. It looks pretty private and now I’m really starting to feel a little better about this. I mean, it’s not like I have much of a choice. Rent is due in about a week.

  
There’s a shitty looking car where I’m guessing Jensen and I are supposed to pose and I wonder if I might get some kind of a disease if I even touch the thing.

  
“Wow, way to shell out the bucks.” Jensen sighs and walks over to the heap of metal, patting the frame sadly and bending down to inspect the rusted paint.

  
“Gotta stay in the budget.” Tom mutters, fiddling with his camera and motioning for us to get started.

   
The first couple of shots are easy, like they always are. Jensen stands close to me, wraps his hand around my neck and pulls me in. I close my eyes and pucker my lips slightly. He kisses my jaw lightly, gently pressing his lips on my skin while he feels me up. Damn.

  
Sometimes I’d give anything for this to be real.

  
Then the tops of the uniform come down and hang around our waist. We grope and paw at each other’s chests, leaning in to lick or kiss while we fake a blissful look of ecstasy across our faces, arching back and hissing dramatically for the camera.

  
And then everything comes off and we’re back in those tight white briefs. And every time we’re just about to get into it, Tom runs out of fucking film. Except this time, he’s left it upstairs and is telling us we’ll have to wait.

  
“Fucking moron.” Jensen glares at Tom’s back as he starts to run around the building. “You’d think he’d remember to bring more film.”

  
“Yeah.” I agree and shift. We’re in the most awkward of positions, of course, with me lying on top of the roof of the car and Jensen on top of me. Tom told us to stay perfectly still until he got back.

  
If anyone sees us like this, we’re dead.

  
“So…” Jensen starts and turns back to me, his face incredibly close to mine. “It was good, huh?”

  
I nod, knowing exactly what he means.

  
“Did it hurt?”

  
“No… well, it’s not like I just shoved my fingers up there. Took my time…” I tell him.

  
He nods with understanding. “Maybe I’ll try it tonight…”

  
“Yeah?”

  
“Yeah.” He smiles, dipping his head close to my neck. “Wanna come over after we’re done and help me out?”

  
“No.” I roll my eyes, playing like his flirting isn’t getting to me at all.

  
He looks hurt. “Well what if I can’t do it? What if I do something wrong?”

  
I sigh and struggle to not get turned on. “Can we not talk about this right now?”

  
“Not until you promise to help.” He grins, sticking his tongue out between his lips a little.

  
“Asshole.”

  
“Is that a yes?”

  
I sigh with frustration. “You’ll be in the bathroom and I’ll be in the hall. The door will be closed. That’s the only way I’ll guide you through it.”

  
He smiles again, but this time a little more slyly. “Hey man, we’re straight. That’s all I’d expect anyway.”

  
Yeah… I think to myself. Real straight.

 **Jensen's POV**

  
One more beer and then I’ll be good to go. I promise. Why the hell am I so damn nervous? Why the hell am I promising things to myself in my head? I don’t normally do that. Usually I’m the cool dude with the leather jacket n’shit but tonight… tonight is different.

  
“You drunk enough, Jen? Don’t get too bad otherwise you might miss.” Jared smirks, tipping the beer bottle up, his throat gulping down the last sweet drops.

  
“Yeah, what if I do miss? Then what?”

  
“Might puncture your scrotum.” Jared laughs. “I’ll have to take your poor ass to the hospital.”

  
“Oh fuck, dude… bet’s off. I’m so not doing this.”

  
Jared laughs again, this time harder. “I’m just fuckin around! You won’t break or puncture anything. I promise.” The last part kinda comes out softly and I can’t help but to believe him. Hell, I believe his promises more than mine to myself right now. And then he turns into a teasing asshole again. “Maybe you should look at a certain magazine with the hottest male model around. Maybe that’ll help.” He gloats, slapping it in my lap.

  
“Who?” I tease back. “Me?”

  
Jared frowns and grabs my hand to heave me off of the couch. “Well if you like looking in the mirror while jerkin off, go for it man. Maybe you won’t break anything if you’re watching.”

  
“Shut up! You’re making me nervous!” I groan, letting Jared guide me to my own bathroom and sit me down on the toilet.

  
He leans in close, staring into my eyes as seriously as he can with the alcohol flowing through his veins. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ll be right here.”

  
“Do you know how ridiculous this is? Are you sure it’s even fucking worth all this bullshit?”

  
“Oh.” He stands up and gives me a huge grin. “It’s so worth it.”

  
I sigh, and tell him to get out. My stupid dick is already starting to get plenty hard and I need to be alone.

  
“Okay, okay… wait!” Jared stops in his tracks and turns back to me. “You got lube, right?”

  
Confused, I shake my head. “For what?”

  
“Oh for…” Jared mumbles something under his breath and starts looking through my medicine cabinet. I know there’s a tube in there somewhere of something I bought a while ago, but I sit back and let him try to find it. His black shirt is tight around his muscles and smoothes over his flat stomach. It lifts up and I can see some tan skin when he bends to pick up the toothpaste he knocked over.

  
Stupid skin… I see it all day long, for hours sometimes at the studio. I even get to touch him and kiss on him and nothing is fucking worse than right now because I can’t do any of it at all. I’d rather be working so I can touch him all I want, rather than being alone and getting a punch in the face if I try anything. It’s not like I want to touch him right now. Not like I need to or anything. It’d just be kinda nice in this really weird way that I can’t explain.

  
“Here, idiot.” Jared tosses me the tube and rolls his eyes. “Don’t skimp either.”

  
“You’re an idiot.” I attempt to shoot back but Jared is softly shutting the door behind him.

  
I stare at the lube. I stare at the door. I stare back at the lube and sigh. How the hell do I get myself into these things? Why, why do I have to flirt to see if Jared will really do what I ask because obviously he will… if I ask real nice that is.

  
“Yo Jen? What the hell you doin in there?”

  
“Why don’t you open the door and find out for yourself.” Fuck. See. These are the kinda things I shouldn’t be saying, let alone thinking.

  
“Yeah, you wish asshole. Maybe I’ll take advantage of you when I’m a little more drunk.”

  
And why couldn’t that be now?

  
“You naked yet, Jen? Come on man, we don’t got all night.”

  
“No one said I had to be naked!” I call out, amused because I know this will get to Jared.

  
I was right.

  
“DUDE! COME ON!”

  
Laughing to myself, I stand up and unzip my jeans and let them fall to the floor. My shirt flies off and I think it lands somewhere in the tub, but I don’t even care. I grab the lube and slide down the door, knowing that Jared is right on the other side.

  
“Okay. Naked!” I tell him, dropping my head and opening the lube. “Now what?”

  
I hear him mutter something but I can’t quite make it out. “Put some lube on your fingers and spread your legs out.”

  
“Is it bad that I’m thinking straight friends don’t tell each other these sorta things?” I ask, wondering what the hell he could possibly say back to that. But whatever it is, please make me feel less gay.

  
“Who said we’re friends?” He yells through the door and I swear I hear his zipper go down. And that gets me even harder. “You got the lube on your fingers?”

  
If it weren’t for the beer in my system, this would be way embarrassing. “Yeah.”

  
“What?”

  
“YEAH!”

  
“Good.” I can practically see Jared smiling through the door. “Now just kinda start to ya know, touch yourself… there.”

  
I sigh and close my eyes, leaning my head against the door. Maybe if I just get it over with he’ll leave and then I can take a nice hot shower and jerk my dick until it falls off.

  
My knees fall apart and I feel a breeze where I’ve never felt one before. It’s a little exciting. Maybe a little naughty. And with Jared only a second away from me, it’s damn sexy. Keeping my eyes closed, I touch my balls with my fingers. The lube is cold but it ain’t bad. I just know that I’m incredibly turned on and when I finally have enough nerve to peek at my dick, I realize that I’m leaking like a fucking faucet already. I didn’t want to be this turned on. I really didn’t. And now that I am… well, fuck. It’s too late to look back now.

  
“Just go slow…” Jared tells me, his voice deep and husky. “Don’t push in yet, just get yourself nice n’ready and you’ll just naturally… want in.”

  
“You sure about that?” I ask, my legs settling to the side and I get as comfortable as I can while sitting on the hard bathroom floor.

  
“Yeah, if you’re relaxed. You relaxed, Jen?”

  
I smile to myself. “If you keep callin me Jen, then yeah, I’m getting there.”

  
There’s a pause and a shuffle behind the door. I wonder what he’s doing.

  
Jared clears his throat. “So uh… what d'you usually think about when you’re... doin stuff…”

  
Yeah, right. There’s no way in hell I can possibly tell him what… or who has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks. No way. “Uh… usually just something I’ve seen from a porno.” I lie.

  
“Let me guess… you have a kink for blondes in leather with handcuffs and whips.”

  
“You know me so well.” I roll my eyes, still letting my fingers graze a part of me that I’ve never really touched before. God. I had no idea it’d be this sensitive. Fuck. I didn’t know it’d feel this good. Shit. Jared’s right… I do want in.

  
“So? How is it so far?”

  
“Umm…” My eyes roll up and I gasp softly. “Interesting.”

  
“What?”

  
Clearing my throat, I try again. “Interesting!” I say louder.

  
“In a good way?”

  
“Oh yeah.”

  
“Thought so.” And I can practically hear the smirk in his voice. “You still playin or you getting serious yet?”

  
“Still playin.” I manage to choke out as my fingers start to gently push in. “You sure I’m not gonna break anything?”

  
“I’m sure! It’ll feel good.” He calls back.

  
I take a deep breath and allow just the tip of my finger to disappear inside of me. Doesn’t hurt at all. I start to relax and as my muscles loosen, my finger slides in a little more. It actually does feel good.

  
“You know gay guys actually put their tongues on other dudes assholes?” Jared starts rambling. “I saw it on this porno I... accidentally rented. Can you imagine? A tongue on your ass… in your ass… all around your ass? Wouldn’t that be fuckin crazy? I wonder if all gay guys do that? I wonder what it’d taste like… I wonder what it’d feel like…”

  
Oh god. I don’t know if it’s my finger in my ass or Jared rambling on about tongues and assholes, but I’m cumming before I can even stop it. And it’s not just a regular orgasm either. This one could beat any out. I saw stars with this one. And we’re talking, bright silver shooting stars that beam across my closed lids with rainbow shadows that start to fade with the aftermath of my orgasm.

  
“Whoa… sounds like you had a good time over there!” Jared snickers and I’m just struggling to keep my breath. I look down at the sticky white mess all over my hand and smile.

  
Yes, that was one hellava good time.

  
“Hope that felt as good as it sounded!”

  
I quickly wash my hands, find my briefs, and yank open the door. Jared falls ass backwards into the bathroom and I laugh when I see that his fly is zipped open and his hand down his pants.

  
“Mmm hmm.” I sigh matter-of-factly and step over him. “Looks like you had a good time too.”

  
He’s startled when he falls but quickly regains himself and sits back up. “Well maybe I woulda if someone could last more than five minutes.” He teases.

  
“Well maybe someone shouldn’t have talked about tongues on assholes when I’m tryin to finger myself for the first god damn time!”

  
Jared ignores me and starts to crawl to the kitchen on his hands and knees, his belt buckle clanging with every move he makes. “I need more beer.”

  
I shake my head and smile at the pitiful sight of his large body slowly trying to make its way to the kitchen. “No more beer, Jared. Come on man, we got an early shoot tomorrow anyway.”

  
“No! No work!” He moans and drops in the hallway. “I’m not gay.” He whispers, turning to lie on his back. Now his jeans are half way down his legs and he’s still got half a rock.

  
“No. You’re not gay, I’m not gay, and we’re sure as hell not gay together even though it fucking feels gay as hell. But what the hell do I know? I’m just horny. And you’re the closest friend I’ve had in awhile. Maybe I am gay. There’s nothing wrong with that.” I’m talking to myself at this point because Jared’s eyes are half closed and he looks as if he’s about to pass out on my carpet. “Hey Jay? You want me to call you a cab?”

  
“No cab.” He murmurs.

  
“Couch it is then, buddy.”

  
“No couch. Not long enough.” He murmurs again, this time rubbing his nose and sighing softly.

  
He’s not cute. Jared is not cute. Nope.

  
“Well you’re not gonna get gay on me if you sleep in the bed, are ya?”

  
“Not straight. Gay!” Jared groans. “Wait… I mean… straight not gay. Yeah. Yep. That’s it.”

  
Yawning, I step over his body and try to heave him up. He’s a pile of perfect muscle and I try not to smell his scent as I get close to him, but that’s a little difficult. He smells a little of sweat and old spice, sugar and precum all mixed into one.

  
I finally get him into the bed and walk around to get to my side. I’d feel a little uncomfortable if Jared hasn’t seen my in my briefs before, but hell… sometimes that’s all he sees me in. I push his jeans all the way off for him and they fall to the floor by the bed. It’s not like I don’t see him practically naked either, so what does it matter? Laying back, I yawn again and pull the covers over us. His warmth engulfs the sheets and I snuggle down, more comfortable than I’ve been in a really long time.

  
And I don't think that there's anything wrong with that.

 ** Jared's POV **

  
“Well you guys look like shit. What’d you do? Stay up all night n’drink? Thanks for makin my job a hellava lot easier.”

  
Whoa. It’s way to early for a girl to be pissy with me, especially when she’s damn right about it all. Jensen and I stayed up way too late, drank too much, and now we look like complete shit with our hair everywhere and dark circles under our still half shut eyes.

  
It was gonna be a long day.

  
Jensen glances at me and raises his eyebrow, then turns back to Missy. “You okay there, Miss?” He asks her. “You seem to be havin a rough morning, maybe even worse than me and Jared.”

  
”It’s nothing.” She replies shortly and Jensen looks at me again for an answer. I shrug, not knowing what the hell is wrong with her and sit down on the couch, yawning as I stretch.

  
“Tom? You got any coffee?” Jensen asks and wanders into the very small kitchen. A few seconds later he emerges with two cups and hands me one.

  
“Oh thank god.” I whisper, hurriedly taking it and start to sip the hot liquid that will hopefully wake me up.

  
This morning had been… well, interesting. Waking up in Jensen’s bed was a little more than I had anticipated that would happen, especially when nothing really happened at all. I don’t even think I got off, but I do remember how fucking sexy his moans were that came from the bathroom. We got up late and barely had time wash our faces before we were out the door. I slept damn good though and I don’t think it was because of the alcohol. I think it was because of the company.

  
“Dude…” Jensen trails off as he looks at the small area we usually do the shoots. “What the hell is that?”

  
Tom smiles and pats him on the back. “I call that a heart shaped sofa… bed thing. You like it? The magazine had it specially delivered yesterday for you boys. Seems like the cowboy get up made the sales go up another five percent.”

  
“So they send over a red fucking heart bed thing?” Jensen scrunches his nose. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  
“Well get used to it.” Tom says. “Because you guys will be on it all day. They want to double the layout.”

  
“Really?” I squeak, then clear my throat when both Jensen and Tom tilt their heads at me. “I mean, really? That’s good, right?”

  
“Hell yes that’s good. Very good. You guys will probably see another raise in a week or two.”

  
Jensen smiles widely and looks at me. I return the grin and take another sip of coffee. This was turning out to be a better day than I thought it would.

  
“Jared! Get in here!” Missy calls out. “I need to make you look at least presentable.”

  
Groaning, I get up and walk into the other room. My head is still pounding but it’s slowly going away. I sit down in the make-up chair and close my eyes, thinking about last night. I wish I could remember a little bit more. I wish that I could’ve seen Jensen’s body. I wish… shit, I’m wishing for things that I really shouldn’t be even thinking about. But thinking about them isn’t the hard part anymore. Actually keeping myself from touching him and looking at him… that’s the shitty part. And now I have to do it all day and pretend that he doesn’t get me excited.

  
“Jared.” Missy huffs. “Keep still. You’re squirming.”

  
“Sorry.”

  
Her lips are in a tight line and I look up as she starts to smear this lotion into my skin that’s supposed to make me glow. Usually she’s in such a good mood. “You sure you’re okay?” I ask.

  
“I’m fine… I just…”

  
Just then Tom pokes his head in and tells us that he and Jensen are going to go and grab some bagels or something since it might be a long morning. “You want your regular blueberry, Miss?”

  
She turns and gives him a tight smile. “Yeah, thanks.”

  
“Jared?” Tom looks at me and I tell him I’ll take whatever Jensen gets. We have the same taste. He nods and I watch through the open door as he grabs his jacket and Jensen takes a quick look at me before they walk out, almost silently telling me that he’ll be right back. I’ve grown to know his looks and I think he’s grown to know mine as well. It’s crazy how close we became in such a short amount of time. I guess you could say that we really clicked.

  
Missy sighs heavily and I give her my best sympathetic look. “What’s up?”

  
She puts down the bottle of lotion and picks up the tweezers. I hate this part. “Tom had a date last night.” She says simply.

  
So? Who the hell cares about—oh. Ohhhhh. “Oh. I didn’t know that you… I mean I didn’t think…”

  
“He doesn’t know.” She tells me sadly, her eyes squinting as she plucks a small hair from my eyebrow. “And I really don’t want him to.”

  
“Why not? You should just tell him and maybe… maybe he feels the same about you.”

  
“Trust me.” She sighs again and picks up a brush. “I spend a lot of time at his house. His little girls loves me. I flirt all the time and still… nothing. And that's fine but... it still just hurts when he has a date, ya know?”

  
I shake my head. “Nope, can’t sympathize with you there.”

  
She pulls back and questions me with her eyes.

  
“I mean, I could if you were to tell him. But hell, he doesn’t even know he’s hurting you. You’re not even giving him a chance.”

  
“Hmm.” She murmurs, going back to brushing on some sort of tan powder. “Well how would you feel if Jensen had a date? I mean, don’t you think that’d hurt a little?”

  
Wait. What? No. Well… maybe a little. “Dude, Jensen and I aren’t… we’re not gay.”

  
“Well I know Jensen’s not… but I thought that you… oh. Sorry.” She smiles weakly.

  
“Why’d you think I was?”

  
She shrugs and picks up the comb. “Don’t know really. Just the way you look at him when you’re posing. Looks like you almost adore him or something. But then again, he’s a great catch so who wouldn’t be head over heels for the guy?”

  
I nod, thinking that she’s right. He is a great catch and just the mention of him having a date made my stomach sink. Fuck. I’m so screwed.

  
**

  
“So um… dude, where the hell are the clothes that we're supposed to be wearin?”

  
“Uh…” Tom looks down to the floor and that’s so never a good sign. I swallow the last of the muffin I’m eating and sip some more coffee, waiting for Tom to answer Jensen’s question. “You guys get a black sheet… and that’s about it.”

  
“Wait? What? We’re gonna be naked?”

  
“No, not really… um… you get to cover up with that but I just need your sides to be uh… naked so yeah, you’ll be naked but I won’t take pictures of your dicks or anything.”

  
Jensen sighs and gives me the look like he doesn’t really want to do it, but it’s not like we have a choice here. I shrug and walk over to him, then lean in right up to his ear. “I say after we get this done, we head to the bar.”

  
“Agreed.” Jensen says as I pull back and now he’s smiling, his eyes relaxed and it feels good that I’m the one making him feel better this time around.

  
“And maybe this time I’ll get drunk enough to take advantage of you.” I smirk, biting my bottom lip between my teeth, knowing full well that I’ve just gone into flirting mode and it’s so fucking hard to get out of it once we’ve started.

  
His eyes fall and he searches the ground. “This time? You mean… you don’t remember takin advantage of me last night? In bed?”

  
“Wait? What!”

  
The corner of his mouth twitches and that asshole, I totally fell for it. “Asshole.”

  
“Best night of my life and you don’t even remember.” He teases, raising his hand to stroke my face.

  
“Don’t touch me.” I tease back and shove him, rolling my eyes.

  
Tom clears his throat and tells us to get ready, throwing us each a black pair of tight briefs. “These will do for now.”

  
Jensen and I glance at each other quickly and start to unbuckle our belts. We slide down our pants and underwear, shifting our gazes to the side and smiling awkwardly. Damn, these briefs are tight, even for me. Jensen looks like he’s about to explode out of them. I stretch as I take of my shirt and throw it to the side, then run over to the bed and jump on, patting the side for Jensen to come and join me.

  
Smiling, he walks over while he scratches his stomach and yawns. Such a beautiful sight.

  
Tom throws us a black sheet and starts to focus his camera. “Cover up good!” He smiles and winks. We give him a glare and prop ourselves up on the bed, trying to get in the mood to be sexy.

  
“God… I don’t feel like doin this.” Jensen sighs, flipping over on his stomach and stretching out.

  
“You should do to yourself what you did last night.” I whisper, leaning in towards his ear. “I’m sure Tom would love that for the camera.”

  
“Yeah, you’d probably get off too.” He whispers back and I smile, shrugging and knowing that he’s probably right.

  
Jensen throws his arm around my shoulders and Tom says, “Look at me.” We both look up and he captures a real picture of me and Jensen smiling, not a work smile, but a sincere grin from each of us that I almost don’t want in some cheesy magazine. Jensen’s eyes glitter as he smacks my cheek with a big kiss.

  
“Ew, dude. Come on.” I glare and shove him away, but inside everything is telling me to pull him back, cover his body with mine, and make out until we both can’t breathe.

  
“Just a little Jensen love juice.” He teases. “And if you’re good, there’s more where that came from.”

  
“Shut up.” I tell him, wiping my cheek and god, I wish he’d fucking stop flirting with me. We haven’t even started and already I can’t wait to get home and into a cold shower.

  
“Come on, boys.” Tom clears his throat. “Let’s get to it. You want some music or anything?”

  
Jensen and I look at each other and I scrunch my nose. “Nope.” Jensen answers for both of us. “But just shut up and you’ll get your shots.”

  
And then everything goes into this wonderful world of a blurry red, black, and Jensen’s skin and oh damn, is it warm here. He rolls me onto my back and straddles me, his fingers pushing into my mouth and I grab them with my teeth, arching up just for the camera and knowing by now that this looks hot. Jensen leans to work on my nipples and I close my eyes from the wet warm sensation that makes my breath hitch. The slow trail continues as he traces down my stomach, stopping at my belly button and smothering more kisses there until my skin is damp with his saliva. All I can do is lay there, barely able to fill my lungs with air as his tongue is lapping down my hip, biting softly as he keeps going down… down…

  
Jesus.

  
His fingers trace along the elastic of my boxer briefs, teasing to go under and I spread my legs apart so he can get more comfortable. God, I’m so fucking hard. So fucking hard and I can’t care right now, because if I did I think it would physically hurt inside and out. His tongue sticks out and hovers over my covered cock and he pauses, knowing Tom will take the picture. After, he presses his cheek on me and closes his eyes. I know he can feel how hard I am but I don’t think he cares. I don’t think he cares at all.

  
He starts to tug on my briefs and the nerves start to fly in my stomach. “Jensen…”

  
“It’s okay…” He says softly. “It’s okay.” And he covers me with the black sheet before my underwear is all the way off and thrown to the floor.

  
Shit… please god. Please don’t let that be precum...

  
Jensen moves the sheet so my dick is covered but my side is completely bare that is facing Tom and the camera. There’s more kisses and small bites up my torso until he reaches my neck and is laying on top of me again. My arms finally start to move and I drop my hands to his back, caressing up his spine with the tips of my fingers. He lets out a light whimper and kisses up my chin, to my temples, across my forehead and he stops right at the corner of my mouth. I don’t want him to stop. I want to kiss him so damn bad and if there weren’t a camera in the room I think I would.  Instead, he brushes the bridge of his nose with mine and we both smile lazily as we grind into each other.

  
“I could get used to this…” I whisper, tilting up my head just a little, just to see what he’ll do with that gorgeous mouth.

  
He whimpers lightly again. “Your turn.” He whispers, then rolls off of me to lie down on the bed.

  
I’m careful to not let the sheet fall off of me as I move on top of him and he relaxes into the bed, shifting to get comfortable and grinning wide. I match exactly what he had done to me, taking my time to slowly let my tongue taste every perfect inch of his body and when I reach his briefs I’m glad to see he’s just as excited as me. I take a deep breath and run my fingers across the bulge and I can hear him gasp above me. Covering him with the other part of the sheet, I remove his underwear and toss it. Now we’re both naked but the thin sheet is the only barrier we have between each other. It’s starting to get so fucking hot in here and beads of sweat start to form at my hairline. I can tell Jensen is warm too because of the flush in his neck and I move to lay on top of him, covering my ass with the sheet and I start to work Jensen’s nipple with my fingers as I kiss over his collarbone.

  
He arches up on the bed slightly, enough to make my heart lurch in my chest as our dicks brush each other. Again, our lips come so close to meeting and all I want to do is hold him down and enter that warm mouth with my tongue. He lifts up a little and I close my eyes, thinking that this is it… god, I’m actually going to kiss a dude. And I’m so fucking ready for it.

  
“Okay guys, great stuff. I got more than I need.”

  
Opening my eyes, I see that Jensen looks just as disappointed as I do. Fuck. I shake my head and laugh softly, sliding off of his body and moving to the side so the sheet still covers both of us. I struggle to catch my breath because that was fucking hot and intense and everything in between. Jensen sighs contently and looks up to the ceiling, a goofy smile plastered on his face.

  
“You guys okay?” Tom asks, grinning knowingly. “You need some water? Maybe a cigarette?”

  
“Just go develop your pictures, Tom.” Jensen says and I don’t know about him, but I’m not ready to move at all. I don’t know if it’s because my cock is throbbing or if I’m just in shock or lust or head over heels for a dude that I can touch in front of a camera, but don’t know how in the living room of his apartment.

  
“I don’t think I can move.” Jensen smiles after Tom closes the door to his darkroom, leaving us alone.

  
“That was some pretty good foreplay, I guess. For a dude.” I grin, still not opening my eyes, still feeling the heat from Jensen’s body under the sheet.

  
He sits up and smirks. “Guess I’ll have to try harder next time, huh?”

  
I smile and nod, content with just laying here for right now. “Guess so.”

  
And I can’t wait.

 

**Jensen's POV**

 

Shit. Dropping a huge ass thing of toilet paper right in the middle of the fucking aisle in the fucking grocery store is the most embarrassing thing ever. Oh and those two ladies that watched me and then turned to laugh? Yeah, that really made it all better.

  
“Asshole.”

  
“Why am I an asshole?” Jared sounds hurt on the other side of the phone and I can’t help but to smile at his fucking pure cuteness.

  
“Because I wasn’t expectin my phone to ring and I dropped… something.”

  
“Oh.” Jared pauses and I look above me at the speakers with shitty music coming out of them. “Where are you anyway?”

  
“Uh…” I start to wheel my grocery cart to the checkout stands and try to think fast. “The bar. They got some chick show playin on the tv.”

  
“Mmm hmm. Drinkin already at… ten o’clock in the morning?” Jared asks and I can almost see the smile on his face. “Seems to me like you have a little problem, Jen. Anything you wanna tell me about?”

  
“Shut up.” I grumble into the phone. “Why’d you call anyway? To ruin my morning after a hellish night?”

  
He laughs softly. “Yeah I know. I’m surprised you even made it outta bed this morning. Still hung over or what?”

  
“No. At least I’m walking among the living and not still sleepin… Jared… Jared?”

  
A puff of warm breath tickles my ear and all I hear is a soft “Boo!”

  
I turn quickly and can feel the heat rising into my cheeks. Damnit. Why did I have to lie and say I was somewhere cooler than a stupid grocery store? “You following me or something?”

  
“No. Idiot.” He turns to look down in his basket and now he’s the one who’s starting to turn bright red. “I’m just running errands and…”

  
“Buying condoms?” I finish for him, picking them up out of is basket and shaking the box. “Extra large? Really? Never woulda thought… guess you know what size I am though, since you felt me up at the last shoot n’all.”

  
Jared glares at me and grabs the box from my hand. “Anyway. You been to the bank yet? See how much we got in our paycheck?”

  
“No. Why? Don’t tell me they cut our pay or something.”

  
“Dude.” He smiles and looks at the row of grape juice behind me. “Don’t know ‘bout you but there was an extra thousand bucks in my account.”

  
“Are you fucking serious!?” I ask way too loudly and way too excitedly because everyone and their mother that is around us turns to look at me. “Seriously?” I ask again, this time in a whisper and leaning into Jared.

  
“Yeah dude. Yeah.” He smiles and looks around. “So why’d you say you were at a bar?”

  
“Uh…” I decide to completely ignore his question. “What? Hey, did you see that display of captian cruch? Better stock up, man. Gotta thousand bucks burning a hole in your pocket.”

  
Jared looks over to where I point and gets all dreamy eyed. “Oh damn… yeah I better.” He starts to walk over and I follow him, pushing my cart as we go. “Although I think I wasted a good amount of money at the bar last night, thanks to your ass.”

  
“Hey I didn’t force that good stuff down your throat.”

  
“Yeah well… it’s a good thing I drank the expensive shit because otherwise I would so have a bad hangover right now.”

  
It’s true too. We drank a lot last night and had a repeat at my apartment of looking through the newest issue of the magazine. Cowboy style. Jared’s expressions were priceless and I don’t think I’d ever get bored of seeing his face full of ecstasy as I kiss down his neck. I can’t see him while I’m doing it but the pictures capture his every emotion… and I don’t think it’s just for the camera.

  
We ended up sleeping in my bed again, but nothing happened. Again. Which is slightly disappointing in thee most awkward way. I’ve never felt my chest tighten to the point where it fucking hurts to breathe, especially when we’re so close and not at the studio. It’s when we want to be together that's the hardest, almost touching, almost doing more with each other than I think either of us wants to admit.

  
“Jen? You like blueberry or strawberry poptarts?”

  
I stare at him for a moment and let the question sink in. Is it wrong that I feel like we’re grocery shopping together? As like in… we were a couple. And fuck, I wasn’t expecting for something like this to feel so damn good.

  
“What does it matter? Get whatever you like, dork.”

  
He tilts his head, his eyes are sparkling and he smiles a little. “Just thought the sleep over could be at my place next time.”

  
“Oh… then I like strawberry.” I mumble and turn away before he can see the soft red start to swim in my cheeks. I realize that I didn’t argue about having yet another sleep over. God. We’re such chicks.

  
He grabs two boxes and throws them in his basket. “Doin anything today? You wanna catch a movie or something before work?”

  
“Um… I can’t.” I tell him as I point to the ice cream in my cart. “Gotta get this in the fridge.”

  
“Oh.” He looks disappointed and shrugs. “It’s cool. Actually, you just made me remember to pick some up too.” He smiles and heads over to the frozen section. I follow like a stray dog, afraid that I might lose sight of him even though he towers over everyone. He opens the door and doesn’t hesitate to pick out a pint of rocky road. I let him get half way down the aisle before I grab the same kind… just in case he sleeps over again. I want to have something he’ll like.

  
**

  
As I walk down the hallway to get to the studio, I can hear Jared laughing from inside. I raise my eyebrow. Usually I’m here before he is and now I feel like I’ve actually missed out on some precious Jared time, even though we sorta talked on the phone for an hour… or two after we both got home from the grocery store. We talked about music, movies, and all kinds of stupid shit. Jared was totally shocked that I had never seen Ghostbusters and insisted that I see it right away. He said to make sure that I have marshmallows in the house too and when I asked why he said that I would understand.

  
And then… then we started to talk about the magazine that eventually turned into talking about sex. Some how he managed to get me to admit that I never really came from having my fingers in my…well, up there. I was too excited and he made me describe the orgasm, which he says could’ve been a lot more intense if I hadn’t been so worked up. I told him it was his fault for getting me so turned on even though he was on the other side of the door. Talking to him about that kinda stuff came way too easily and at the same time it’s kinda cool to be so open with someone. But it makes today kinda weird because now I have to see him, but as I open the door to his goofy grin and bright eyes, I realize that nothing has changed and if it has it’s only for the better.

  
“Hey Jen!” Jared calls out happily when he sees me. “There’s coffee in the kitchen."

  
I smile back and dunk in the small room, where Missy is leaning on the counter with a cup in her hands. She grins at me and winks.

  
“What?” I ask her suspiciously.

  
“Oh nothing…” She walks over to the sink and rinses out the mug she’d been using, setting it carefully away. “Jared just got here early…” She starts and as she walks by me, “To make sure there was coffee. For you.”

  
Her words are soft, but man do they stick in my heart until it warms with the thought of Jared wanting to make sure there was coffee for me. Damn him. Why does he have to be so fucking good?

  
“Hey Jen, guess what I rented.” Jared says as he walks over to me, that smile still plastered on his face.

  
I grin back because I already know. “Let me guess? Does it involve ghosts?”

  
“Yep. Slimy green ones.”

  
“And that apparently means that I’m gonna wanna eat marshmallows…” I trail off still wondering what that means.

  
“You’ll see, you’ll see.” He smiles. “So I was thinking we could get a six pack and go back to your place or something after the shoot.”

  
I nod, trying to keep my cool and not get too excited about the thought of spending more time with him. “Sounds like a plan.”

  
“And maybe we can try again…” He whispers, his eyes all of a sudden getting darker.

  
I hesitate as I look back at him. “To uh… to do what?”

  
He doesn’t say anything. Just winks and smiles and fuck if that didn’t go straight to my cock. Damnit.

  
Tom walks towards us but his eyes are glued to the camera that is wrapped around his neck as he turns and plays with the settings. “You guys ready?”

  
I look over to where the red heart bed was last time and my eyes fall. There’s nothing there. Again. Fuck. Don’t tell me we’re going outside again. It’s cold out. “Seriously? Outside again?”

  
“Nope.” Tom says, finally looking up. “But get your swimming trunks.”

  
“Huh?”

  
He nods to the bathroom and I crinkle my nose the whole way down the small hall and peek my head in. There’s Missy lighting the last of the candles and for a small ass bathroom, it looks fuckin romantic as hell but all I can think about is how the fuck are both me and Jared gonna fit in that tub?There’s already bubbles and water almost spilling over the edge and it’s dark and it smells like flower crap from the candles all over the damn place. I think I kinda like it.

  
“Well…” Jared sighs and puts his hands on his hips. “I hope it’s warm.”

  
“Should be.” Missy says, dipping her hand in and checking the temperature. “Yep. It’s good. You guys better hurry though.”

  
I glance at Jared and we share a look of understanding that we’re not gonna try to hide anything anymore. It’s gone too far for that and we’ve become too close. And besides, it’s not like we’re gonna outright stare at each other…. Well, I’ll try not to at least.

  
“Miss, come on. Let’s leave them to get in there.” Tom says and I swear I hear Missy curse under her breath. They leave the door open a crack and the light from the hallway is enough combined with the candles for Jared and I to see each other pretty well.

  
“Actually this is kinda good.” Jared smiles and begins to slip off the blue sweater he’s wearing. “I don’t think I’ve showered in like two days.”

  
“Ew dude.” I scrunch my nose and start to unbutton my shirt. “Keep your nastiness to yourself.”

  
His fingers travel to the button of his jeans as mine do the same. “Well I was gonna shower at your place, but now I won’t have to.”

  
Damn. A naked Jared walkin around my kitchen woulda been damn nice. Stupid magazine.

  
He turns and gives me a chance to take down my pants and boxers so we don’t really have to see each other as we undress. We leave our clothes on the floor, cover our cocks with one hand and brace ourselves on the wall with the other. It’s awkward and I almost slip, but somehow we manage to both sit down with our knees folded at the opposite ends of the tub.

  
“You guys ready?” Tom asks and knocks on the door. Jared tells him that yeah, we’re as ready as we’re gonna be and Missy pushes her way past Tom with a huge smile on her face.

  
“Damn. I’m seriously the luckiest chick alive.” She says as she looks fondly at both of us, then whips out her hand that was behind her back. “Here. I gotta go to class but I couldn’t resist.” She squeezes a small yellow rubber ducky and drops it in the water. “Bye guys.” Smiling, she ruffles Jared’s hair before she leaves. I tilt my head, wondering when they became so close.

  
“Okay guys, let me just adjust the lighting…” Tom trails off and brings in a stand with a big light bulb attached to it. He places it just right and when he says “okay, do your thing” I glance at Jared who is biting on his bottom lip with his eyes almost hooded with pure sex appeal.

  
I suck in a deep breath. This one is gonna be by far the most difficult one. Definitely.

  
The first couple of shots are easy, of course. The clicks of Tom’s camera make us feel comfortable and I start to pretend that he’s not even there. Jared leans back, raises his long leg out of the water and drapes it over the side of the tub. I take his ankle in my hand and start to rub my cheek over his leg, kissing his damp skin as I move up. His leg moves with me and he gasps as I move forward, letting his leg lie over my shoulder. Kissing his neck, I move some of the bubbles out of my way and make sure that I can’t feel a draft on my ass because that would be embarrassing as all hell.

  
Oh holy fucking fuck. And there’s his hard dick. Pressing against my hard dick. And fucking wow. My mind is a pile of mush and all I can do is try and concentrate on kissing his neck, but it’s really fucking hard. Hard…yeah, that’s exactly what we are and shit damn fuck it feels so good. Fuck. It’s hard to breathe.

  
Especially when Jared is whimpering under me, his eyes are closed too and his hands are all over my back, pressing down into my skin and smoothing over my hips slowly and then running his palms all the way up to my shoulders, grasping me and silently telling me that this feels good. And it would feel fucking so right if Tom wasn’t in the room with us.

  
“Jensen… Jesus…” Jared moans and sits up a little, finally opening his eyes and he catches my face with his hand, sliding his palm down my cheek and looking deeply into my eyes. “I… it’s not supposed to feel this good…”

  
And Tom brings us back into the moment yet again by tripping on our clothes and cursing under his breath. “Sorry.” He whispers and it’s enough to make me smile and slide my hand through Jared’s hair, pulling him in for an almost kiss. We pose and I trail my fingers to his mouth and he sucks them in one by one and I arch back, hissing and biting on my bottom lip. He leans up and starts to lick up my chest, nibbling and biting as he goes. We move the bubbles around us and manage to get to our knees, standing up on them so our bottom half is covered but our wet chests are grinding together as we move into each other’s arms.

  
“God Jared…” I breathe out heavily, my tongue lavishing this sweet spot right at the base of his neck. “Taste so fucking good.”

  
“Mmm…” He sighs happily and bends his neck to the side, jerking his hips against my fingertips as I suck harder.

  
We probably stay like this a little too long because Tom has to give us some direction. “Jared… slide in front of Jensen and grab the edge of the tub.” He says softly, walking us through the positions. “Then lean back on Jensen’s chest. Both of you close your eyes… Jensen, wrap your arms around Jared… good guys… good.”

  
When Tom’s voice begins to fade out again, I push on Jared’s spine and scrape my teeth down the side of his neck. God… I think there’s actually a hickey forming. My hands caress down both of his arms until they are covering his that are gripping the white ceramic. Our fingers link and I can feel my dick getting harder by the minute and thank god we’re in water because then I can deny that there was ever precum.

  
“Jensen… make like you’re… ya know… from behind.” Tom instructs and my breath hitches at his words. I stand up a little more on my knees that have slipped to the side and push my dick into Jared’s lower back, causing him to groan and practically bend his head all the way until he’s resting on my shoulder. I thrust again, this time harder and I watch his face contort into bliss as I’m sure I look exactly the same. One of my hands move under the bubbles and I rest it on his inner thigh, knowing that it looks like I’m stroking him off.

  
“Right on…” Tom whispers and I know he’s trying not to break our mood. “Jensen lay down again. Jared, slick your hair back and rest your head on Jensen’s chest… try to make it look like ya know… like ya just um cameorsomething.”

  
It takes Jared a little longer than me to get his composure back as I lay down and spread my legs a little to give him room. He shakes his head and cups his hands full of water, then lets it drip over his hair as his fingers slick his bangs back. I raise my eyebrow as I watch him. Wow. I bet he would clean up real nice.

  
I reach up a hand as he falls onto my body and I smooth one palm over his hip and the other one at the back of his neck, feeling the wet curls between my fingers. I bend my head and close my eyes, waiting for Tom to snap his camera. I tilt his head up and run my thumb across his chin. We smile at each other as Tom takes another picture. I lean in and our lips are dangerously close to touching. We rub our noses together softy and quickly and then I give him a big kiss on his cheek. He scrunches his nose and splashes me and that makes bubbles land in my mouth which makes me start to gag.

  
“Okay, okay… we’re good. Man, you guys are skilled. No wonder the magazines can’t stay on the shelf.” Tom beams, not even looking at us but staring at his camera. I can tell he’s dying to get in the dark room. And I’m right because he doesn’t say one more word as he turns and walks out of the room.

  
Jared chuckles and leans his forehead on my chest. “Oh man. Dude… sorry I was… I mean, I guess I got a little excited…”

  
“Yeah. No worries, man. I did too. It’s just uh… natural, ya know? Nothin we can do about it.”

  
“Uh yeah there is.” He smiles, teasing me. “Walk around with fuckin blue balls all day. At least till we get to your place.” His grin grows and fuck I could cum right here.

  
“Come on.” I grunt. “Get off of me. You’re elbow’s humpin my ribs over here.”

  
“Jealous?” He teases and I don’t even know what the hell that’s supposed to mean so I just start to laugh.

  
“Here… ghostbuster.” I hand him a towel from off the toilet seat, then grab one for myself. We get out of the tub slowly and wrap the towels around our waists, letting them hang just off our hips. “Too bad Tom didn’t get a picture of us like this…” I tell Jared, wiping some of the bubbles from my chest.

  
“Yeah.” Jared agrees and peers over my shoulder. “Aw Jensen. Don’t forget your best friend.” He tries to hold back a laugh as he reaches for the rubber ducky and squeezes it.

  
“Shut up.” I grumble.

  
He smirks. “Or… what?”

  
The toy squeaks loudly in his hand.

  
“Or I’ll shove that thing where the sun don’t shine.” I tell him seriously, hoping he can’t see the humor in my eyes.

  
“Promise?” And the smirk is still there and I just wanna kiss it right off of him.

  
Maybe tonight I’ll get that chance.

  
Laughing, he squeaks the damn thing again and runs outta the bathroom. But not before I give him a good smack on the ass and yeah, it was a cheap shot but hell… he was just askin to play grab ass and damn, I’m more than willing to play that game with him.

 ** Jared's POV **

Jensen has been groaning and moaning for the last hour, the sweat has been consistently dripping off his brow and into his eyes and I can tell its bothering him because he keeps rubbing his forehead. His neck is tilted back as he hisses one last time, his muscles so tense and stiff and I can tell he’s having trouble breathing as the flush creeps up his naked chest.

  
“Damn dude… I haven’t worked out in so long. These weights are killin me over here.” He grunts, almost taking himself out too as he puts them back in the holder. “I think I pulled every muscle in my body.”

  
I shake my head and turn down the treadmill that I’m running on to a slow walk. “That’s why you can’t just do it when you feel like it, gotta do it every other day or something.”

  
He stretches, trying to work out the kinks in his back. “I know, I know. But usually I’d rather sleep. Maybe I should just get one of those home gym things so I wouldn’t have to leave the apartment.”

  
“Maybe…” I trail off, staring at him as he bends over. “Y’still got a helluva nice body for someone that works out half-assed.”

  
That makes him smile and he walks over to grab a towel. “Yeah well, you worked this poor body sore. You wanna shower back at my place or here?”

  
Hmm. If we shower here then I could probably get a good look at that tight ass. This morning it had been way too dark in the bathroom and I could hardly concentrate anyway. But if we shower at his place then that gives me a reason to walk around just in my underwear afterwards. I mean, who’s gonna put jeans on after a nice hot shower? Especially if I’m spending the night, which I assume that I am. Right after we watch Ghostbusters, of course.

  
“Earth to Jared…”

  
“Oh um, let’s just go. I’m not one for getting all nude in public.”

  
Jensen shakes his head. “Dude, you pose for a nudie magazine. You’re a male model. How is that possible?”

  
“Hey man.” I grin as I walk towards him. “Can’t explain these things about myself.”

  
“My name is Jared and I’m a freak.” Jensen teases as we walk to the locker room. “I’m single, like long walks on the beach, and cheesy 80’s movies.”

  
“Don’t forget to add in the part where I’m cheap and easy.” I laugh, patting him on the back and pushing the door open.

  
Jensen’s eyebrows furrow and he gives me a serious look.

  
“Dude, I’m kidding.”

  
The corner of his mouth twitches and his green eyes start to smile a little. “Well I was gonna say… the cheapness I knew about but easy? Damn, I wouldn’t have been working so hard to get in your pants.”

  
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes, but know he’s startin to flirt and once we start, it’s so freakin hard to stop. “If you were working to do anything, you woulda gotten it by now.”

  
He grins hard and pulls his t-shirt over his head. “Oh I don’t know… maybe the work is half the fun.”

  
**

  
We end up stopping by the liquor store for some beer and the pizza place for an early dinner. It’s only late afternoon but because we had to actually be at work on time, both of us are starting to drag. Which is pretty sad for a couple of young dudes like ourselves, but what can I say… I’d rather be at Jensen’s small quiet apartment and alone than some loud busy bar where anyone can watch our every move. And I worked Jensen pretty hard at the gym too. We played basketball for about an hour before we hit the weights and I think I almost made him pass out when I suggested that we run on the treadmill too. He chose to lift more weights while I ran.

  
By the time we get to his place, we seriously stink. Well, I don’t know about him, but I certainly do. Plus I wanna get out of these clothes that are still damp from my sweat and into something that doesn’t involve a jock strap.

  
Plopping my bag down on his table, I tell him that I’m gonna head straight for the shower.

  
“Don’t wanna eat first? It’s gonna get cold.”

  
I shake my head. “It’s cool. I’ll nuke it after I’m done.” I tell him, stripping off my shirt and throwing it towards my bag, which I miss and it tips over causing some of my stuff falling out.

  
Jensen raises his eyebrows as he picks up the dvd. “This doesn’t even look scary.” He frowns, but then starts to giggle as he starts to read the back. “Okay, looks good enough. Hurry your ass up so we can watch it and--”

  
He stops talking when he eyes the other box that fell from my bag that I hadn’t even noticed. “You brought condoms with you? What’d you think? You were gonna get lucky or something?”

  
“Um… no.” I say quickly, grabbing the box out of his hand. God. It was bad enough that he caught me buying some and now this? “I just put them in my bag and uh… forgot about them.” I know I’m blushing but I can’t help it.

  
“I’m just kidding, Jay. It’s not a crime to carry around condoms. Makes me wonder though…” He trails off and then shakes his head like he wished he had never started the sentence.

  
“Wonder about what?” I ask.

  
“Nothin. Now go take a shower and be quick about it. I gotta take one too.”

  
I smile wickedly. “Wanna take one with me? I mean, we already took a bath together today… I don’t really see the harm in getting wet with you again.”

  
He shoots a glare in my direction and I can see him start to stiffen in his loose workout shorts. “Don’t be an idiot and go. And don’t use up all of the hot water!” He shouts after I start to walk down the hall.

  
“Well if you’d take one with me we wouldn’t have to worry about that!” I tease back, smiling to myself because that was a good one.

  
All I hear in response is the opening of a beer can before I close the door softly behind me, not caring to lock it in case Jensen really does decide to join me because damn, that would be awesome. Maybe we could have a repeat of this morning but without the awkwardness of Tom being in the room with us. I have to force myself not to even think about the shoot because otherwise I’ll get hard and want to jerk off in the shower, which will take longer than Jensen expects me to be in here. So I take a deep breath and turn on the water, silently telling myself that I’m not allowed to get hard right now. Or for the entire night because even though I spent the entire morning with a hard-on, I’m not supposed to be attracted to dudes. Gotta keep reminding myself of that.

  
After I’m done with the shower, I feel a lot better and throw a towel around my waist. With my workout shorts in my hand, I open the door and feel the shock of heat penetrate my skin. Jensen must’ve turned the heater on.

  
I start to walk down the hallway when I hear Jensen in his bedroom, turning on the tv.

  
“Hey, what’d ya doin?” I ask, leaning on the doorframe. He glances up and down my body, eyeing me hungrily.

  
“I figured we’d watch in here… since the big tv n’all.” He points to where the tv takes up most of the wall space and I nod.

  
“As long as I can drink beer in your bed, it’s all good.”

  
He crinkles his nose a little. “Okay, but don’t spill on the sheets.”

  
I smile and toss him the towel that was around my waist. “I guess I can sit on this just in case.”

  
Jensen looks surprised to see my naked ass, but I don’t stop and let him get a good look before I make a beeline to my bag and slip on some clean briefs. I hear the shower turn on and grab the six-pack and my gym bag, heading for Jensen’s room again. He put the movie in already and I wonder if he dimmed the lights on purpose or if he just didn’t think to turn them on. The sun is already starting to set and the drapes are pulled. His bedroom really isn’t all that interesting, I notice as I sit on the queen bed and look around. The tv is bigger than the one out in the living room, there’s a dresser with a mirror in the corner, there’s a plant in the other corner and I’m kinda surprised he hasn’t killed it yet. Then, on the bed stand on his side there’s a small lamp that I click on. Leaning back into the soft pillows, I let out a sigh and close my eyes for a minute, just listening to the water spill down in patterns over Jensen’s body as the drops pitter patter on the floor of the tub.

  
I’m starting to feel at home here… and I kinda like it. A lot. It’s not lonely like it is at my place. Not lonely at all.

  
The water suddenly stops and I can hear as he pulls back the curtain. I cross my legs at the ankle, just relaxing and getting comfortable. I wonder if anything will happen tonight between us. This morning had been a damn good amount of foreplay and I wonder if he’s feelin as horny as I am. I hope that he is.

  
“Hey Jay?” I hear him call my name and I open my eyes. “Oh here you are.” He laughs lightly at the sight of me sprawled out on his bed in just my briefs. “Dude… you look in a mirror yet?”

  
“For what?” I ask.

  
He rubs his jaw like he really doesn’t wanna tell me. “Don’t know about you but I have a hickey from this morning.”

  
“WHAT!” I shriek and barely can recognize my own voice as I leap to my feet and run over to the mirror. Sure enough, there’s a bruise on my neck right below my ear. “Damnit Jensen!”

  
“Whatever! It’s not my fucking fault and you gave one to me too, genius.”

  
I sigh and crawl back on his bed. “Yeah but my manager is makin me get head shots tomorrow. He’s gonna kill me.”

  
“Oh I’m sorry.” Jensen says, rolling his eyes. “We were both just sorta naked and in a bathtub and I was kinda just doin my job.”

  
“Well did you have to do it so fucking well?” I moan dramatically, stretching to move the remote control from under my back.

  
“It’s not the end of the world, ever hear of make-up?” Jensen smiles and opens the top drawer of his dresser, pulling out some shorts. He puts him on under his towel and my eyes are glued at the sight in hope just to get a glimpse of what I already know is under there.

  
I sigh and give him a doubtful look. “You wanna come with me and explain why I got a hickey?”

  
“No. Not really.” He answers and lies down next to me. “Now be a good little boy and go warm up some pizza for us.”

  
I glare at him but still start to get up. “Didn’t say please.” I mutter.

  
He just smirks and presses play. “Sorry man, that word ain’t in my vocabulary until I get what I want.”

  
“No wonder you don’t have any friends.” I tease and start to walk to the kitchen.

  
I hear a beer can pop open and he calls out. “Hey man, I got you! That’s all I need!”

  
I’m glad he can’t see me because the smile that I get on my face is probably stupid and goofy and everything in between. Damn, I haven’t had these stupid tingly feelings in the pit of my stomach mixed with nervousness and excitement in a really long time… not since, well not since I care to remember. And oddly enough, it doesn’t even really matter that a dude is making me feel like this. I wonder if he feels the same way.

  
“Makin a new career outta nuking cold pizza?” Jensen yells from the room and I shake my head, trying to get all of these leaky thoughts back into my brain.

  
Two minutes later we’re both eating and our eyes are glued to the tv. Our feet are wiggling at the bottom of the bed and I glance over at Jensen who seems to be really happy. Or maybe it’s just me wanting him to be happy. I don’t know what it is or why it’s happening, but I like to see him laugh or smile. Like, it’s almost more important for him to be having a good time more than myself.

  
By the middle of the movie, Jensen is laughing his ass off and sipping on the last of his beer. We’ve moved closer in the bed and I can feel the warmth radiating off of his skin. More than once I’ve snuck a glance at him and the only thing that I can really see is that hickey on his neck. That place where I marked with my mouth… and I have one to match. Damn. Why is this turning me on so much?

  
“Crap dude.” Jensen says as he tosses the last of the beer back. “Pause it. Gotta take a piss break.”

  
I’m interested in him way more than the movie, but snap out of it before he notices. “Yeah. Yeah sure.” I reach for the remote and press the button as Jensen scoots out of the bed. My eyes follow his smooth tan back as he leaves and I’m beginning to sweat just because I keep looking at him. I need to get my head outta my ass and stop. Just watch the fuckin movie. If I keep staring, Jensen will probably throw me out for being a freak.

  
The toilet flushes and I straighten up by sucking in my stomach and fixing my hair real quick. Why I do that I’m not really sure, but I let myself breathe when I hear him walk down the hall and the fridge door open.

  
“You want some rocky road?” He calls out and I settle back into the pillows, a huge grin on my face.

  
“Hell yes I want some! Make it a triple!” I yell back.

  
Jensen laughs and a few minutes later there is a huge bowl of my favorite ice cream right in the middle of us. “Sorry man, all I have is one spoon. Gotta do the dishes I guess. You mind sharing?”

  
I crinkle my nose as I watch him shovel in a rather impressive amount of ice cream into his mouth. “We might as well make-out then.” I tell him, grabbing the spoon for myself. “If I’m gonna be havin your cooties in my mouth anyway.”

  
“Yeah, yeah. You wish.” He mumbles, reaching for the remote and pushing play. He looses himself in the movie again and his laugh is like music to my ears. I concentrate on the ice cream though, swirling it around in the bowl and taking another big bite. Shifting on the bed, I prop myself up on one elbow and raise the spoon towards Jensen. He gives me a funny look, but then opens his mouth slowly because his attention is right back at the tv. I have to hold back a moan as I see the tip of his tongue snake out to lick a drop of chocolate that spills over the corner of his lip.

  
I can’t do this. I’m torturing myself here. Hoping for something that will probably never happen. Needing something that I shouldn’t. Wanting something so bad that it almost hurts to think about.

  
Dropping the spoon back into the bowl, I lean back in the pillows and watch the movie. Only glancing once or twice in Jensen’s direction. My thoughts drift back to the hickey on my neck and the matching one on his. I wonder if anyone were to see us together… would they think that me and Jen were a couple? No. No way. That’s stupid.

  
Before I know it, the movie is over and I’m complaining that I ate too much. Jensen gets up to make sure the doors are locked and the lights are off in his little but comfortable as hell apartment. I was tired a few hours ago and now I couldn’t be more awake. I should probably just go home, get in my own bed, and jerk off till every last drop of cum is milked right outta my dick. I really should go. Really. I should.

  
Jensen looks like a little kid as he runs back into the room, jumping on the bed and snuggling down into the sheets. He sighs happily, stretches as he lays on his back, and moves his feet from side to side.

  
Fuck no I’m not going home. No way in hell. I’m not going fucking anywhere. Except to the bathroom.

  
“Be right back.” I tell him quickly and shove the covers off of me.

  
“Push hard.” He laughs, knowing exacting where I’m going.

  
I’m in there for enough time to do my business quickly and just knowing that I’m gonna be sleeping next to him tonight makes me get a little hard. Okay, a lot hard but no one has to know.

  
Slipping back into bed, I realize that Jensen’s now more in the middle than he was before. I have no choice but to try and relax with the heat from his body swarming my skin into a sweet heaven.

  
A few minutes pass and I think that he’s asleep when all of a sudden he stirs and clears his throat. “God… I still have blue balls from this morning.”

  
Something between a squeak and a laugh erupts from my mouth and I wish with all my heart I could take it back. Jensen either doesn’t notice or is too polite to say something. He just sighs deeply and I can hear him rustle around.

  
“Well… if you need to make an extra trip to the pisser… I promise I won’t make fun of ya.” I tease, sliding a little closer to him. “I mean, we _were_ gonna practice using your fingers up… there.”

  
“Yeah.” His voice is mellow and thoughtful, like he’s at peace with whatever it is he’s thinking. “I think I’m too tired to go there though… wanna be fully sober and awake when I try again. Ya know, to get it right.”

  
“Yeah.” I agree and push the blankets down a little, just so they cover around my hips. It’s kinda getting hot in here. “That mean your too tired to do… other stuff?”

  
There’s a hesitation, but only for a second. “Like what?”

  
I desperately try to think of what to say but nothing comes to mind. “Um… I dunno. Just know I got blue balls too.”

  
“I guess we’re fucked.”

  
“Guess so.”

  
Jensen sighs heavily again. This should be so awkward but it’s really not. It’s just deciding who’s gonna make the first move.

  
“Dude I’m so horny right now I bet I’ll just have a wet dream or something.”

  
“If you get cum on my sheets I’ll kill you.”

  
“Oh whatever.” I smile and turn a little towards him. “I’ll pay for the cleaning.”

  
“Hmm…” He pretends to think about it. “Too bad we’re not gay, huh?”

  
Disappointment sinks in my chest. “Yeah. Too bad.”

  
He moves a little closer. “Bet I could make you cum so damn hard too…” His voice is getting deeper and huskier by the second and I can feel myself starting to ache.

  
“Pssh. Whatever. I bet you’d have to work at it.” I tell him quietly, almost shyly.

  
He moves even closer. “Well the work is half the fun though, remember? And besides… I bet I can make you cum with just touchin your…oh I don't know. Your hand.”

  
That makes me laugh. “What? My hand? Yeah dude, good luck with that.”

  
He leans up a little and props himself up on his elbow. “Are you taking the challenge?”

  
I nod. “Challenge accepted.”

  
“Okay.” It comes out louder than I think he intended, but he’s moving again so it doesn’t matter. “Two conditions.”

  
I frown. “There weren’t any conditions a second ago.”

  
Laughing, he moves down my body and throws the sheets off of us. In one quick motion he strips me of my briefs and suddenly I’m very naked in his bed. I start to protest but hell, I think he wants this just as bad as I do and I’m too tired to fight it anymore.

  
“Nudity is a must. Sorry, I know how much you hate it n’all.”

  
“So what?” I ask, struggling not to cover myself up with my hand and just let him see me. The small lamp at the side of his bed is still on, but it’s only casting a dim shade of light compared to the shadows around us. “This is a one sided deal, huh? I don’t get a peak show too?”

  
“Fine.” Jensen mumbles and I finally get a chance to look at him. He really is fucking gorgeous. Not one flaw, not one little detail out of place on his body. I’ve never seen skin so golden and luscious before in my life. I can’t wait to just touch him all over.

  
“And the second condition…” Jensen says as he throws his briefs to the floor. “Is that you can’t touch yourself.”

  
“That’s fine.”

  
“Or me.”

  
Damn. Why does the world hate me? “Fine.”

  
Jensen smiles and slides down on the bed, lying on his stomach and breathes deeply as he finds my hand. I hold my breath as he turns it over in his and he studies every inch of my palm, then turns it over and looks at my fingers one by one. He links them with his and looks up at me, looks into my eyes and smiles softly.

  
God. I’m falling so hard.

  
“Such long fingers…” He starts, only briefly breaking our eye contact to glance at my index finger and he begins to stroke it gently up and down slowly.

  
“Yeah.” I choke out. “Good for fixin things.”

  
“Oh yeah?” He smiles and moves so his hip is leaning on mine. “Bet you can fix things up real nice.” He whispers, dipping his head and leaning into brush his cheek along my finger. I bite back a moan as I watch him through lazy eyes and scoot down in the bed, almost so we’re face to face but I’m still a laying a little higher than he is.

  
I stifle a laugh. “Well… I try. That okay?” I ask, not really knowing what the hell I’m talking about. I try to match Jensen’s voice, but my breath hitches when he bites his bottom lip and shoots me this amazingly seductive look.

  
“Yeah… that’s good, Jay. You’re good.” He says quietly, almost serious. I give a little nod, silently telling him that I hear what he’s saying… just don’t quite know what to say back. “And these hands… these hands, Jay… you don’t know what they do to me when we’re on the set.”

  
My eyebrows go up at that and man, do I want to hear more. “Really?”

  
“Yes really…” He smiles and starts to kiss up my index finger gently. “Kills me sometimes… havin you touch me for so long… don’t know if you really want to or not…”

  
“I do.” It comes out way faster than I meant for, but it’s nothing but the truth and I don’t want him thinking otherwise. “I mean… I uh… I like touching you, Jen. I like it a lot.”

  
He starts another slow trail of kisses from the top of my middle finger down, our eyes never leaving each other for a second. “Me too. Probably more than we should, huh?” He smiles, letting his tongue slip out a little and swirl around the tip of my nail. My mouth parts a little at the sight and my dick is throbbing so hard that I’m gonna start to thrust into thin air any second just for some relief.

  
“I think this feels pretty damn good.” I tell him, my eyes glazed over as he nips at the bottom of my middle finger and starts another trail of small kisses up my ring finger, licking and biting along the way.

  
“I think so too…” He turns to glace at my rock hard cock that is leaking buckets of precum onto my stomach. “So how am I doin? Gonna win this challenge?”

  
Panting, I nod and close my eyes. “Fuck yeah.”

  
His mouth is suddenly moving from my hand and before I know it, he’s leaning over my stomach and gathering some precum up with his tongue. With his lips less than an inch away from my cock head, I let out a huge moan and by the time I hump up, he’s already swirling his tongue around my pinky finger, going up and down slowly while his eyes fill with lust.

  
“You cheated…” I smile and grunt out, watching as his pretty mouth makes love to my fingers one by one.

  
“Sorry.” He shrugs. “Tasted kinda good though.” And he goes right back to kissing my open palm now all the while rubbing little circles on the back of my hand.

  
I whimper at that and my poor cock is aching. I need to touch it now, especially since Jensen just put his warm breath right by the fucking head. God. I can’t control it. Moving my other arm down, I squirm around and rest my hand on my hip. He doesn’t say anything and from the looks of it, I’m pretty sure that he’s humping the bed as he bites up and down my thumb.

  
“Jensen… I … I can’t. I mean… I need to…”

  
He starts moving a little faster, his hips jutting into the mattress as he takes my index and middle finger and pushes them together. “Go ahead, Jay. Just do it man. Wanna see you cum for me.” And with that he takes my fingers deep into his hot mouth and wraps his lips tightly around them, sucking and flicking his tongue all over.

  
Everything is a blur as I reach for my cock and I’m done within less than a minute. I watch Jensen suck with his eyes closed just like he’s enjoying it as much as I am before I have to close my eyes too, letting the waves of one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had wash over me, through me, and so far inside of me that I can hardly breathe.

  
I finally catch my breath and I’m so sleepy that can I barely function to throw the covers over mine and Jensen’s bodies and turn to switch off the lamp. I’m gonna pay for not cleaning up in the morning but right now I could care less.

  
The shadows that cast over us are light blue dusk and I wrap my arm around Jensen’s waist to pull him close. Our legs fold together and our feet rub next to each other softly. This is something I would call perfect.

  
“Jen?”

  
“Hmm?”

  
“You cum?”

  
“Yep.”

  
“Good.”

  
He pauses and moves closer to me. “Yep.”

  
I stroke my fingers up his spine until I come to his chin and trace a line over his lips. Quickly, I place my thumb to my mouth and kiss it, and then put it right back on Jensen’s lips as he slowly kisses it too.

  
We fall asleep just like this. Quiet. Content. And complete.

 **  
Jared's POV**

  
“Jared…”

  
“Jay, your phone is buzzin.”

  
“Jared.”

  
“Jared!”

  
No. It’s too damn early. I don’t want to get up. Please don’t make me. God. I’m so damn comfortable. I don’t ever want to move.

  
“JARED!”

  
“Wha?” I groan and roll over, squinting as I yawn and realize that Jensen is entirely on the other side of the bed, almost hanging off the edge. He’s shooting the meanest glare ever in my direction.

  
“PHONE!”

  
“Oh shit! Sorry!” I scramble to my gym bag that was left on the floor and reach into the pocket. Fuck that’s loud. I press the small button hard so the alarm stops and slump against the bed, rubbing my hand up and down my face in attempt to wake the hell up. What the hell even time is it? Why is my alarm even going off? I don’t even have anything… yes, I did have something to do today. That’s why I set my… fuck.

  
“FUCK!”

  
“Are you seriously this loud every morning?” Jensen bitches and moves over to the middle of the bed. “Because I don’t think I can handle this.”

  
I don’t even have time to hear him because I’m flying out of his bedroom and into the bathroom so fast that I almost trip over my own two feet. Almost. I catch myself and hurry into the shower, not even bothering to shut the door or even turn on the light. The water is cold when I step in and shivers shoot down my spine and legs. Standing back, I let it warm up and take a deep breath. I panicked when I first saw the time, but I have a good forty-five minutes to get to the photo studio where Mike will be waiting to approve every picture that is taken. It’s kinda irritating, but what can I say? He’s a good manager.

  
The water streams down and sprays only my feet. Jensen’s shower is smaller than mine, but the tile is nice and new. I close my eyes and my thoughts drift to last night and how just plain… good it was. The best ever, really. And I know I should feel bad about what happened, but I don’t. Maybe after I wake up and realize exactly what’s happening between us, then I’ll freak out. But for now, the water is warming up nicely and I have about twenty minutes to wake up and try to pry my eyes open again.

And you know what does the trick? The shower door sliding open and Jensen’s voice all soft and breathy as he peeks his head in. “I got lonely.” He pouts, and then frowns as he blinks those big green eyes at me and leans against the wall.

  
“Well then get in here.” I smile, sliding my hand over his hip and guiding him in under the water with me. “Told you I’d get ya to take a shower with me.”

  
Jensen laughs softly and his eyes are still sleepy as he presses his forehead on my shoulder. We stand like this for a while, with my arms around his waist and his body leaning into me. We’re quiet and the water is warm around us as the steam starts to rise quickly in the room.

  
He lifts his arms and places his hands on my hips, sighing and peering up at me. “Why’d you leave so fast?”

  
His question makes me smile. “Remember, I told you last night? I gotta get those head shots taken and if I’m late my manager will kill me.”

  
“Oh yeah.” He frowns and looks disappointed as hell. Damn, there’s nothing more in the world I want to do right now other than to plant a soft kiss on those lips, but I just… I don’t think we’re there. Yet.

  
“So I guess I gotta get goin.” I whisper, not really wanting to go at all. I pull his body tighter in my arms and lower my head, my lips touching his hair and down his sideburns in soft apologies.

  
He nods. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Let me get outta here so you can finish.”

  
The trail of kisses I’ve been placing on his skin ends at his temple and he brushes his mouth against my shoulder quickly before he takes a step out. He still looks so tired that I bet he’ll go straight back to bed. I’d kill to go with him. Maybe it’s not too late to cancel… maybe I can just not show up to the shoot. No, I can’t do that. I’d feel guilty all day and I need to get these taken anyway. Stupid appointment. Why the hell did I have to make it so early? Yawning, I turn off the water and take one more deep breath because I know I’m gonna have to hurry the hell up if I’m gonna want to make it on time.

  
**

  
“What’re you up to?”

  
I tilt my head to hold my cell phone on my shoulder and throw some more clothes in the machine. “Um, nothing too interesting. Just some laundry.”

  
“How’d the photo thing go?”

  
“Eh, okay I guess. Mike said I had bags under my eyes and I think he spotted the hickey but just didn’t say anything about it.”

  
Jensen clears his throat. “Yeah I’m uh… sorry about that whole… hickey thing. Wasn’t thinking.”

  
“Dude, whatever. I gave you one too.” I tell him. “But maybe next time we can have ‘em more… oh I don’t know. Hidden.”

  
“Yeah?” I can hear the smile in Jensen’s voice and the huskiness is leaking through the phone. “Like where?”

  
“Hmm… Let’s see.” I pretend to think. “I think the inner thigh would be an ideal spot. Don’t you?”

  
He swallows so thickly I can hear him through the phone. “Ha. Yeah. Maybe.”

  
“Maybe?” I grin hard. “Okay, we’ll leave it at that. What’re you doin?”

  
Jensen makes this little ‘I don’t know' noise and grunts. “Nothing really. Talkin to your ass and watchin tv.”

  
“Anything good on?”

  
“Nada.”

  
I put soap in the washer and press the start button. “Damn dude, we’re a couple of interesting guys.”

  
“Male models.” Jensen says dryly. “We’re male models and interesting doesn’t have anything to do with what we are.”

  
“I bet it could get interesting… if you came over.” I tell him shyly, my heart pounding in my chest. Why am I nervous? That’s just great. The guy gives me butterflies.

  
“Oh yeah? We talkin… last night interesting? Or…” He trails off and I’m wondering what the hell to say to get this question right. I really want him to come over.

  
I nod even though he can’t see me. “Yeah. We could do what we did last night…”

  
“Don’t tell me you have Ghostbusters Two. You been holdin out on me man?”

  
Laughing, I tell him that he’ll need to come over to find out.

  
“Hmm… I don’t know.” He says. “Sounds like a trick to me.”

  
“I have strawberry pop tarts.” I remind him.

  
“I’m there. What’s your address?”

  
**

  
“Nice place you have here, Jay.”

  
“Thanks.”

  
We move into my living room and I watch as Jensen’s eyes look upwards towards the ceiling and then sweep side to side, trying to take in everything at once. He looks a little stiff and I want him to relax. If he relaxes, then I can relax and we have a chill night. Right now though, Jensen is scratching his head and looking at the couch like he’s afraid he’ll break it if he decides to sit down.

  
Beer. We need beer.

  
“You wanna beer?”

  
“Hell yes.”

  
I don’t think I should be thinking about kissing him right now, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my head the entire day and now here he is, standing in my kitchen and randomly looking through my mail.

   
“Here.” I hand him the bottle and my breath hitches when our fingers touch. He’s looking at me like he’s hungry with an appetite full of lust and something tells me that sippin on beer isn’t going to fill him up any time soon. My mouth goes dry as I realize that he’s doing the same thing to me. He’s making me hungry and thirsty and tired and excited all at the same time. It’s hard to keep up with these emotions flowing through my bones and shooting shock waves that bring me back to reality as they pierce my skin from underneath, just enough to let me know these feelings are harsher than anything I’ve ever experienced before.

  
“So uh…” I have to glance away before his eyes burn right through mine. “You wanna watch a movie or something?”

  
“Sure.” Jensen says, his voice flat. He takes a sip of beer, puts it on the table, and then leans on the counter. “If that’s what you think I came over here for then yeah, we can watch a movie.”

  
I tilt my head and start to smile, but try to keep it under control. “Well if that’s not what you came over here to do… well then, I don’t want to disappoint.”

  
“You sure about that?” He asks, now shuffling out of his jacket and swinging it on a chair. “Because I was thinking…” Jensen walks over to where I’m standing and reaches up to wrap his hand around my neck, smoothing his thumb over the hickey. “I was thinking that you could use a matching one of these.”

  
Grinning, I tell him that Missy’s gonna hate us tomorrow at the shoot.

  
“Naw. She’ll just have to put on a little more make up is all.”

  
My fingers start a trail up his sides and I take a step closer. “And you’ll be the one explaining why we both have hickeys all over?”

  
Jensen shrugs. “I’ll just tell her you were lonely and had to vacuum a lot. She’ll get the picture.”

  
“Asshole.”

  
He licks his lips and takes one more swig of beer. “Wanna show me the bedroom?”

  
“Well I don’t know…” Taking a deep breath, I step even closer to him. “You gonna take advantage of me in there?”

  
“If you’re lucky.” He smiles.

  
I roll my eyes while shaking my head and start walking through the living room. “Come on.”

  
My bedroom is pretty much like Jensen’s. Nothing exciting and just the necessary furniture n’stuff around the room. I have a king bed though so I can stretch out comfortably and the softest pillows ever… that Jensen has just found and is now rubbing his face against.

  
“Mmm…” He moans deeply. “Come back in an hour and wake me up.”

  
The mattress dips as I crawl on the bed to join him and he looks up from the movement. I lie down, hugging my own pillow to my head and bite my bottom lip as we glance nervously at each other. I’m sprawled out with my legs open wide and Jensen slides his foot next to mine so we’re touching ever so slightly. He turns so we’re face to face, our cheeks still resting on the pillows and we start to blink slowly, lazily almost but not too long as to break the eye contact.

  
“Hi.” Jensen whispers and reaches out, his hand sliding over my jaw line and his thumb landing on my bottom lip.

  
Grinning, I kiss the tip of his finger and move a little closer. “Hi.”

  
We continue to look at each other and I don’t know about him, but my heart is beating faster and I’m starting to sweat. His eyes are full of a bright green wonder that sparkle with passion and something deeper within. Suddenly they go from an almost brilliant emerald to a darker, intense shade that I’ve never seen before. He sighs and pulls his arm away and I instantly miss the warmth.

  
“What?” I ask, wondering why the sudden movement away from me.

  
“I just…” He struggles for the words as he looks up at the ceiling, searching for something that isn’t there. “I’m not gay, ya know?”

  
“Yeah… yeah, I know. Neither am I.”

  
He still can’t look at me. “Last night felt pretty gay.”

  
“Last night… is that all it felt like? Cuz to me it felt pretty damn good.”

  
“Yeah. That too. So are we um… like…” He swallows thickly and turns to look at me. “Gay _now_?” And it comes out sadly and this is the opposite reaction I want from any interaction with me.

  
“Don’t know, Jen. I think… I think we’ve been working so closely and we get along real good n’stuff. Just seemed kinda like the right thing to do or something. We were horny and it was fun. Doesn’t have to be anything bigger than it is.”

  
He nods and I can see his chest falling and rising with each steady breath he takes. “Yeah. It was fun. ‘Sides… it’s not like we made out or anything.”

  
I laugh at that, breaking the tension up a little. “Not like I even wanted to kiss you.”

  
“Oh you don’t wanna kiss me, huh?” He says, trying to be serious but I can hear the humor. “What? Do I smell or something?”

  
“Yeah Jensen, you smell.” I tell him sarcastically and I start to unbutton my shirt. “I just thought you wanted to kiss me is all. Ya know, give me another hickey. Or two.”

  
He fake yawns. “Hmm… I’m kinda getting tired.”

  
I sit up just for enough time to throw my shirt to the floor and then lay back on the bed, running my fingertips slowly down my abs and inching underneath my belt and jeans. “That’s too bad. I might have to go find that vacuum cleaner.”

  
And suddenly he’s on top of me and the room goes dark as my eyes fall close. He moves to the side of me and his leg drapes over both of mine as his hand rubs up to the top of my chest down to the bottom of my stomach. His sweet mouth is attached to my neck where there is no hickey but I’m sure it’ll only take a matter of minutes to fix that. His hand never stops moving around my body, occasionally tweaking my nipples but then go right back to stroking my skin in small soft circles. All I can do is lay here and as Jensen’s tongue finds that spot right behind my ear, I whimper loudly in hopes that he’ll stay right… _there._

  
“Not gay…” He whispers against my neck and I think I agree with him but who the hell knows. I’m completely gone as he licks and sucks, the warmth invading the non-existent space between us.

  
Before I know it, I’m rolling on top of him and getting him out of his shirt as quick as I can. My fingers fumble with his belt buckle, and then mine, and I only have time to push our jeans down to our knees before I lay back on top of him, thrusting my hips until our dicks slide together in a perfect rhythm underneath my stomach.

  
Jensen whispers a string of curse words as I bite and nip at his collarbone, knowing that neither of us won’t be able to last long because he’s just as hard as I am. I start to suck on his neck, just like he had done to me and press down even harder over him, the friction from our bodies making my cock start to ache and spill out precum. I want to slow down, take our time but it’s this need that is looming over us and casting a spell that makes us starve for each other. It’s over in mere minutes and we both pant as the liquid pearl leaks all over us, mixing into one that dampens our skin with stickiness.

  
“Damn.” Jensen wheezes out, barely able to breathe and I’m not sure if it’s because of my weight on top of him or the fact that we just came really fucking hard. I decide that I should move anyway and I shift to the side, eyeing his cock that is still a deep red at the tip with cum leaking all around. I lick my lips. Just one little taste… that’s all I want. He got to lick up my precum last night and now… I can’t explain it. I don’t know why I’m craving something I’ve never even tasted before. Scooting down in the bed, I lower my head and stick out my tongue to reach just a small splash of cum that dots his sharp hip bone. I close my eyes before I can change my mind and it doesn’t… doesn’t taste half bad. Not at all.

  
I peer back up at Jensen and grin shyly. “You taste kinda good.”

  
He laughs a little and runs his fingers through my hair, pushing back my bangs. “How do you even know that was mine?”

  
At the sight of my crinkled nose, Jensen starts to laugh harder and we both giggle like idiots until he’s back on top of me, dipping his lips behind my ear and hushing my laughter as he starts to kiss me again.

  
“We’re not gay.” He says again, moving to the other side of my neck, his mouth passing my lips closely.

  
“Not at all.” I tell him softly. I just like being with you, I like touching you, I like running my tongue up and down your skin until you sweat. I like making you cum by not even grazing your dick with my fingers, I like talking to you on the phone, I like listening to you breathe as you fall asleep.

  
And the way he links his fingers through mine and pulls them close to his chest right before we both drift off, I think he likes those things about me just as much as I do about him. And as he kisses each one of my knuckles softly as we close our eyes, I’m sure of it.

  **Jensen's POV**

 **  
**This is different. I thought it was gonna be like at the studio where we just touched and gave each other little kisses, ya know… like, a cheap way to get off or something. I really wasn’t expecting to feel like this. I wasn’t expecting to want him all the time, to crave his attention, and need to feel his presence around me. This is definitely not the same as the studio. At the studio we’re paid to be together and this thing that’s happening between us – well, as big of a mistake as it might be, we’re the ones making it. We’re choosing this. And I’m pretty much loving every second of it. And the last thing I wanna do is try to define it.

  
“Here.” Jared snaps me with a jock strap right in the stomach. “Put this on.”

  
“Ow. That hurt!” I tell him, my eyes wide as I inspect my skin. I don’t want any nasty welts right before the shoot.

  
Jared just grins and tosses me the shoulder pads that way a ton. We’re supposed to be football players today and I crinkle my nose as I heave the pads over by my feet. I hope we won’t be spending much time in these. Although, with Tom actin all pissy today I know that either we’ll get done fast because he won’t wanna waste much time or he won’t think any of the photos are good enough and will want to take a thousand shots because that’s just the way he is when he’s grumpy. I could go for either option, I guess. Getting done earlier means that Jared and I have more time to hang out and getting done later means that Jared and I will be naked longer. On top of each other. Possibly rubbing. Naked. Shit. I really don't need to get a hard on right now.

  
“Jensen!” Missy calls out from her work room where there’s more customs, make-up, and props than we’ll ever need. “Get in here!”

  
I look over to Jared and give him a look, asking what the hell is with everyone. He shrugs and grins a little, silently telling me good luck. Missy has black goop that’s supposed to go under my eyes in thick lines, just like a typical football player. I sigh and sit down, tilting my head up and closing my eyes.

  
She jerks my head to the side and I make a low grunt indicating some pain.

  
“Sorry.” She says quickly and unscrews the bottle. “Now stay still.”

  
“Yes ma’am.” I tell her quietly and I’m thinking about asking her what’s wrong, but then again I don’t think I could really say anything to make whatever it is better. I’ll just keep my mouth shut. Better be safe than sorry.

  
When my turn is done, I brush against Jared’s back and slide my fingers across his skin. “She wants you in there. Now.” I whisper softly in his ear, closing my eyes briefly to maximize the scent of his hair. Tom is over at his table with about ten different cameras on it so I know he’s not paying any attention to us.

  
“Find out what’s wrong?” Jared turns and my hand falls to the side. I still don’t want to risk being caught touching him while we’re not in front of the camera, but I’m surprised that I’m not more concerned. Maybe it’s because we’re in the studio and I feel pretty safe here. But still… I don’t wanna be openly uh… none straight in front of my friends yet. That doesn’t mean I still don’t miss the warmth of his body at my fingertips.

  
“Nope. Any luck with Tom?” I ask and Jared shakes his head as he walks towards the room. We give each other small grins and a few seconds later I hear Missy and him talking. Their voices are muffled and I’m a little surprised… I kinda thought Missy was closer to me than Jared. It’s not that I mind, though. I can actually kinda see how she can trust him so easily. Plus, he’s a good listener. He’s just plain good overall.

  
I get dressed quickly, first slipping out of my jeans and underwear, and then putting on the damn jock strap, thigh pads, shoulder pads, struggle to get on these tight as hell pants, and struggle even more to get the jersey over my head and tucked in. I tie up the string around my waist and look at myself in the mirror. I remind myself of every stupid jock I used to hate in high school. Although… I do look kinda good in these pants.

  
“Damn. Those are tight.” Jared tries to mask his hunger with a smile, but his eyes are glued to my backside and I bend over a little, just for show.

  
“Oh you mean these?” I ask as I run my fingers over my ass, gripping the flesh hard. “Yeah, you could say that.”

  
Jared licks his lips. We’ve been walking around with our shirts off and I can see that his nipples have stiffened already. I smile to myself, liking the way I can make him aroused and toss him the uniform. “Hurry up. And don’t get too excited.” I tell him. “Otherwise you’ll never be able to fit into the jockstrap.”

  
I can tell by his sheepish look that it’s already too late. I roll my eyes, shake my head, and walk away so he can control himself. There are two random lockers that Tom has set up with towels and football helmets in them. A lone bench is in front of them, just like the benches in the gym. This set up is stupid. How do we go from romantic as hell baths to crappy football? Oh well. It’s not my photo shoot. I’m just the dumb male model who gets paid to look pretty. Not that I’m complaining or anything. They pay pretty well too so I really shouldn’t say shit. And I got to meet…. Wow. Damn he looks good in those pants. The silver material stretches over his legs and is skin tight. I’m surprised he can even breathe in the thing, let alone move.

  
“Okay guys, let’s hurry this shit up.” Tom barks at us, motioning with his hand for us to get the ball rolling. We pose first in the full uniform, our arms around each other’s shoulder and grinning like we just ‘won the big game’ as Tom put it. We move closer to each other and lean our foreheads together, grasping the back of each other’s necks and filling our eyes with a lust that is partly for the camera and partly kinda real, which is making this whole fantasy harder and harder to get away from. Jared leans in and puckers his lips like he’s gonna kiss me. I hesitate and pull away just in time and damn, I thought we were close when we did stuff in our apartments, but I think he was really gonna go for it.

  
He pulls back and I can tell he’s a little hurt by the look in his eyes. I open my mouth to say something, but Tom is telling us to lose the jersey shirts but leave the padding. We take a couple more pictures in just the pants, posing in various positions.

  
I don’t know why Jared keeps trying to kiss me, but I wish he’d stop. His lips land on my cheek and I can’t even bare to look at him because of that hurt expression that I know is there. When he tries for the third time, after we’re just in our fucking jock straps and have been groping each other for the last five minutes, I shoot him a glare telling him to cut it the hell out.

  
I swear I see tears form in his eyes. Shit. I grab two towels and toss one to Jared while I wrap the other one around my waist. “Hey Tom, we’re gonna need to take five.”

  
“What? Why?” He asks. “You guys are doin okay… not great, but okay.”

  
“Just…” I grab Jared by the hand and start to walk towards the make-up room, which I know is empty because Missy left about ten minutes ago. “Reload or something. We’ll be right back.”

  
I think Tom’s too pissed off and preoccupied to even begin to think about why Jared and I have to talk privately, which is a good thing because I’m so not about to explain this to him.

  
Jared lowers his eyes as I close the door behind us. He looks embarrassed as hell and that’s the last thing I want, but I’m a little peeved too. “What the hell is that out there?”

  
“I’m sorry… I just… don’t know what I was thinking.” He mumbles softly, still not looking at me.

  
“Damn Jared… don’t… just don’t do that. I don’t know what you’re thinking either and --”

  
He cuts me off and drops his head against the wall, staring at the ceiling. “Why don’t you want me? Am I that really unkissable or something?”

  
I shake my head at him in disbelief, trying to comprehend the words that just came out of his mouth. What the hell is he talking about? I walk over to him slowly and when I reach his body, I tilt his head forward with my thumb and slide my other hand around to his back. I move in, my nose nuzzling his first, and close my eyes. “Why are you so stupid?” I whisper, right before our lips meet so softly that I can barely feel the kiss. It’s light and intimate, no tongue and as gentle as a fucking butterfly but damn does it still knock the air right out of my lungs and make my knees go completely weak.

  
“Well now you’re just kissing me cuz you have to.” Jared mumbles right against my mouth and at first I think he’s joking and that we’re about to kiss again, but when his lips don’t seek mine, I know I’m wrong.

  
Sighing, I pull back and grab his hand into mine. “Look. I’m sorry. I just don’t want… this.” I motion between us. “To be out there.” I tell him, glancing towards the door. “I sound like a chick but I just think… kissing is personal and I don’t want it plastered on the front page of a magazine. It’s private. It should be just for us.”

  
“Oh.”

  
“Is that okay?” I ask, searching his eyes that finally meet mine.

  
His mouth forms into a frown. “I am really stupid.”

  
I smile and link my fingers with his. “Shut up. No you’re not. I shoulda told you sooner or something. Just didn’t think you’d try to kiss me in front of the camera.”

  
“I’m sorry.” He tells me and squeezes my hand.

  
I shake my head. “Don’t be. And if you want, we’ll go back to my place and make out all night, cool?”

  
He smiles a little at that. “Only if I want, huh? What about you? Don’t you wanna make out?”

  
“Jay, I’d pin you down right here and kiss you till you couldn’t breathe if I could. But I’m pretty sure Tom would kill us if we spend one more second in this room.”

  
I get a full blown grin at that and we stumble out of the room, laughing a little and trying to act cool in front of Tom, who squints at us as we walk by him.

  
“Oh I’m so glad your schedules have opened up to fit me in.” He mutters sarcastically and rolls his eyes.

  
“Just take your pictures.” I tell him, then take off my towel, roll it and snap Jared’s thigh with the end.

  
“Ow! Asshole!” Jared hisses and my laughter stops when he tackles me to the bench, lays over me, and sucks my nipple into his mouth as he palms the crotch of my jock strap. I moan loudly and turn towards the flashing camera, thinking that they can have this but Jared’s lips… they’re my private show.

  
**

  
“So…”

  
“So… what?” Jared asks, shifting his bag to the other shoulder and taking the last sip of coffee before throwing away the styrofoam cup into a trashcan.

  
Our fingers bump together and I swallow hard. I really want to hold his hand, but we’re in the middle of down town, a couple of blocks away from my apartment. It would be so easy to just pull his hand in mine and walk down the street, not caring what anyone thinks and not giving a damn if they see us. I’m not sure how I’d feel if we ran into one of my friends though. How the hell would I explain that? I’m falling for this dude that I have to do gay photo shoots with. Yeah. Great. Perfect.

  
I still want to hold his hand. But I’m not gay. I don’t feel gay. My voice is still deep and I don’t flail my hands when I talk. I don’t wear lip gloss and I don’t pluck my eyebrows. I like cars and yeah, some chick flicks are okay but I prefer action. I don’t like anything by Cher and really, I don’t think that I’m acting gayish… and even if I was, maybe Jared is worth it.

  
“Dude, you okay?” He asks, eyebrows crinkle with concern and his fingertips grab around my wrist, drawing me back from my thoughts.

  
“Yeah. Sorry.” I shake my head and grab his hand in mine before I start to walk down the street again and before I can change my mind. Screw everyone who might have a problem with it. A small smile forms on his lips and he gives me a little squeeze with his long fingers. This is nice. “So did you find out what was with Missy n’Tom today?”

  
Nodding, Jared stops a minute to look in the window of a shop. “Yep.”

  
“And?”

  
He shrugs and turns to glance at me. “And ya know, Missy doesn’t know what to think.”

  
“About what?”

  
Jared grins and tilts his head back with a huge smile on his face. “Dude, how do you not even know what’s going on in the studio and I do?”

  
“Whatever.” I pull on his hand so we can start walking again. “Just fill me in.”

  
“I don’t know… it’s kinda personal and Missy did tell me, I mean… she might not want me tellin her secrets.”

  
“I’ve known those two longer than you have!”

  
He laughs and shakes his head. My stomach does this weird thing when he starts to rub small circles on the back of my hand. I really don’t wanna get hard in the middle of the street where there’s little kids and grandmas walkin around, but damn he makes it difficult not to.

  
“I wonder why Missy would tell me and not you…” Jared says and pulls me closer so a lady pushing a stroller can get by us easier.

  
“Cuz I don’t ask.” I tell him simply.

  
“Well that explains why you don’t know the juicy stuff.” He smiles and I’m so close to his face I lean in to give him a short soft kiss on the lips.

  
“Can you just please tell me before I kill you?”

  
His eyebrows shoot up and from his expression, I can see he’s pleased about the kiss. “Oh and now the threats start, huh?”

  
I shoot him a glare.

  
“Okay, okay. So Missy’s mad that Tom is upset because the girl that he was seeing dumped him or something.”

  
“Yeah? So? Why would Missy care?”

  
“Because…” Jared squeezes his hand around mine and starts walking again. “If he didn’t really like her, then he wouldn’t care about some random chick and since he’s makin a big deal about it, Missy’s kinda hurt.”

  
I shake my head, trying to understand. “I still don’t see why… oh. Wait. Missy likes Tom?”

  
Jared sighs. “Duh, Jen.”

  
“How the hell did I not know about this?”

  
“I think sometimes you live under a rock.” Jared giggles and starts up the stairs to my apartment building.

  
I frown, thinking that he might be right. “Well you better start tellin me stuff. You can’t know something and not tell me.”

  
“Oh yeah?” Jared smiles. “Isn’t that kinda what couples do?”

  
“… maybe.”

  
“So…” His eyes are glittering as he pushes the door open, our hands still latched. “Are we like, together now?”

  
I give a little shrug. “Maybe. If that’s not weird or something.”

  
“Is all this just to get me to tell you more secrets?” He asks and our hands finally break apart once we’re in my apartment.

  
“No. Idiot.” I tell him dryly. “Is that all Missy said?”

  
“Yeah, pretty much.” He says as he picks up my mail. I have no idea why, but Jared likes to look through my mail, just looking at the covers of envelops probably to see if there’s anything interesting. I find it kinda cute. “Well, she thinks that I heart you.”

  
“You heart me?”

  
“That’s what she thinks.” Jared repeats. “She kinda has me figured out, knows that I’m crushing on you.”

  
I break out into a smile. “You have a crush on me?”

  
A warm heat travels up Jared’s neck and into his cheeks. “I think no more talking for today. I seem to remember something about you promising to make out with me after the shoot.”

  
I don’t know how we get there, but a few seconds later we’re sprawled out on the couch with me laying on top of him and we’re struggling for air between warm kisses that seep into our lungs like sticky golden honey, coating every breath we try to take. His whimpers and short moans make the best kind of shivers shoot up and down my spine and he caresses them away as his hands find their way under my shirt. Our tongues play together, sliding against each other in first my mouth and then in Jared’s, trying to decide which mouth is warmer, wetter, and exploring new territory that is invaded with such a powerful pleasure we just can’t stop. He bites my bottom lip lightly, teasing me until we both break out in a smile and then dive into each other all over again, swimming deeply in this passion of heated lust that is filling our heads and dicks all too fast. Jared spreads his legs, typical but needed, and we lock lips tightly over each other as our tongues push and flick over and over and over until we’re both cumming in our jeans like teenage boys.

  
Kissing is so not overrated and we start again until hours in the day become night, lips swollen and eyes tired, but we kiss and kiss again until we fall asleep with our ruby slicked mouths still pressed into each other for hours more.

 

 **Jared's POV**

  
Kissing Jensen isn’t healthy. Seriously, I’m not kidding. I think I might be at risk every time he lays one on me. Doesn’t matter if it’s a short quick peck or one of those deep long kisses that make my toes curl in my shoes. I might need to see my doctor because every time we kiss my heart stops and my lungs freeze in my chest. I forget how to breathe and I might seriously die from lack of oxygen, but damn it would be the best way to go.

  
And here his lips come again but I think I might just have to risk it.

  
Fuck he’s a good kisser and I would have some doubts about my skill but the way he whimpers when I do _that_ with my tongue… let’s just say that the noises he makes does wonders for my ego.

  
Right now we’re at his place again, on the couch, and deeply involved in each other’s mouths. We’ve spent the last half an hour just experimenting with our tongues, seeing what will make the other squirm or moan or break away from the kiss because yeah, it can get that intense.

  
We came once in our jeans the other night, sharing our first deep kiss that was just… wow. Never have I had a kiss like that before. Then last night we almost made it, but ended up getting off in our boxers. I think we were both a little disappointed, wanting to feel skin on skin as we kissed and came but neither of us could hold out. We slept naked though, which was pretty damn sweet and the next morning we had strawberry poptarts and coffee in my bed, watched shitty morning television, and constantly touched until we were going at it again in the shower with cum eventually dripping all over our hands as we fucked the holes we created in our palms for each other.

  
I think we’re about to jerk each other off again when Jensen surprises me and starts to move down, his mouth kissing and biting at my neck, then my collarbone, and now my chest. We’ve done this plenty at the studio and even though it feels real good, it’s probably not as exciting as it should be. I think that’s why we’ve been kissing so much on the mouth for the last couple of days because Jensen was right; this is nice to have just for us and no one else.

  
And this feels good, his lips on my body, wanting me and his hands roaming over my hips and waist, smoothing up my skin as his fingertips press into my body. He stops abruptly though and it takes me a few seconds for my mind to catch up.

  
“This going too fast?” He asks, his voice husky and deep.

  
I don’t know what he wants me to say and I’m searching my brain. Yes or no. Come on, Jared. Think.

  
His plump, salvia slicked lips turn into a frown and he sighs sadly while shifting to the side of me. “I guess that’s a yes, huh?”

  
“No! I mean…” Clearing my throat, I reach down and run my fingers through his hair. “It’s not going too fast. This is just a new thing and I don’t… fuck. I mean I don’t know how to do it, ya know? Like I’m so used to being the dude and making the first move but this is kinda nice. We both gotta work through it and figure it out.”

  
I don’t know how Jensen does it, but his eyes actually look sad. “You sure this is worth figuring out?”

  
“Well I don’t know.” I tell him, moving up on the couch a little. “If this is just a quick fuck to you then yeah, maybe it’s not worth it.”

  
We stare at each other, our gaze intense and serious, no room for lies and dishonesty, but only truth and maybe some uncertainty that is clear enough for us to realize what’s happening between us.

  
He grabs my hand and pushes off of me a little. “You know this isn’t just some random fuck, Jay. Dude, what the hell? I thought two days ago you we’re calling us a couple n’shit. And now…”

  
Jensen physically looks hurt. Like I just punched him in the jaw or something. Seeing him like this makes my stomach twist into these knots of pain that are so tight hours would be spent trying to unravel them.

  
“And now we’re having these stupid doubts.” He continues. My fingers immediately find his and even though this is a crappy conversation that literally came out of no where, our hands start to play again.

  
“It’s not doubts, Jen.”

  
“Then what is it?”

  
I shake my head, trying to find the right words. “It’s just fuckin… risk. That’s all it is. If you were a chick or I was a chick, then we wouldn’t even be talking about this.”

  
He shrugs. “I guess not. I just wasn’t planning on this. Wasn’t planning on it at all.”

  
“What?” I smile a little. “Going to a random job and falling for the other model?”

  
A small grin forms slightly on his lips. “Yeah. Male model.”

  
“Well, Jen.” I sigh. “I’m sorry I don’t have a pussy.”

  
“Me too.” He replies softly.

  
“I don’t think it would be the pussy I’d be falling for.”

  
“Yeah.” He nods, eyeing my arms and my flat stomach that’s peeking out from my t-shirt. “I think I like you just the way you are.”

  
“Dick included?”

  
He nods again, this time with more confidence. “Definitely.”

  
“You sure about that?” I ask. “I don’t wanna do this if you’re not sure.”

  
“Jay, it’s not that I’m not sure.” He tells me, some frustration in his tone. “It’s just a little scary and I’m not used to that. I’m used to being in control. I haven’t been with anyone in awhile--”

  
“And what? You’re not ready yet?”

  
“No! Jesus Jay. I want to be with you.”

  
“So then why are we still talking about this?”

  
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not sure if you wanna be with me.”

  
“Oh yeah.” I roll my eyes, grabbing at his arm to make him come towards me. “You’re forcing me to make out with you and be with you and come over here and touch you. Yeah, I don’t think this is gonna work out.” I’m smirking and I know it, but hopefully he’ll see my point.

  
“Shut up.” He growls and crawls back on top of me. Our lips meet in a heated kiss that is filled with passion to the brim. I think talking about losing each other is making us want more. “Just… shut up.” And we kiss again deeply. “Please just shut up.” He whispers again and now all I can hear is the smacking of our tongues together and I drown in the beautiful noise that is just us kissing loudly and messy and I start to smile as he fumbles with my belt buckle.

  
We stop thinking and sink into each other. Eventually, our clothes come all the way off and we end up on the floor of the living room, still kissing and our hands still roaming. I never really thought about how much of a turn on a dude’s muscles can be, but Jensen’s are strong and tight and he can hold me down or pull me up or basically do whatever the hell he wants with me whenever the hell he wants.

  
“I think…” Jensen swallows thickly. “Fuck, Jay. I think…” His fingers grasp around my shaft tightly and start to move up and down slowly. “I think I want my mouth to finish what my fingers are doin.”

  
“Fuck…” I hiss, letting my eyes fall shut as he grips tighter. “You sure about that, Jen? That’s kinda… it’s a big step.”

  
He smiles, lips glistening from the swipe of his tongue. “I think I’m ready.”

  
“Me too.” I tell him, a little too quickly but I don’t give a shit. “I think I wanna take that step with you. Like… at the same time. Now.”

  
“We better hurry.” Jensen gasps. “Cuz I’m gonna cum soon.”

  
“Ohgodmetoo.” I moan in one long sigh. We start to scramble and he ends up under me and I over him, my legs spread over his head with my ass high in the air. His dick is in my face and his scent that is normally musky and sweet is even deeper here. Leaning in, I eye his meat that is hard and begging and I lick my lips, dipping my head even further to kiss along the head, flicking my tongue over the shaft, and finally grab him straight so I can start to suck properly.

  
And suddenly my whole dick is in a warm wet field of heaven as he takes me into his mouth. His hands are constantly roaming over my ass and he yanks my hips down so fast that my mind can’t keep up with the overwhelming blanket of pleasure that’s engulfing my body.

  
I hiss and stop playing with Jensen long enough to concentrate on every movement of his tongue that is wrapping around me and stroking me into an orgasm that’s coming way too soon. Jensen humps his hips up and lets out a low grunt, letting me know that he wants to feel this too. I focus and close my eyes, wanting this to be good for him, needing for this to be just as good as he’s making for me. He moans when I suck him between my lips and he thrusts towards my mouth in urgency. The taste of him is too much. It turns me on so fucking fast that I’m cumming before I know it, before I have a chance to warn him and only a few seconds later I have a mouth full of Jensen’s cum that I don’t quite know what to do with. Some of it dribbles from the corner of my lip and the rest I shove down my throat. That’s gonna take some getting used to.

  
“Jay, man…” Jensen groans softly after we slump off of each other. “You okay?”

  
I lift my head and give him a weak smile. “That was good.”

  
He laughs and falls back down on the carpet, spreading his arms wide and taking a deep breath. “Yeah, that was pretty damn good.”

  
We stay silent for a few minutes, letting our heartbeat get back to normal and I don’t know about Jensen, but my dick is still twitching from the intensity. He clears his throat first and tells me softly to, “come here.”

  
I crawl up to where he lay and press my lips to his. “Dude… we just did a sixty-nine.”

  
“Oh god.” He groans. “I think we’re officially gay now.”

  
***

  
“Jay!”

  
“What?”

  
“What the hell is this?”

  
“What’s what?”

  
“Just…” He hesitates. “Come in the kitchen!”

  
I flush the toilet and wonder what the hell Jensen is talking about. We're at my place now and just had some more oral lovin goin on in my bedroom. It was even better than yesterday when we got off in Jensen's living room and I'm starting to get used to the taste of his cum in my mouth. “What the hell are you… dude. Are you going through my mail?”

  
“You go through mine.”

  
“I do?”

  
“Yeah. And I wanted to see if you got a check from the studio but instead I found this.” Jensen holds up a magazine and I look closer. Oh. It’s _our_ magazine. “You subscribed to get it delivered?” He asks.

  
I look to floor, too embarrassed to give him any amount of eye contact. “Umm… yeah.”

  
“Why would you do that?” He asks, completely baffled and flips it open to the center. My eyes find his feet and I glance up his tall body, starting with his strong legs and thick thighs, then his white boxer briefs clinging to his hips, small waist with abs tight under his skin, and perfect chest and nipples that make me salivate. I stop at his lips and stare. I know if I even attempt to look into those big green eyes framed with dark lashes, I might just melt.

  
“Jay?”

  
“Hmm?”

  
“Why do you want this crap in your house?”

  
“It’s not crap, Jen.” I tell him, finally meeting his eyes. “Well, at least not the part with us.”

  
“Yeah right…” He murmurs, flipping through it. “Ew. You can call for male services. Disgusting.” The crinkle of his nose is too damn cute and I can help but to giggle at him.

  
“Disgusting, huh? You just got served in my bed a few hours ago and I’m pretty sure that you were into it.”

  
“Yeah, but that was with you.” He glances up. “Not some random person that I don’t know.”

  
I walk over to him and my arms immediately fall around his stomach. “You didn’t know me a couple weeks ago.”

  
He turns and places a small kiss on my shoulder before he nuzzles my neck. “Yeah and it’s not my fault that you’re all cute n’shit, making me wantin to be with you.” His voice is soft against my skin, so soft that I can hardly hear him but wouldn’t dare ask him to repeat something that was obviously hard to admit.

  
“Well I’m a fun guy.” I smile, smoothing my hands around to his back.

  
He nods and moves even closer to me. “Really fun.”

  
I give him a kiss on the top of his head before I tilt his chin up so he’ll look at me. “I like bein with you too, Jen. It’s not a bad thing that we make each other happy.”

  
“Yeah… I know.” He leans in and our lips meet for a chaste kiss. “I just… being happy never seems to be a long term thing. There’s always something to screw it up.”

  
I want to tell him that no, not this time. I can feel it in my bones that this is gonna last and that all the hurt and disappointment that we’ve both experienced in the past won’t creep its way in to this, to this blooming relationship where sheets of metal and brick protect us from all the shitty stuff out there. I want to tell him that we’re different from any past pain that we had to go through and that as long as we have each other, nothing will get us down and nothing can stop us from being together. I want to tell him all of these things and he’s blinking at me, waiting for me to say something to comfort him but I don’t even know if I believe it myself. If I say these words out loud, will I jinx it and that’ll be it? It’ll be over before we can even get started.

  
I open my mouth to speak but not much comes out. “Jen… this… I think…”

  
“I know, I know.” He sighs. “You’re the one that just got hurt in your last relationship. I shouldn’t even be saying anything.”

  
“Jensen…” I grab his head in my hands and pull him close. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

  
It’s stupid, but that seems to work and I get a smile from him before our lips lock and tongues find their way in my mouth to play. Again, I’m drowned in the sweet noises of our lips smacking together as we break apart only to quickly meet again.

  
I think that we’re about to get it on once more right here in the kitchen when my phone rings. Moaning in protest, I keep kissing him until the third ring and Jensen pulls away from me.

  
“You better answer it.”

  
“Don’t want to.” I tell him, my mouth in search of his again but he laughs and turns his head.

  
“You better.” He says and slaps my ass lightly. “What if it’s your mom or something?”

  
At the mention of my mom, my chest tightens and palms go sweaty. I have an almost naked dude in my kitchen, who I can’t stop touching and looking at, and knowing how much my parents would disapprove… damn. That’s not a fun thought.

  
I don’t think Jensen sees me tense as I walk into the living room to get my cell phone and I just hope that he didn’t. As I’m about to flip my phone to answer it, I hear Jensen’s phone ring from inside his pocket of his coat that’s hanging by the door. He shoots me a questioned glance as he grabs it and shrugs his shoulders.

  
“Hello?”

  
“Jared? Hey it’s Missy.”

  
“Oh hey Missy, what’s up?” I smile at the sound of her voice and make myself comfortable on the couch.

  
“I gotta favor.” She says hopefully.

  
“Sure, shoot.”

  
“Well… don’t say anything but I think… I think Tom might ask me out for tomorrow night!” She squeals into the phone and I actually have to pull it away from my ear.

  
I laugh and shake my head. “That’s great, Miss. So what’s in it for me?”

  
“Umm. I’m usually the babysitter and if we go out then…”

  
“You need someone to watch his girls?”

  
“Kinda.”

  
I glance at Jensen and he’s smiling into the phone with his eyes glittering. I wonder who he’s talking to. “Yeah, sure no problem.”

  
“Really? Yes! God, thank you so much Jared!”

  
“Yep, so tomorrow night, huh? After the photo shoot?”

  
“Yeah, I think that’s what he’s planning. I just wanted to make sure I could get someone to baby-sit if he really does ask me out or maybe if he doesn’t I’ll just ask him out because I’m so sick of waiting…” She rambles on for another minute before we tell each other good bye and that we’d see each other tomorrow. It’s only after I click my phone shut and watch Jensen do the same when I wonder how old Tom’s girls are.

  
“So who was that?” Jensen asks as he flops down on the couch next to me.

  
“Missy.”

  
“Oh yeah?”

  
“Yep, who were you talking to?” I ask.

  
“Tom.”

  
“What’d he have to say? We still on for tomorrow’s shoot?”

  
“Yep, he needs a babysitter for tomorrow night.”

  
I smile to myself. Missy will be pleased.

  
“And you’re coming with me.”

  
I nod. “Yeah, I figured. Hey by the way… he has two girls, right?”

  
“Yeah.”

  
“And how old are they?”

  
“Oh.” Jensen smiles. “It’ll be a long night. Two twin five month old girls should definitely make for an interesting evening since we have so much experience n’all.” He says sarcastically.

  
“Whatever.” I lean over and give him a kiss, settling into his chest and grabbing the remote control for some serious channel surfing. “There’s two of us. How hard could it be to watch two babies for a couple hours?”

  
Jensen just laughs.

 

 **Jensen's POV**

  
“Dude, chill out. It’ll be like takin care of a puppy or something.”

  
“Uh. Try ‘or something’ ya genius. Two babies ain’t gonna be anything like takin care of two puppies.” I shake my head earnestly. “One time I was over at Tom’s place and he had to hit the pisser or something. All of a sudden both of ‘em start crying and I couldn’t do anything but stare. I felt like a complete moron.”

  
“Aww… my poor Jensen.” Jared pretends to pout and moves closer to me. I lean against the wall outside of the studio and glance at the door briefly. I don’t want to go in yet, especially since Jared is nuzzling my neck and running the pad of his thumb across my cheekbone.

  
“Then I started running around, ya know… trying to find something to distract them with, like a toy or whatever, and I ended up tripping over my own two feet and almost fell right into the dirty diaper bin.” I frown, closing my eyes as his thumb moves closer. “I don’t know why the hell I agreed to do this.”

  
Jared smiles a little and ghosts his mouth over mine. “Because this time there will be two of us. One baby for me and one baby for you. Trust me, Jen. It’ll be fine. I won’t let you fall into any poop.” He laughs and finally gives me the light kiss that I’ve been waiting for.

  
“I said that I _almost_ fell in the diaper pail. Almost, Jared. Almost.”

  
He laughs again, this time harder and deeper as he moves off of me. Turning, he grabs the knob and glances back. “You ready?”

  
I clear my throat and shake my shoulders. It’s game face time. “Definitely.”

  
The smell of old coffee hits me as I walk into the studio. In the corner, Missy’s ass is straight up in the air as she rummages through her makeup case and Tom, who’s sitting at his desk with a camera in hand, is checking her out. I probably should be checking her out too, but the only ass that I'm interested in is of one male model. Jared smiles slyly and throws a knowingly look my way when he catches Tom's gaze.

  
“Hey how’s everyone doin?” I say loudly, announcing our arrival and that snaps Tom out of his trance pretty damn fast. His face turns red as he realizes that he might have been caught and just gives us both a small wave.

  
Missy stands up at the sound of my voice and a huge smile takes over her mouth as she turns to see us. “Hey guys!” She shouts happily and runs to fall in Jared’s arms, then mine. “How’s it goin?”

  
“Pretty good.” Jared answers for the both of us. “How ‘bout you, darlin'?”

  
“Great.” She smiles a goofy grin and it’s like her and Jared are sharing some secret as they look at each other. I roll my eyes and almost wait for them to start giggling like school girls when I turn my attention to the set up for this week.

  
“Oh man. What the… Tom, you’re kidding me here, right?”

  
He laughs a little at my reaction. “Hey, don’t blame the messenger.”

  
“How ‘bout I kill the messenger and then kill whoever’s dumb idea this was to begin with?”

  
Tom slides his chair out from his desk and grabs two envelopes. He walks over to Jared and I, then gives us each one. “Well if you kill me then you won’t get this money cuz your ass will be in jail.”

  
“What’s this?”

  
“No idea. The magazine sent it over this morning along with the set design. I assume it's some more bank.”

  
Jared rips his open and I watch as his eyes scan it. “It’s another check.” He smiles. “And it’s a damn good one.”

  
I take his in my hand and look at it. Wow. This could pay rent for a couple months. Nice.

  
“Okay.” I nod contently. “What’re we wearin today?”

  
Tom sighs and avoids eye contact. I hate when he does this. “See that’s the other thing… remember how we do those side shots a couple weeks ago, with no clothes?”

  
“Uh yeah…”

  
“That’s gonna kinda be the whole shoot today. No clothes and I’ll be shootin all of the photos from the side.”

  
“No dicks in the pics though, right Tom?” Jared asks.

  
“Nope. And if I manage to get in a ball or two, I can edit them out.”

  
“Great.” I tell them. “You can chop our balls off.”

  
Missy laughs and claps her hands excitedly. “Okay boys, strip and then it’s glitter time!”

  
Jared and I both groan together. I can tell it's gonna be a long couple of hours just because of the crazy set up. There is a disco ball set up by the wall that is draped in black heavy cloth and Tom says that it’s supposed to look like a club or something. The only thing that Jared and I get to wear is sticky glitter shit all over that Missy smears across our chests, back, neck, arms, and face. Other than that, we’re naked and Tom says that our profiles will look awesome and the sparkle will really set off our silhouettes, whatever the hell that means. By the time Missy is done manhandling us and Tom gets the lighting right, Jared and I look like two sweaty twinks with a glitter explosion all over us.

  
“I feel like if I move I’m gonna crack.” Jared mumbles and I have to admit, he does look kinda pretty. I think Missy even put lip gloss on him.

  
“Dude, why are your lips shiny?” I smirk.

  
Jared glares at me. “Missy! You forgot to put whatever gunk that’s on my lips on Jensen!”

  
I start to laugh until his hands are around my waist and he’s trying to plant a messy one on me. “Never mind, I’ll just give him some of mine.”

  
“Jeez, Jared. Stop or they’re gonna figure us out.” I hiss at him, pushing his sticky chest away.

  
“Shit. Yeah.” He stops and bows his head a little. We both agreed that whatever this thing is between us, is gonna stay just between us until we can figure out what the hell is going on. And that means no grab ass in front of our friends.

  
Missy walks back into the room with another tube of pink gummy liquid. “Oh I have a special color for Jensen.” She grins.

  
Before I know it, I have a strawberry cream shiny lip gloss all over my mouth and even though it tastes pretty okay, I still want to get this whole thing over with so I can jump in a nice warm shower.

  
“Hey this glitter crap kinda tastes like fruity bubble gum.” Jared exclaims, licking his arm.

  
“Jay, would you stop eating your makeup! Now I gotta do a touch up!” Missy rolls her eyes. Five minutes later she’s turning us around slowly to make sure she hasn’t missed a spot before she leaves. Jared and I are just in towels at this point and I’m glad Tom has the heater blasting or otherwise I’d be even less comfortable than I already am.

  
When she's done, she gives us both a quick kiss on the cheek and whispers, “See you tonight!” and then goes to talk with Tom before she leaves. I think that it’s kinda funny that Tom and Missy are trying to be all quiet about their date tonight when Jared and I are practically doing the same thing.

  
“Hey.” Jared whispers in my ear and I jump a little. I was too busy staring at the lovebirds across the room smiling shyly at each other, confiriming their plans for tonight. “Sorry.” He apologizes when he realizes that he startled me. “I just wanna let you know that I’m pretty much hard for you already… just by fucking looking at you… all glossed up… God, Jensen you have no idea… so yeah, if I um can’t ya know… _concentrate_ today then it’s so not my fault.”

  
“Oh yeah?” And that’s all I can struggle to get out with Jared talking into my ear, standing close behind me, his hot breath teasing at my already sensitive skin.

  
“Yep. You’re totally distracting and all I wanna do is get you into bed and lick all this damn glitter off until I can taste only Jensen again because damn Jen, you taste fucking damn good.”

  
My cock twitches underneath the towel and I swallow thickly with a loud gulp. “Only if I could return the favor.” I say back to him.

  
“I think I could live with that…”

  
I hear a door slam shut and I look up. Missy is gone and Tom is telling us to get our skinny butts over here and if we get any glitter on any of his cameras, he’ll serve us our asses for lunch.

  
“Promise?” Jared teases. “I’ll take Jensen’s on a silver platter.”

  
I punch him in the shoulder while he and Tom laugh and I realize that I’m grinning way too hard at Jared. Not in the friendly way either, the I-want-you-to-never-leave-me way and I try to get my smile to relax, not that it’s all that easy.

  
Tom starts to point at spots for where he wants us to stand. “Okay, so Jensen you’ll be leaning on the wall first while Jared is… ya know. Just remember that the lights will be behind you guys today so you gotta make sure I see your profiles. I’ll be taking close ups too, so don’t freak out... and what else… oh yeah.” He jogs over to his desk and brings this white feathery thing with him. “Jared, put these on first.”

  
He throws it and Jared catches it easily. “Wings?” He asks, his nose crinkling.

  
“I don’t know man.” Tom shrugs. “Maybe it’s a gay thing but that’s what they sent over. Jensen will wear them when you guys switch places. You want me to turn on any music or anything?”

  
Jared glances at me and we discuss it in our eyes before he turns to Tom. “Yeah, I think this time we’ll take some… distraction.” He says as he slips the wings on, which are all wire and pure white feathers, looking like they’re straight from a little girl’s angel Halloween costume.

  
“So…” Jared leans in close to me. “How do I look?”

  
I glance up and down his body. “Pretty damn shiny.”

  
“Is that it?” He whispers, spreading my legs with his and dipping his head down.

  
I bite back a moan. “Damn, Jay… please don’t start. You already know what you do to me.”

  
“Mmmm…” Jared whimpers. “I think I forgot. Might need to show me again.”

  
“Stop.” I whisper again, not at all even a little bit serious, but then the music turns on and suddenly Jared pulls away just in time for Tom to appear to the side of us.

  
“You guys ready?” He shouts over the blare of drums and guitar.

  
We both nod and Tom points to both of his eyes with his index and middle finger and then points at him. This means he wants us to look at him for the first couple of shots and then he’ll dim the lights. Jared and I pose with our lips pouty and shimmering and we suck in our cheeks a little to get the effect. Tom gives us a thumbs up behind his camera so we continue to go at it, changing where we look and I stroke my hand along his cheek and he presses his lips to my forehead. 

  
Tom gets really close to us as he starts snapping pictures, zooming into our faces and dancing around us from the side. Jared suddenly stops and stares into my eyes, looking almost hard and determined. I squint a little, trying to get what he’s telling me and by the second, his gaze is making me trust whatever he’s about to do. I nod slightly, silently telling him that he can do what he wants to and I’ll be okay with it.

  
He leans in gradually, tilting his head and I know he hasn’t forgotten the conversation about keeping our kisses private but his lips are so close to mine that I don’t pull away. Gently, he grasps my bottom lip between his teeth and tugs slowly until Tom gets the picture. He lets go and I smile, wanting to kiss him so damn bad, but knowing that I can’t because Tom will have that moment between us that we’re not ready to share yet.

  
Jared gives me a wink as he starts to kiss down my neck and I think to myself, _here we go._ Tom holds up one finger though, telling us to give him a second as he adjusts the lighting. There’s a blue and purple glow behind us with the disco ball shooting rainbow colored darts of light all over our glistening bodies. Tom comes back around us and motions for us to drop our towels. I hesitate, only a little because we’ve done this before and Tom really goes out of his way to make us as comfortable as we can possibly get, so I throw the towel off to the side and quickly pull Jared close to me so at least his front is covered by my body.

  
We start to grind against each other and oh fuck, it’s not supposed to feel this good. I just can’t help it when I’m this close to Jared. It’s like my body takes over and doesn’t care where the hell I am, just as long as my dick is rubbing against his in the most pleasurable way ever. His mouth sucks in the skin above my collarbone and I let a moan escape my lips just because there’s no way in hell Tom can hear it over the music and I could care less if Jared hears me now. My hands trail across his huge back until my fingers are splayed over his ass like a fan and Jared presses harder into me, sucking eagerly at my neck and pushing back against my hands. I grab at his flesh and squeeze his ass, spreading him open just a little because Tom is to the side of us and can’t see exactly what I’m doing to him.

  
I can’t hear what he’s whimpering in my ear, but I sure as hell can feel the trembles that are traveling through his body. I run my hand through the heat of his ass and tease him with my fingertip, right against his hole, pressing ever so lightly, not pushing in at all, just running the pad of my finger all around it. God, I wish we were in my bed right now.

  
Tom whistles really loud and Jared is gone in my arms, but I turn towards the camera. Tom twirls his hand around, telling us we need to switch places and I gently push Jared off of me, rubbing small circles in his bicep and trying to get him to calm down because I can see the sweat pouring off his brow.

  
I take the wings off of him and slip them on, then turn both of us so Jared is leaning against the wall. He seems relieved to have something steady to hold his weight and I glance at Tom who already has the camera glued to his right eye. I press myself into him and feel really naked until his hands are over my ass, warming me, capturing me, and covering me in a way that clothes just don’t compare to. He leans down far to take my nipple into his mouth and I arch back in his grasp, biting my lip and hoping that Tom gets the shot. We relax a little and I start to move down his body now, biting his flat stomach as I go and stopping right above his crotch, my legs are spread as I squat down and I wonder how this looks… a twink angel giving a greek God a faux blow job.

  
Jared is growing thick under my breath and I don’t want to cop a feel, but I’m pretty sure he’s leaking precum just like I am. The thought makes me wild and I stand up fast, grinding up hard against him, touching along his arms as they hold me and start to grasp my ass and knead the skin. He’s starting to tease me, open me up just like I had done to him and I groan loudly into his neck. I can feel my orgasm move through me way too quickly and before I know it, I’m humping Jared’s dick and throwing my arm under one of his legs, bringing it up so we can get even closer. He thrusts hard against me too, but his head is leaning back on the wall with his eyes closed and his mouth dropped open a little. He looks like a slice of sparkling bliss and we’re too turned on to stop now. It’s too good and there’s tasty glitter everywhere and hard muscles and sweat and whimpers and it’s dark and the music is swarming my head and oh god his dick is so slicked up against mine.

  
Suddenly I’m cumming between our stomachs and I’m pretty sure as Jared squeezes his eyes shut and starts to pant, he’s cumming too. As the high comes down, I realize that we’re in the middle of the studio and Tom just witnessed that entire thing. Fuck. How can we be so stupid? Shit, this is bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. And really fucking embarrassing. There’s cum all over our abdomens and some splattered on my chest and I’m pretty sure that my dignity is in a puddle by my feet.

  
I think Tom is my new best friend though because all he does is throw us a towel and tells us to “clean it up.” I know he’ll rag on us when we’re not in such a compromising position but at least he’s cool enough to head to his darkroom and give us a couple minutes to ourselves.

  
I unglue myself from Jared and walk over to the stereo, turning it down quickly and then head back to him. He’s holding out the towel and hangs his head, looking just about as low as I feel. I sigh and turn away from him, just for a second because I can’t stand to see him look so sad after what we’ve done just felt so damn good. We’re still silent as he pulls my back into his chest and kisses my neck softly, quietly cleaning off my chest with the towel and his other arm is wrapped tightly around my waist, kinda like he knows what I’m thinking and doesn’t want me to go anywhere if it’s without him.

  
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, his breath tickling my ear. “I got too excited.”

  
I lean back into him and breathe deeply. “I did too.”

  
We’re swaying a little as we try to figure out what we should do now and it feels really good to be in his arms. Suddenly his lips are on mine and he tells me that he’ll go smooth things out with Tom and maybe he’ll let the two dudes that are horny for each other still watch his girls.

  
Turns out that Tom is an understanding kinda guy and is desperate for a babysitter so it works out. Jared tells me that if we do it for free, Tom will never bring up what happened again.

  
“Done deal.” I smile and pull on my jeans.

  
“I thought so.” Jared grins and yanks his t-shirt over his head. It sticks to his chest and I know he’s feeling as sticky as I am, but we just wanna get home. “So we gotta be there at eight o’clock sharp and he said that we both better be there cuz he doesn’t trust just you.”

  
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  
Jared shrugs and laughs. “I think he was referring to the almost shitty diaper inncodent, but I could be wrong.”

  
“Hmm.” I give him a cold glare. “I guess I’ll be showering by _myself_ when we get home.”

  
Jared immediately looks apologetic. “Oh come on, I was just kidding around!”

  
I shake my head, trying to be stern but bust out laughing as he chases me out of the studio and into the hallway. We spend the next five minutes with our lips locked together and smelling of the tootie fruity glitter that Jared just can’t seem to get enough of.

 **Jensen's POV**

  
Tom is gnawing on his bottom lip nervously as he shows me where the bottles are in the fridge. I now know where there are extra blankets, pacifiers, diapers, baby powder, booties, bibs, cotton, and random toys that I hope we don’t need because half this crap looks like a lotta work will be involved if we do have to actually use them.

  
Jared is making goofy faces and cooing at the babies, one laying on each of his arms as he holds them against his chest.

  
“Just remember that Ava likes her blankie when she goes to sleep and if you don't give Olivia her stuffed bunny before they go down, then she'll freak out and start screamin.” Tom rattles off.

  
My eyes go wide at that and I suck in a deep breath. Blankie. Bunny. Got it. “Now umm… don’t kill me but Ava’s in the purple and Olivia is in the pink, right?”

  
Tom briefly closes his eyes and shakes his head. He grabs a pen and starts to write on the pad of paper that’s on the fridge door. “O-l-i-v-i-a equals p-u-r-p-l-e and A-v-a equals p-i-n-k.”

  
“Yeah. That’s what I said.” I nod confidently even though I know I’m full of complete shit.

  
Tom gives me a doubtful glance. “Uh huh.”

  
Jared walks into the kitchen and hands me one of the babies. She’s in a pink nightie. This is Ava. “Hi Ava.” I tell her softly and Tom is one lucky dad because his kids really are cute as hell, both with big blue eyes and swirls of dark curly brown hair.

  
“Dude, Tom. We’ll be fine.” Jared tells him. “It’s only for a coupla hours and if you don’t get outta here in the next five seconds you’ll be late and Missy will be pissed off.”

  
“Okay, okay, okay.” Tom sighs and gathers his wallet and keys from the counter. “Just don’t use the oven or anything… and make sure you always keep a hand on them otherwise they’ll roll off the table when you’re changing them… and don’t--”

  
“Tom!” Jared interrupts and nods towards the door.

  
“—and don’t let Jensen near the diaper pail because he’ll freak out. Okay, I’m going! You have my cell number and I shouldn’t be back too late.”

  
“Bye!” I yell and head to the living room, bouncing my arms a little. Tom said the girls had a early nap so they’ll probably go down in about an hour, if not sooner.

  
Jared follows Tom to the door and peers out the peephole until he can’t see him anymore. “Daddy is a little crazy, huh?” He asks Olivia, who giggles and points to Jared’s nose. “Yes he is. Yes he is.” He says in baby talk.

  
I sit Ava on my lap and watch as Jared settles next to me, lifting Olivia and blowing on her stomach. “Hey Jay, you think Tom has us figured out?” I ask him, grinning as both babies smile up at Jared with glittering eyes.

  
“Naw, I don’t think so. Earlier at the studio he just said that he understood we got a little carried away and that was bound to happen sooner or later. He didn’t really seem to care that much.”

  
“Well that’s cool.” I say softly, glancing around Tom’s small apartment. He’s done some redecorating since I’ve been here last. The walls look creamier and even though some of his things are a little old and there’s a few toys piled in the corner, I can tell he tries to keep it up the best he can.

  
“Yep.” Jared agrees and yawns stiffly. I laugh softly because I can’t believe that he might fall asleep before the girls. Ava is squirming around in my arms so I grab a toy from the floor and dance it in front of her. She seems content with that and I switch her over to the other side of my lap. “So…” Jared cocks his head thoughtfully and adjusts Olivia in his arms too. “So like, was Tom married? How the hell did he end up bein a single father of two twin girls?”

  
I shrug my shoulder. “I don’t know how it happened. He was datin this girl all through high school and some in college. Thought he was gonna marry her and everything. She got prego, had the girls, and then up and left him when they were a couple weeks old. He hasn’t heard from her since. Personally, I think she was into drugs or some shit like that but I dunno…”

  
“That’s kinda sad.” Jared murmurs.

  
Nodding, I move my hand to the back of his neck and run my fingers through his brown locks. “Yeah, he was in pretty bad shape there for a minute. Missy stepped in and really helped him out. Never did understand why those two never hooked up.”

  
Jared leans into my touch and shifts closer to me. “Maybe he was afraid of ruining what they have, ya know? Like if it didn’t work out then he wouldn’t have her around anymore.”

  
“Yeah maybe.” I tell him. “I guess bein risky sometimes is better than playin it safe though.”

  
Jared breaks out into a grin. “Am I safe?”

  
I grab the nape of his neck and pull him towards me for a quick kiss. “You’re very, very risky.” I tell him softly and his lips meet mine gently. We’re interrupted with Ava squealing as the toy falls off my lap and she points at it with her eyes turning glassy with water. Quickly, I get it before she starts crying and Jared rubs my shoulder as I sit back again.

  
We lounge and play for awhile, laughing and talking all goofy like to the girls, until the air suddenly fills with a stink.

  
“Ew dude.” Jared crinkles his nose. “Is that yours or mine?”

  
I lift Ava up, turn her around, and give a big sniff. Let’s just say lesson learned because I’ve never gagged so hard in my life. Jared just laughs until he starts coughing and then gagging too until we both almost fall off the couch.

  
“Do you even know how to change a diaper?” I ask him hopefully and the look he gives me reads as a big fat no. Great.

  
“Jen, I’ll give you a million dollars if you just go change it right now.”

  
I smile and get off the couch, holding Ava away from me as I possibly can. “How about you help and I’ll settle for a kiss?”

  
“Fine.” Jared moans and stands up. He plants one on my mouth and we kiss quickly but it’s still enough to send a sweet shiver down my spine. I can still taste the glitter from earlier today on his lips and it makes me smile. I might have to ask Missy where she got that fruity sparkle stuff because Jared just couldn't get enough of it once we got home. Hell, sometimes when he moves just right I can see some of it still in his hair.

  
With a baby in each of our arms we walk down the hall into their room which is totally decked out pink. Pink bunnies, pink ballerinas, pink butterflies, pink curtains, pink blankets, and just plain pink foo foo shit everywhere. There was one yellow duck in the corner, sitting lonely by itself.

  
“Aw look babe. It’s your favorite color.” Jared teases me and I give him a light slap on the ass.

  
He glares. “Not in front of the kids, huh!”

  
I laugh and stand by the changing tables. “What the hell is all this shit for?”

  
“I have no idea…” Jared says as he lays Olivia down gently. He reaches for Ava and starts to search around the table, for what I’m not exactly sure.

  
“Look at this crap! Wipes, powder, cream… looks like a set up for a fucking science experiment.” I exclaim, looking around the room. I pick up the powder and set it down, a little too hard, and some white excess poofs out from the top. I mutter a curse word and Jared looks over.

  
“Oh God it’s gonna be a long night.” Jared laughs and begins to try to figure out how diaper sticky things work.

  
I don’t even hear him; I’m way too busy trying to wipe the white powder away from my blue shirt.

  
“Oh. My. God.” Jared says slowly, like they were his final words as Ava’s diaper becomes loose.

  
“Ew!” I shriek. “That’s terrible, we need a clothespin to hold our noses close or something!” I tell Jared as I pinch my nostrils together with my thumb and index finger.

  
Jared nods towards the wipes. “Hand me some of those, let’s just get this over with.”

  
I stand as far away as possible and hand him the box of wet cloths.

  
“You’re so much help.” Jared mutters sarcastically. “How the hell did I get poop patrol?” He puts one hand on Ava, the other wrapping the dirty diaper in a ball.

  
“I dunno.” I shrug, moving towards him and leaning my chest to his back, peering over to the girls lying side by side, their chubby legs kicking. “Because you like me too much to put me through something that might traumatize me?"

  
“Uh…” Jared sticks the tip of this tongue out of the side of his mouth as he concentrates on sliding the clean diaper under Ava’s bottom. “Nope. Don’t think that’s it.”

  
A look of fake shock crosses over my face. “You don’t like me?”

  
“I’d like you a whole lot more if you got rid of this.” He says, handing me the dirty diaper.

  
“Dude, you know that I’m not allowed by the diaper bin.” I sigh loudly and scoot Jared away so I can keep hold of the girls.

  
Jared rolls his eyes. “You just don’t wanna touch the damn thing.”

  
“Well that’s true too.” I agree and tickle the girls on their tummies before I button up the little pink and purple one piece pajama sets they’re in. Ava giggles and I pick her up slowly, cupping her head against my shoulder and keep one hand on Olivia until Jared walks over again.

  
“You think we should try to put ‘em down? I know I’m getting sleepy.” Jared yawns and picks up Olivia, who rubs her eyes and gives a little yawn too.

  
I nod and turn towards the cribs. “Yeah, might as well. Hey you think we should chill here for awhile? What if they wake up and need something? We could just lie on the floor and that way we can be here in case they cry.”

  
Jared looks amused as he gently places Olivia in her crib and covers her up. “Babe, that’s what those walkie talkie things are for. There’s one on the dresser.”

  
“Nice.” I hand Ava to Jared and he puts her down too and double checks to make sure they’re all covered and have stuffed animals lining the cribs in case they roll.

  
The apartment is small and I’m sure we’d be able to hear them if anything happened because we’ll be right down the hall. But still… having these baby girls lives in my hands. Damn, I don’t know how Tom does it.

  
“D’you turn it on?” Jared asks, pointing to the walkie talkie thing and I nod as I turn it all the way up, and then place it right by their cribs.

  
“All set.” I grab Jared’s hand and we stop in the doorway to turn off the light. Sucking my breath in, I hesitate to hear a cry but nope, not a peep.

  
Jared yawns loudly again and heads towards the sofa. “I’m tired.”

  
“I’m horny.” I smile and sit next to him. “You think Tom would be mad if we did it on his couch?”

  
Laughing, Jared sprawls out and drags me down with him until he’s spooning me from behind. I’m uncomfortable in my jeans and shoes, and the fit is tight but we make due the best we can. Jared sticks his nose in my hair and wraps his arm around my waist tightly. I thread my fingers through his and lean into his touch as much as I can.

  
“I think if Tom found cum stains anywhere near his couch, he’d kill us.” Jared says softly, snuggling closer to me.

  
I smile. “I think you’re probably right. I guess we can wait till we get home.”

  
“Mmm hmm.”

  
“Hey Jare…”

  
“Hmm?”

  
I yawn and close my eyes. “We gotta move before he gets home. Can’t find us like this…”

  
Jared’s soft snore is the only response I get.

  
**

  
Flying face first off the couch really isn’t the best way to wake up. I was in such a comfortable sleep, the kind of deep and warm place where it’s okay to dream because nothing can hurt you and where there aren’t any bright colors, just a blend of dark blacks and grays to swarm your mind into a sweet haze of easy sleep.

  
And a mouth full of carpet ain’t all it’s made out to be anymore.

  
“Sorry!” Jared winces as he watches me fall. He doesn’t help though, he just steps right over me and darts into the hallway. And he’s supposed to be my boyfriend or whatever sounds slightly less gay than that, you’d think he’d at least help me off of the floor.

  
I hear him talk softly over the baby monitor as I sit up, trying to shake the deepness of sleep from my mind. “Hey there, darlin… what’s the matter, Ava? You can’t sleep baby? It’s okay, don’t you worry now.” He murmurs, hushing her cries. I smile at his words and they’re so soft and sincere, they kinda make my heart sting in the best way possible.

  
Shuffling towards the hallway, I glance at the clock and I moan at the throbbing in my ass. Jared looks up as I appear in the doorway and smiles.

  
“You okay there, babe?”

  
I shrug, rubbing the small of my back. “Yeah, I guess. She okay?”

  
“Yep, she’s quietin down now, aren’t ya baby girl?” He asks softly and cups her head as he bends to but her back down in the crib.

  
I lean on the frame of the door and watch with a smile and a certain something drops into the pit of my stomach. “You’re good with them.” I tell him.

  
He blushes a little and grins at that as he adjusts the blankets. “I kinda like bein around kids. They’re cute.” Jared walks towards me in just a few long steps and rests his hands around my waist. “But not as cute as you.”

  
“Oh yeah? You sure about that?”

  
“Hmm…” He bites his bottom lip as he thinks and looks back to the cribs, trying to decide. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  
I grin and give him a shove on the chest. “Took ya long enough to decide.”

  
Shrugging, he tells me he’s a sucker for twins in pink and purple.

  
“Ah right.” I nod in understanding and rub my thumb down his jaw line. “So uh… you think you ever are gonna wanna have kids?”

  
“Don’t know, Jen. All I know is that kids might be in my future, but I know for a fact that you are.”

  
I can feel the heat rise in my neck and I lean in to give him a quick kiss.

  
“Dude what the hell time is it?” Jared yawns. “I thought they woulda been back by now.”

  
“Me too. It’s almost midnight.” I answer him. “They must be havin fun.”

  
“Guess so.” Jared brushes past me and links my fingers with his. “Good thing his couch is pretty comfortable.”

  
“You still sleepy?” I ask him, yawning slightly myself.

  
“Yeah.” He nods. “You still horny?”

  
“Mmm hmm.” I give a little pout and stick my lower lip out.

  
Jared flops on the couch like I just shot him through the heart. “God, Jensen. Don’t give me that look.”

  
“What look?”

  
“That look that makes me melt and lets you do whatever you want.”

  
I smile and my eyebrows go up as I lay down next to him again, but this time we’re face to face. “I have a look that can do that? Really?”

  
“Yep.” He sighs as we get comfortable and slips his arms around my waist. “And it’s kind pathetic how I fall for it every time.”

  
“I can make you do whatever I want, huh?” Smirking, I lift his shirt and run my cold fingers on his skin to warm them up. “That’s kinda powerful… could make you do anything.”

  
We start to kiss softly, no tongue or anything, just little pecks that have the perfect amount of pressure behind them and soon they become lazy and slow as we begin to get sleepy again.

  
The last thing I hear is Jared telling me that we have to move soon because we can’t let Tom see us lying like this, all snuggled together with our lips still touching lightly.

  
**

  
“Shh… we’ll wake them up!” Missy hisses and then “Oh my god, I think that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!” and then “Wow, they look really comfortable with each other…” and then “Did they go gay for each other and no one told me?”

  
“You shoulda seen ‘em at the studio this afternoon.” Tom snickers. “You woulda died.”

  
Oh man. Please let me be dreaming. At the vivid sound of Missy giggling though, I know that I’m not. “Wake up, Jare.” I mumble and punch him in the shoulder. “I think we just came out to our friends.”

  
Jared moans and groans and yawns and stretches before he opens his eyes. He looks up and Missy and Tom, smiles and waves, then looks down at me, still two inches from his face and suddenly he’s very awake and sitting up. “Uh… we were uh… really tired… um yeah, dude… Jensen, why you layin all close to me man?”

  
I roll my eyes and sit up too. “Jay, I think it’s too late. I think they’re smarter than that.”

  
Tom shakes his head, like we’re idiots. “Be right back, I’m gonna go check on the girls.”

  
Missy puts her hands on her hips and walks towards us with her mouth hanging open. “How long has this been going on?”

  
Jared and I glance at each other. “Um… for a while I guess.” He answers for both of us.

  
“Hmm.” She glares but there’s still a small smile she’s trying to hide on her lips. “You guys are good. Usually my gaydar is right on.”

  
“Well this is kinda new to us.” I admit. “It’s not like we were expecting this to happen.”

  
“So…” Jared takes a quick look towards the hallway. “How was the big date?”

  
Missy beams and clasps her hands together. “It was great! But you guys gotta get out cuz he hasn’t kissed me yet and I think that he’s about to so get the hell--”

  
“Hey.” Tom is pushing his sleeves up to his elbows as he walks back into the living room. “Sorry we’re late guys. The girls look fine though, thanks for not breaking anything.” He teases with a grin.

  
“Our pleasure.” Jared tells him and pats my leg, using me as leverage to get himself off of the couch.

  
I give a little oof at all of his weight on me, but I'm glad as he helps me up. Our fingers don’t separate and it feels a little weird to be holdin hands in Tom’s apartment, but hell… with the show we put on at the studio this afternoon and him coming home to find us all cuddled up, it’d be way stupid to try and hide this.

  
We gather our jackets and keys up while Tom walks us to the door and Missy goes to peek in on the girls one more time.

  
“Hey Tom…” I start off slowly and can feel Jared squeeze my hand. “Thanks for ya know… being cool with this. A lotta guys would be assholes and judgmental n’shit.”

  
“Pssh.” Tom waves his hand dismissively. “I don’t care what you guys do, who you do, or what don’t you do. All I care about is that you dudes are happy and ya know, if things are always so… _pleasant_ while takin pictures like they were this afternoon, well let’s just say that it makes my job a lot easier.”

  
“Yeah um…” I hesitate and feel my neck grow warm. “Sorry about that.”

  
“No worries.” Tom smiles. “It was kinda hot, I mean… for two dudes.” He scrunches his nose. “Actually, it’s kinda gross but whatever.” Shrugging, he opens the door and shivers as the wind breezes in. “You guys get along really well. I saw that from the beginning, after the weirdness.”

  
Jared smiles and pulls at my arm. “Come on, Jen. Let’s get goin.”

  
“Have a good rest of the night.” I wink and grin.

  
Tom just smiles knowingly. “Yeah, you guys too. What there is left of it. Thanks again for your mad babysitting skills.”

  
“Yeah, and Jensen didn’t even get attacked by the diaper pail this time.” Jared adds as we step on the stairs.

  
Tom laughs as Missy joins him at the door. They both call out their good-byes and wave as she pulls her shawl around her small frame and Tom wraps his arms around her shoulders to keep her warm. I’m glad their date went well.

  
We hold hands all the way to the car and our fingers link again after we settle inside. There’s no one on the streets this late and it’s so quiet around us except for the wind that is howling through the night. We stay silent and Jared keeps yawning, shaking his head to try to wake himself up.

  
“You still tired, babe?” I ask, rubbing my thumb over his.

  
“No.” He lies. “You still horny?”

  
I nod, not trying to hide it at all. “Yep.”

  
He turns his head and grins widely at me. “Drive faster.”

 

 **Jared's POV  
**

It has been one hell of a week.

  
And that’s putting it damn lightly.

  
It seems that babysitting took a lot outta Jensen because he got pretty sick the next morning. Actually, he had a stuffy nose and a sore throat, but to Jensen that was equivalent to dying and man, I thought I was whiny when I was sick but Jensen takes the cake. At one point I believe that I asked him if he wanted some cheese to go with that whine and that just got a pillow thrown at my head plus a glare sharp enough to kill.

  
I left his place to go get him some of those tissues with the lotion built right into ‘em and some herbal tea for the sore throat. By the time I got back he clung to me hard, making me lay down with him and snuggling up to my chest. I think he thought that I didn’t want to be around his sick sorry ass when I left. I shoulda told him I was just goin to the store and that I’d be right back, but I just slipped out the door when I thought he was sleeping. Obviously, it was a good thing I did come back cuz he didn’t wanna be alone and I have to admit, a curled up Jensen on top of me isn’t half bad, even if he is full of snot and sniffles.

  
By nightfall, I knew Jensen wasn’t just being whiny. He was truly sick. Just looking at him made me cringe and feel sorry for him. His nose was red, glands were swollen, eyes watery, and skin sticky pale. He was too sore to even start whining and just looked miserable all around. I made him some soup, but he didn’t even get two bites down before he pushed it away, shaking his head and pointing to his throat. I went back to the store and got him some cherry popsicles like my mom always did when I was sick. She said it was the only way to keep liquids in me. By the time I got back from the store it was almost midnight, but Jensen was in his bed staring blankly at the TV with the covers up to his chin and a frown on his lips.

  
“Hey babe, doin okay?” I asked softly, crawling into bed with him and offering a cold red treat.

  
He shrugged his shoulders and looked wearily at the popsicle.

  
“Come on, just eat this and you’ll feel so much better.” I told him and unwrapped it, then placed it into his hand.

  
He took one bite and smiled.

  
The box in the freezer didn’t last through the night.

  
***

  
The next morning I woke up and looked over to Jensen who fell asleep with a tissue in his nose. I couldn’t help but to smile at the sight and debated if I should take a picture. I decided not to and jumped in the shower after I downed some vitamins that the clerk at the drug store ensured me would help fight any germs I’d be around.

  
Jensen was coughing up a lung by the time I came out of the bathroom and my heart fell a little bit. I was hoping he’d feel better today. Sighing, I grabbed my cell phone and plopped back in bed.

  
“Bhat… bhat’re bou doing?” Jensen asked, his voice nasally from being stuffed up.

  
“Gotta call Tom and tell him we can’t make it today.”

  
“Bhy not?”

  
I laughed and flipped my phone open. “Because Jen, you’re sick as hell. You can’t go to the studio like this… not even Missy can make you look healthy.”

  
“Buh huh… just beed some extra make-up is all.” 

  
Smiling, I pushed my feet towards his until our toes were rubbing together. “You never need an ounce of make-up you’re so fucking perfect. Especially to cover up these freckles.” I told him softy, leaning over to give light kisses over his red nose.

  
Jensen pushed me back and grinned sheepishly. “You’ll catch my berms.”

  
I nod and agreed with him. “Exactly why we can’t go today. Don’t wanna get Tom n’Missy sick.”

  
“You’re not sick.” He pointed out.

  
I just shrugged at his words as I started to press Tom’s number into my phone and waited until I got his voicemail, leaving him a message that Jensen and I couldn’t go in today and to give me a call back.

  
The next fifteen minutes were spent cuddling in bed, holding hands and playing with each other’s fingers in a comfortable silence. I wished we could do more but I wasn’t about to make a move with Jensen feeling like crap. I could still feel the heat radiating from his body and the sweat at his brow made me feel so damn bad for him. I was about to suggest he take a cool shower or bath when his cell phone rang.

  
Jensen moaned when I left his side to go get it his phone on the dresser and I glanced down at the screen as I brought it to him. It was his mom so I handed it to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

  
“I’m gonna go make you some tea and toast.” I told him and he nodded as he answered it.

  
“Hi bob… yeah, I’b sick… no, I’b okay….”

  
When I got to the kitchen I started boiling some water and put some bread in the toaster. It all seemed to take forever and a day by the time it was all done. I could still hear Jensen talking, but couldn’t make out what he was saying. It wasn’t like I wanted to eavesdrop, but neither of us had mentioned telling our families about us before and well… I kinda wanted to see if he would say anything about me even though I doubted it.

  
“Bob, I’b tellin ya I’b fine… a friend… yeah, I made a friend. Is that so hard to believe?”

  
I smiled to myself when I walked in with his tea and set it gently on the side table. Before I could leave again though, Jensen grabbed me on the arm and made me lay down with him.

  
“Yeah, I know it’s a good thing.” He continued, grabbing for his toast. “I dunno…a couple ob weeks… Jared… yeah, I like bim… a lot.”

  
My eyes went wide at that and I stared up at him with my mouth hanging open in shock. Jensen tried not to laugh but instead started to cough and finally told his mom that he had to get some sleep before he died.

  
“Geez… that was subtle.” I told him when he hung up. “She’s gonna either think that her son is weird or humpin his new best friend.”

  
To my surprise, Jensen shrugged at that and just took a big bite out of his toast. I was about to say something about the extreme thought of actually coming out to our parents when my cell phone rang.

  
“It’s Tom.” I told him before I answered and snuggled back down in the pillows.

  
Jensen whispered for me to tell him hi and that’s the first thing I told Tom when I picked up.

  
Tom laughed and told me to tell Jensen that he better be sleepin up for next week’s shoot.

  
“Yeah, he looks pretty bad. He’ll need a major amount of sleep before he’ll be able to even get think about going to the studio.”

  
Tom sighed a little. “Dude, you sure he can’t come in, huh?”

  
I looked over at Jensen and the first thing that I could spot was his red nose. He was trying to sleep but had to leave his mouth open in order to breathe. “Yeah, I’m sure. Sorry man.”

  
“That’s okay…” Tom started slowly. “I’ll just have to call the agency for them to send over another model that looks like Jensen. If I do only body and profile shots no one will know it isn't him. Can you be here in a couple hours, say around two?”

  
“Um… huh?” I asked dumbfounded. There’d be no way in hell I could do a shoot with someone other than Jensen. No fucking way. Just… no.

  
“Well if Jensen can’t make it, you can still come.” Tom said. “We can just get another model to shoot with you this week. It’s no big deal.”

  
I tried to find my words but nothing would come to me except for weird little noises. How was I supposed to say not only no, but hell no. I could see Jensen peek one eye open at me. God, he was so cute and sick and I didn’t even want to leave him today and now Tom wanted me to go get naked with some other random dude? No. Way.

  
“Hey yeah Tom… uh, about that? I don’t think I’d be comfortable.”

  
“Jared, we’ve been over this. It’s just some pictures, remember?”

  
“But it’s not that simple.” I told him, getting off the bed and walking into the hallway. “I just… I can’t do that with some other guy. I mean, maybe if Jensen weren’t in the picture and if the shoot wasn’t so… erotic… then maybe I could but I just can’t. I’m sorry man, I really am. But no, I’m sorry. I don’t… I just can’t.”

  
“Jared…” Tom sounded frustrated and he probably had a right, but at that point I really didn’t care.

  
I sighed and shook my head. “I’m sorry, Tom. We’ll call you when he feels better okay? We’ll be in asap. I promise. I’m sorry I’m being such a pussy.”

  
“You’re not being a pussy, Jared. You’re just being kinda… in love.” Tom said.

  
I couldn’t say anything else and hung up the phone. A couple minutes ago everything was fine and dandy and now I was suddenly in love and turning down jobs. Fucking crazy life…

  
“Bhat…” Jensen cleared his throat a little. “What was that about?”

  
I fell back into bed and yawned. “Nothin, babe. Nothing at all.”

  
Jensen just gave me a glare and I could read in his eyes that he wanted me to tell him.

  
“Tom wanted me to do the shoot with some other guy. I said no. It’s not a big deal.”

  
The fierce look that could only be described as pissed off told me that Jensen thought differently.

  
“What the fuck? Jared… why the hell would you do that?”

  
“Um. Why _wouldn’t_ I do that?” I laughed lightly, somewhat nervous just because of the mad look written all over his face. “Dude, I don’t wanna do the shoot with anyone else.”

  
“It’s just a job, Jay. Fuck.” Jensen spit, his voice hoarse. “I mean… how the hell are you ever gonna work? The magazine ain’t gonna last forever and what? You gonna turn down every job offer because it isn’t with me? That’s fucking ridiculous.”

  
“Uh… I don’t think it’s ridiculous.” I told him slowly. “I just don’t wanna spend a couple hours naked with some guy.”

  
“Great. So I can’t trust you.”

  
I blinked at that. “Huh?”

  
“You afraid you might fall for the other model or something? Is that why you can’t do it? Don’t wanna be tempted?”

  
I could feel the heat starting to rise in my neck because what Jensen was saying was so fucked up that I couldn’t believe it. I don’t know if it was the cold medicine he was on or what but this whole conversation was fucked.

  
“Seriously Jared… I don’t know what’s worse. You turning down a job for me or not taking a job cuz of what might happen.”

  
“Jensen… I didn’t… I don’t even know what you’re talking about! Fuck Jensen. I wouldn’t want you goin off to some shoot if I were in bed sick and knowing that you… you’d be putting your hands on him and he’d be kissing you and… god no. I wouldn’t want that so I figured you wouldn’t either.”

  
“So you don’t trust me then? And you’re jealous. Fucking great, Jay." He said pissed the hell off. "Let me tell you something. If I had to take that job I’d probably would but you know what? You wouldn’t have to worry one second because all I’d be able to think about is you.”

  
I got up from the bed and started to get dressed, wiggling my pants on and throwing my wrinkled shirt over my head. “Fuck this. If you want me to go to the shoot, I’ll go. Damnit, Jensen. I thought I was doin the right thing and I don’t know why you’re being such an asshole. I hope you feel better.”

  
And with that, I walked through his apartment and slammed the door shut behind me.

  
**

  
That had been three days ago. And now here I am, sitting alone on my couch, watching something on TV that I don’t even care about and thinking about Jensen.

  
This. Sucks.

  
I want to be with him so bad and I feel awful about the fight but I don’t think I did anything wrong. I really don’t. Unless he thinks that what we have isn’t special enough to fight for. Maybe its not. Maybe I’ve been wrong this entire time and Jensen doesn’t give a fuck about what happens to us. So I’m not gonna apologize. I’m just not. Today, at least… maybe tomorrow. Oh fuck it.

  
Standing up, I move to grab my keys and jacket when I hear a shuffle and then a soft knock outside. I know its Jensen on the other side before I even answer the door and I hesitate before I open it. What if he’s here to break up with me? To tell me that this was fun while it lasted but he couldn’t handle it… couldn’t handle me.

  
For a second I think of pretending that I’m not home, just so I could have some time to prepare myself for the blow and not pussy out. No. Better to get it over with. My stomach is in knots as I swing the door open slowly and Jensen looks as miserable as I feel. Except there’s one difference… he’s holding a single red rose.

  
“Hey.”

  
“Hey.”

  
We’re both looking to the floor, neither of us able to make any eye contact when suddenly the flower is pushed into my chest.

  
Jensen’s voice has never been so soft. “Can um… can I come in?”

  
I nod and take the rose, closing my eyes briefly to breathe in the sweet scent. My throat is too dry to say anything and all I want to do is wrap my arms around Jensen’s waist and kiss him like there’s no tomorrow, but I wait to see what he has to say.

  
“Jared… I’m….” He looks to the floor again and then back up to meet my eyes. “I’m really fuckin sorry.”

  
Is that it? I hold my breath to see if he’ll finish the sentence with “and we can’t see each other anymore” but he stops there.

  
“Jay?”

  
He’s looking at me with hopeful eyes and I take a step closer to him. “Why’d you freak out so bad?”

  
Shaking his head, he sighs loudly and turns away from me. He sniffles and I wonder if it’s because he’s still getting over a cold or because of something else. “I don’t know. I just didn’t want to see you lose a job cuz of me and then I really didn’t wanna think about some other dudes hands all over you but then when you said you didn’t either, I didn’t think you could handle it and you’d kiss him and I was confused and sick and yeah… I’m just… I’m sorry.”

  
That’s it. I place the rose on the bookcase and walk the space that is between us until Jensen’s back is leaning against the wall with me standing over him. I stroke my thumb along his cheekbone softly and then cup his chin, tilting his head so we’re looking into each other’s eyes.

  
“Damnit, Jen. I’m falling for you so fucking hard. I just didn’t want anything to come between us. Taking pictures with another model would only make things so damn tense around us and I don’t want that.” I tell him, my fingers now in his hair. “I don’t want anything to ruin this. Even if you said you’d be okay with it. I couldn’t risk it. Not this time. I couldn't go through with it and just came home. Cuz I know what it would do to me, Jen. Havin some guys arms around you. It’d make me fucking crazy and so yeah, I guess I am a little jealous at times but that’s just cuz I don’t wanna lose you.”

  
He smiles at my words and gives a small nod. “Don’t wanna lose you either.”

  
I move in closer. “Then don’t push me away.”

  
Jensen shakes his head and puts his fingers on my hips. “I still don’t want you turning down jobs for me.”

  
“I won’t. Just… let’s just wait awhile, okay? We’re still just starting something new and maybe in a couple months when we’re even more comfortable with each other, then it might be different. But for now I wanna take things kinda slow and doing that kinda _stuff_ with another guy just wouldn’t help.”

  
“I think I can handle that.” Jensen says softly, moving to kiss me.

  
I pull back a little. “Whoa. You still sick? I don’t wanna get any of your nasty germs.”

  
“No I’m not still sick anymore, asshole.” Jensen teases. “No thanks to you. I had to take care of myself.”

  
“Aww.” I puff out my lower lip. “Poor baby.”

  
The look on Jensen’s face tells me to run for it and we’re laughing as he chases me into my bedroom. We strip silently, smiling at each other and leaning in to kiss gently as we undress. I’m kinda surprised. I thought we’d jump each other since its been a coupla days, but tonight it’s different. He’s not just kissing me tonight. He’s making love to my mouth.

  
Jensen lays over me and at first he just stares, making me feel almost shy to the point where I might have to turn away. Then he has foreplay with my lips, running the tips of our noses together all while barely rubbing his wet mouth on top of mine that I know is trembling. The kiss is slow in the beginning and he gently opens my lips apart, his chin moving back and forth until he’s satisfied that his tongue can reach mine, swirling and flicking inside of me, sucking the air right outta my lungs.

  
And then he deepens it, pressing on my mouth so hard with his that I can’t open any wider. I can’t help but to close my eyes and I have to breathe through my nose because our lips are completely connected. Our tongues push and play some more and then he slowly lets up, smacking his mouth gently on mine in tender pecks and nibbles, trailing a wet path of small kisses down my neck.

  
And then Jensen does the whole thing all over again, except each time it’s longer, softer, harder, more powerful and forceful, and each time I don’t think it can get any better, it does.

  
All I can do is move my tongue against his and moan when he lets up for air. My arms are above my head, too heavy to lift and my fingers twitch sporadically as our dicks sometimes meet and rub together. His skin is so fucking warm as he bears down on my body, resting his weight on me and spreading my legs so he can move in between.

  
“Say it again…” He whispers and his words take a minute to register. My mind is a hazy cloud of lust and comprehending anything is the least of my worries. “Come on, Jay… say it again. Say you’re falling for me.”

  
Jensen’s teeth sink into my neck as he pleads his request once more, his tongue licking the sensitive skin under my ear as I finally find use of my hand and tightly hold the back of his head, making him smother his hot mouth hard against me.

  
I take a deep breath in as I stutter out what he wants to hear. “I’m falling for you. So. Fucking. Hard…”

  
He smiles as he leans back up, his soft green eyes lazy with a passion so deep that I can see when it glimmers across the core. “I wanna touch you…” Biting his bottom lip with his teeth, I can tell he’s up to something.

  
“Go ahead…” I nod my approval and close my eyes, waiting for his hand to make contact on my already leaking dick.

  
“I wanna touch you…” At the pause I open my eyes and he continues. “Everywhere… if that’s okay…”

  
Our bodies are throbbing together, bumping and grinding, and if this feels damn good I can’t wait to see what he has in mind. I nod slowly, the nerves mixed with excitement flashing in my stomach and I know my feelings are apparent on my face when he kisses me gently, so reassuringly so kindly so fucking tenderly, that I allow myself to pant erotically so he’ll hurry.

  
As we kiss, two of his fingers push into my mouth, joining our tongues and making his salty bland skin damp with our saliva. I begin to suck on them greedily as he pumps them in and out of my mouth and he moans loudly when my tongue twirls around his fingertips, knowing it would be the same feeling if it were his dickhead inside of my mouth instead. He stares with his lips gaping open until his skin is almost wrinkled with my spit, the wetness dripping from his fingers as he pulls them out and reaches down between my legs.

  
My eyes go wide as Jensen pushes my ass cheeks apart and slowly rubs my sphincter up and down with the length of his wet fingers. “Just relax…” He whispers, closing his eyes and resting his forehead to mine. “I just wanna touch… I won't finger fuck you or nothing.”

  
I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that Jensen isn’t going to penetrate me and let the tension float out of my shoulders. It’s been awhile since I’ve… played in there and I ain’t ready for it again yet. Jensen digs into me, but just circles my opening with his slick fingertips in slow rotations, pushing lightly on my pink bud as he swirls his hand.

  
He grunts and sucks my neck into his mouth before pulling back, looking intensely into my eyes. “You're mine. Tell me you're mine.”

  
Groaning, purely because his finger is pressing hard right on me, right in that place and not moving, barely rubbing. “All yours, babe. Don't ever need to worry.”

  
We start to kiss hungrily as we begin a motion of thrusting our hips up, our dicks pushing into each other’s hard stomachs, providing enough stimulation to graze the head and make our cocks thicken with cum, plump, and so fucking hard as precum pools out of the piss slits and makes clear trails around our bellybuttons.

  
I can feel an emptiness as I realize I wish Jensen’s fingers would enter me, but I’m so caught up on the sparking sensations around my hole, I can’t find the words to tell him. All I can whisper is “harder” and he groans as his fingers push flat against my opening, rubbing furiously around and around, side to side, up and down, swirling and twisting as I start to expand, widening as I let go and loosen up.

  
God, I want to cum so bad. So fucking bad that if I let myself, I know I would. I have to hold out though and make this last as long as I possibly can. Fuck, I don’t think it'll be much longer...

  
“Oh fuck Jay…” Jensen hisses through his teeth and begins to thrust his dick harder into my stomach, the weight feeling like bliss on my cock.

  
As his fingers start to rub me even faster I can feel myself tensing up again, only slightly but I’m still afraid if he pushes in. “Don’t… don’t… not yet.” I gasp out and can immediately feel his hard kneading slow to a gentler pace.

  
“I know, I know… don’t worry, I won’t.” Jensen whispers, kissing along my neck leisurely, taking the time to run his tongue along my throat, then placing sloppy kisses on my chin. “Does it feel good?” He asks, fingers still rubbing around my winking hole that’s now starting to contract from the stimulation.

  
“Fuck yeah it feels good…” I breathe out, raising my knees higher on the bed, opening even wider for him.

  
Jensen brings his fingers up to his mouth and I miss the warmth as he spits on them, then roll my eyes back when I feel him start to rub my sphincter again, the new wetness making me tremble underneath his body.

  
Shit damn fuck, now his slick fingertips are patting against me in short, small, soft slaps as he quickens again, and I push into his hand as much as I can, wanting to feel the sharp pressure that he’s applying to my twitching hole.

  
“Fuck… I’m gonna cum soon.” I tell Jensen, eager for him to speed up, rotating my hips in the opposite direction that his fingers are kneading me in. “Oh god… Jen… fuck… a little faster.” I urge, my breath catching in my lungs as I try to talk. “Shit, don’t stop… fuck I’m gonna cum… don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop.” I whimper, my hand reaching for my dick and it only takes a couple pulls for me to squirt white semen all over, spraying our chests with the sticky mess.

  
“Oh fuck!” Jensen screams and I know he’s close, watching me cum first probably bringing him right to the edge. I push on his shoulders, trying to lower his body down mine. He questions me with his eyes as I scoot up.

  
“I want you to cum on me… on my…” I don’t have to finish because he knows what I’m talking about and hurriedly sits on his knees, spreading my legs wide, and eyeing the hole that he’s made convulse intensely. He grips his cock with one hand and spreads my ass cheeks with the other, aiming his dick head right at my opening.

  
I lean up so I can watch him stroke his cock and his whole body is shaking, the muscles under his stomach rippling as he holds his breath in as he cums hard, shooting his load right onto my hole and I can feel the warm wet spray as it begins to drip down my ass, pooling in the sheets underneath me.

  
We’re both moaning and as he drifts down from his high, he sticks the swollen head of his cock on my hole, rubbing it around in the cum and tapping it lightly. His dick feels unbelievable in the middle my ass cheeks and I wonder what it would feel like if he were to push in just a little, his softening cock breaking the virgin seal of my ass. Before I can ask him to do it, he rolls off of me, wiping the sweat from his brow.

  
“Holy shit, Jay. Holy fuckin shit I want to do that again.”

  
Smiling, I move to lay on my side and scoot closer to him, the sheets sticking to my sweaty back. “Can I be on top next time?” I ask, expecting him to agree quickly but he frowns as he lowers his arm.

  
“You didn’t like that?”

  
“What? No!” I laugh at his response; he totally didn’t get what I was trying to say. “Dude, you just have to experience that… you’ll fuckin pass out it’s so good. I think I have a permanent headache cuz I was tryin not to cum the entire time.”

  
“Really?” He grins, his eyes starting to blink fast and I know that he’s tired.

  
“Yes really.” I tell him softy as I climb on top of his chest, settling into the nooks of his body for the night.

  
Jensen sighs contently, wraps his arms around me, and falls fast asleep. I’m not really that tired yet and I rest my head on his shoulder as I stare at his relaxed face. My eyes drift over his features and the attraction that I’m feeling for him is almost unbearable. He isn’t just pretty… handsome doesn’t do him justice… he’s just fucking… well, appealing… in every way possible. His whole body is. He has something that I can’t describe and even if I tried, I wouldn’t know where to begin or where to end.

  
I slowly run my shaky fingers over his bottom lip and snuggle up to him some more. Almost as a reflex, he kisses the pad of my thumb and pulls me closer in his sleep.

  
And I know better… I know better to think that this isn’t something special.

  
Because it is.

 

 **Jensen's POV**

 **  
**The clock on Jared’s night stand is blaring eleven o’clock in bright red numbers. I stare at it, trying to figure out if we have enough time to.... do stuff. Let’s see, if we take a really quick shower, that’ll cut off a couple minutes. If we take a shower together, skip shaving, and throw on whatever clothes that are scattered around the room, that’ll give us another five minutes. If we don’t stop for coffee, that’ll be another ten. So that leaves us with about thirty minutes. I think. My calculations mix up in my head when Jared starts to do _that_ with his tongue.

  
My eyes roll back as Jared takes my cock into his wet mouth. Thirty whole minutes that will definitely be put to good use.

  
"So… tell me where exactly you want to be kissed." Jared demands, his voice sex filled and teasing. He leans up and nips at my mouth.

  
I laugh a little nervously; too embarrassed to say exactly where I hope Jared's lips will move to. “Oh I don’t know… I think what you were doin was just fine.” I shrug my shoulders when I see Jared looking at me with curious eyes, waiting for a real answer.

  
"Well…" Jared shifts down in the bed. "How 'bout here?" He asks as he takes my hand in his and kisses the back of it until he reaches my finger. Jared sucks my finger into his mouth slowly, wrapping his lips around it. His tongue dances along the salty skin and then he nibbles the fingernail as he peers up at me.

  
I can’t help but to moan as my finger is sucked. I let my eyes close and lean back into the pillows, allowing Jared to have full access to my naked body.

  
"Or here?" Jared says softly after he kisses my fingertip and then moves to lick the lines of my stomach, his tongue tracing my abs and dipping into the crevices. The trail of saliva leaves my skin sensitive and if we weren’t already sweat-slicked, I’m sure I would have gotten goose-bumps by now. He traces the curves and lines of my muscles with his tongue, paying a lot of attention to my bellybutton once he finds it. He licks and nips like my skin is almost calling out to him, begging to be licked everywhere. And Jared does taste all of where he can reach, not missing the slightest of an inch.

  
My arms fall to Jared's back and I smooth my hand up until I tangle my fingers in brown chocolate locks. Jared smiles and leans up, eyeing my chest like its candy coated.

  
"Or… here?" He whispers. His lips swallow my nipple whole and his tongue flicks over and over the small nub. Jared doesn't know it, but I fucking love when he does this. And now my body immediately covers in goose bumps and my limbs tense up under the power of just his mouth. Jared doesn't notice and he keeps at it, his teeth grazing over my chest ever so slightly. I have to suck in a deep breath and hold it in my lungs. The sensation of Jared's hot tongue is almost sending me right over the edge into an orgasmic pleasure that I’m just not prepared to let go yet.

  
He seems to finally sense my anxiousness because of all the squirming. I just can’t keep still anymore and Jared can hardly keep his lips over my nipple. I start panting and let out a huge, long, guttural moan when Jared moves his warm mouth from my hard nub and rubs his chin on it, his stubble that he hasn’t shaved off yet today creating such an unusual sensation of roughness and pleasure. Jared keeps his chin at my nipple until I start to whimper, then he glances down and sees that I’m leaking a large amount of precum onto my stomach. I’d almost be embarrassed for myself if I wasn’t already so completely gone.

  
Jared smiles to himself as he moves down my body, placing soft kisses as he goes. I spread my legs and Jared lies between them, stopping to stare at my display of cock and balls, which I don’t think is too shabby if I do say so myself. Jared is only inches from it and he breaths in deeply, letting his eyelashes flutter for a second. He softly threads his nose through my pubic hair, his lips always puckering together to plant wet kisses wherever he can. His tongue grazes the tip of the leaking head, just for a tease and then lingers down the shaft. Damn, I’m so very hard, my dick throbbing and hot.

  
Jared spreads my legs wide and pushes my shins up on the bed, so that my legs are bent at the knees. He keeps kissing, licking, all the way down the shaft, never taking it into his mouth. The room fills with our sweat, our heat, and everything in between. It’s so hot and the walls are spinning out of control. The sounds of saliva on skin and soft moans are thick in the air, his and mine mixed together in a sweet sounding symphony, turning us both on to the extreme. All time seems to stop, my mind and heavy eyelids seem to be more awake than ever because of my surging hard dick. Every nerve on my body jumps alive at the opportunity to be stroked, kissed, or licked. The constant creak of the bed is obvious in the dim lit room. It is so quiet, the soft lighting, the spontaneity of being together right now, being enclosed in Jared's room, shut out from the world… it is all so… perfect.

  
His lips never stop moving. My legs are pushed up in to my chest by now so Jared can have a full view of my hole that I can feel almost winking in excitement. Jared starts with kissing me all along my ass cheeks, gently at first and then he quickly grows more confident. He spreads my ass cheeks wide, separating the skin to enable direct contact with his tongue. I’m warm there. I know I am and my skin flushes with a deep blush as I realize what’s about to happen. Jared starts to lick between my legs hungrily, like the taste is more than tolerable, like the taste and scent turns him on so much that when I glance down to watch what he's doing, I can see Jared’s hard dick begin to thicken with a steady stream of blood flow.

  
I have seriously never felt a sensation this fucking heavenly in my entire life. I can’t even moan, pant… hell, I can't even breathe. My lungs feel as if they are going to explode from holding in a gulp of air, I can't stop from trying to pull my body up and away from Jared's hot mouth because it feels so fucking good. Too fucking good and I know that I’m gonna cum soon. I still spread my legs out as far as I can though and grip the sheets to steady myself. God, I never knew something this dirty and wrong could feel this perfect.

  
Jared licks and licks, hungry for my taste. He switches from pressing his tongue forcefully on my hole to swirling it around and around in small circles. His tongue goes slow, so very slow and licks up and down, side to side, at every spot in my ass. Then his tongue tenses into a point and he stabs at my opening, in fast, little and hard strokes. Jared pushes his tongue all the way in and I swear he better be careful because I know I’m clenching him with my pink pucker. He rams it in again and again and in so far that I can feel his teeth rest around my opening while his tongue is thrusting inside.

  
I just can't take it anymore and start moaning out his name uncontrollably. Finally, I get my breath back and all of a sudden I’m very vocal at the action Jared is performing on me, trying to let him know that I’m so close to cumming. So very close. I start to ramble, “Suck my ass, eat my ass, feels so good, yeah baby, lick my hole open.” And God, now I’m trying to grind my ass into Jared's face, the pleasure becoming intense and wanting to savor every minute is top priority. I reach down and begin to stroke my dick that is begging for attention. My masturbation ritual feels very different with a tongue swirling inside of me, that’s for sure. I know now that I could quickly get addicted to this feeling.

  
I think I’m actually pushing myself against Jared’s forehead as my hand slides up and down my cock, but I don’t care cuz it all feels too damn good. Jared pulls back and sees that my balls are tight and small against my body, and when he simply goes back to work at my ass, I roll my eyes up again and swear. This time, though, he slides a finger in with his tongue, stretching me out wider than I’ve ever been and damn, he was right. This feels so fucking awesome. Jared takes his other hand and spreads my ass cheeks open as far as they can so he'll be able to angle better, and then sinks his finger in, along with his tongue for deep penetration. Jared pulls out slowly and pushes back in even slower. So. Fucking. Slow. With each thrust I open a little more and Jared presses in with a straight finger up until I can feel his knuckle disappear, and then he stabs the opening with his tongue like he is fucking me with two separate devices-- a finger and a tongue, both going in different directions and both going different speeds.

  
It doesn't take many pumps of my hand on my dick to cum all over the place. I spray so long and hard that some of it ends up in my hair, a large amount on my pecs, which I haven’t done since I was a teenager. My body convulses into waves of pleasure as I slowly came down from my orgasmic high. All I can see are flashes of bright lights behind my closed lids while Jared removes his finger, but still keeps thrusting his tongue in gently to my contracting hot hole. Jared finally pulls all the way out and kisses it for awhile, like he’s not able to resist sticking his tongue out and licking it one more time before he crawls up on the bed, throwing his arm over my sticky chest.

  
We lay with our legs tangled together, sweating, and panting to catch our breaths. Every single part of our bodies worked to the max, sore and tingling. I know that I’ve never experienced anything like that, by far the most intense orgasm of my life and by the looks of Jared and the way his skin is practically glowing in the aftermath, I don’t think he has either.

  
The bright red numbers are blazing under my lids and to the corners of my eyes, but I don’t want to look. I don’t want to see how much time we really don’t have. Instead, I roll Jared onto his back and glance down at his spent cock. He watches me with confused eyes as I quickly inspect his dick and when I’m satisfied, I give him a quick smile and fall back into the pillows.

  
“Yes, Jensen.” He sighs happily. “I can get off just by eating your ass out.”

  
“I can see that.”

  
A few seconds of silence fill between us and then Jared asks, “So you were okay with… my finger up… there? Didn’t hurt?”

  
I nod and smile. “Fuck. Yes. And hell no it didn’t hurt. Not with all that prep.”

  
“Well…” Jared moves to rest his head against my shoulder, snuggling to the side of my body. “This is a sure way we won’t cum at the shoot today cuz it’d be really embarrassing if that happened again.”

  
“Yeah, like once wasn’t enough.”

  
Jared smiles widely and kisses me. “It happens.” He shrugs.

  
I completely ignore his statement and roll on top of him, stretching and pushing him into the mattress. “God, my ass feels so fucking good right now. You have no idea.”

  
“I’d kinda like to have an idea.” He says innocently.

  
I grin and shake my head. “Yeah, like you’ve never experience that before.”

  
His eyes go suddenly serious. “Jen… I haven’t. Hey how many people have you--”

  
“Jay we gotta go, we’re gonna be fuckin late again!” I tell him hurriedly, scooting off the bed. Shit. We went way more than thirty minutes and I feel kinda bad that Tom and Missy are gonna have to smell whatever it is we smell like. But damn was it worth it.

  
“We’ll talk about this later?” Jared asks and I have no idea what he’s talking about right now, but I just nod and tell him to hurry the hell up. We had to be out the door five minutes ago.

  
**

  
“Isn’t this a little--”

  
“Kinky?”

  
“Uh yeah.”

  
“What?” Tom peers unknowingly at the black leather collar that Jared has hanging from his index finger like its going to bite him. “Don’t all gay dudes have a thing for fake leather and spikes and wipes n’shit?”

  
“We wouldn’t know.” I tell him dryly. Missy snickers at that while she dusts my face with powder and I do my best to hold in a sneeze.

  
“I can hardly get these stupid things on!” Jared shouts from the other room, now trying to get dressed. Laughing, I turn and see a glimpse of his long body trying to squeeze into a pair of tight leather pants that are probably one size too small.

  
Mine fit rather well, thank you.

  
The fishnet shirt that I'm wearing though is well… um. Interesting. Jared has these leather bands going across his chest and back, meeting all together right below his pecs. His hair is formed into a big mohawk on top of his head and if I didn’t know he was a big sap at heart, I’d be kinda freaked if I saw the dude walking down the street. Maybe half freaked and half turned on. At the sound of his chains hanging from his body coming close, I look up and smile as he dunks from the doorframe because of the added height from his hair.

  
“My balls are squished.” He complains, reaching to his crotch and adjusting himself.

  
“I’ll make them feel better later.” I smile.

  
“Ew! God Jensen!” Missy squeaks and slaps me on the shoulder. We start laughing as I feel Jared stare at me, practically burning a hole right through my own chains hanging from my neck.

  
“What?” I ask.

  
“You look…”

  
“Kinky?” I guess.

  
“That and really hot.” He licks his lips slowly and I wonder if we can really get through his shoot without cumming. Thankfully, Missy has told us that she can stay through the entire thing so I know that will be enough to distract us.

  
“Oh yeah?” I say to Jared. “Would you like it if I dressed like this all the time?” I ask and walk to the mirror, blinking twice at the reflection in front of me. Wow. I have black eyeliner all across my eyelids, smudged to make my green eyes appear way brighter than they actually are. Missy put a fake lip ring on my lower lip, off to the right and I run my tongue over it just for a taste. The fishnet shirt covers my arms and the fake tattoos that she has already placed all along my biceps of crossbones and flames and skulls and other random hardcore shit. The leather pants fit snuggly around my hips and there are chains everywhere, around my neck, my wrists, my waist and even the boots that I kinda actually like.

  
“I think…” Jared whispers as he slides behind me, staring at the mirror too. He reaches around me and flicks my nipples easily through the fishnet. “I think we should definitely steal this shirt and bring it home with us.”

  
I’m about to tell him that I agree, but only if he could steal those too tight leather pants that he can hardly walk in, but make his ass look incredible when Tom tells us to save it for the camera.

  
Jared gives me a quick kiss on the neck before he heads over to the blank wall where only a stool sits. Tom said that we had enough accessories on and didn’t want the set to take away from that.

  
“Can we make this quick?” Jared asks as he plops down on the stool. “I have a three o’clock appointment to get my cock pierced by a mistress crack head and her bulldog, Flamehead.”

  
“Flamehead?” I tease, smiling as I join him.

  
He shrugs. “Maybe I could come up with better jokes if my tongue wasn’t so tired from this morning.”

  
“Enough said.” I cough, glancing at Tom and Missy who were currently flirting and giggling with each other. “Uh guys.” I yell towards them. “Any day now?”

  
“Sorry!” Missy shoots Tom an apologetic look and skips over to the couch.

  
Jared rolls his eyes and adjusts the leather straps over his nipples. Poor guy. Luckily, he’ll probably be out of that thing soon enough.

  
“Oh one more thing.” Tom says and goes behind his desk. I sigh heavily to myself because I hate when he does this. Last time Jared and I ended up wearing wings.

  
Tom walks towards us and throws Jared a leather rope or something. Or something. It’s a leash. We glance at each other and then back at Tom, waiting for some direction.

  
“Well I don’t care who the pussy is, just someone put it on.” He says.

  
Jared and I look at each other again. Usually we can read whatever the other is thinking in each other’s eye, but this time we are at a loss.

  
Missy clears her throat. “Um… I have a suggestion?”

  
We all stare as she looks us over. “Well… Jared, you’re kinda dressed like you would totally be the ‘dominator’ or something, ya know?”

  
Jared crosses his arms proudly over his chest, satisfied with that answer.

  
“So that should automatically mean that Jensen should be the dominator.” She continues. "Cuz ya know… that would surprise everyone. Wouldn’t be so cliché.”

  
I smile and grab the leash out of Jared’s hands. “I agree.”

  
“Fine.” Jared rolls his eyes and lifts his chin. “But I better be getting some kinda reward for this.”

  
“My tongue will be _aching_ by the time I’m done with you.” I tell him as I snap the latch on his leather collar.

  
“Fuck Jensen… don’t get me hard right now. I’ll break my dick off in these pants.”

  
“Sorry.” I whisper, giving him a small kiss on his cheek.

  
The camera suddenly flashes and we turn toward it, surprised that Tom has started already.

  
“Let’s go guys! Jared, down on your knees stud muffin!” He laughs and moves closer to us.

  
I watch as Jared does what he’s told and sinks down. Holding my breath and holding the leash in my hand even tighter, I’m suddenly glad this isn’t the first shoot we had to do together. I’m glad that we’re at a safe place, a place where Jared can trust me and I can trust him.

  
I pull on the leash kinda hard and Jared falls to his hands, now on all fours. Hmm. This could be fun. I watch for his reaction and I get what I want, a small approval by the corners of his lips curling into a smile.

  
**

  
This is the first time that Jared and I hang around while Tom develops the pictures. We laugh and talk with Missy as we wait, slipping off the black thong we both ended up in and pulling back on our jeans and t-shirts in the other room. We try to scrub off the eyeliner but that stuff is like glue or something. There’s still a smokiness around both sets of our eyes by the time we’re done, but I doubt anyone will notice. Jared gets all the gel out of his hair, but there's still a gross blob left on his neck that I flick off for him.

  
Missy is chatting our ears off while we drink stale coffee and I whisper to Jared that we have to go get fresh coffee once when we leave. He nods to me and turns back to Missy, smiling at what she is saying and slyly placing his hand on my thigh, squeezing the flesh lovingly. Lovingly? I stare the span of his fingers griping me and look back to his face and all I can think of is, God I hope so.

  
“You guys are gonna kill me.” Tom says as he steps out of his dark room and blinks a few times. “They all came out black. We gotta do the set again.” He holds up a glossy picture with black ink everywhere and looks to the floor miserably. “I’m sorry.”

  
Jared and I both stare at him in amazement.

  
“You’re telling me I have to squeeze my balls back into those pants?” Jared finally asks and with that, Tom starts to crack up.

  
“Anyone ever tell you two that you’re gullible as hell?”

  
I look at Missy for some support and she just shrugs. “I knew he was kidding.” She says.

  
Jared glares as Tom pulls out the folder from behind his back. “So not funny dude.”

  
“Your balls must really be hurtin over there, huh?” Tom smiles and sits down, folding the protective cover back of, what looks like, to be an entire book of black and white pictures.

  
“Whoa.” It comes out of my mouth before I realize and I glance to Jared as I pass him the first one. “These came out pretty um… good?”

  
Tom nods. “Hell yeah they did. I’d say your best shoot yet.”

  
The first picture is of Jared crawling up my legs with his ass sticking way out, licking at my leather covered crotch. The second is of me licking the side of his face, yanking on the leash to the side. The third is of Jared ripping the fishnet shirt off and pinching my nipples. The fourth is of him tracing the lines of my fake tattoos with his tongue while he grabs my hair. The fifth is of me sitting between his spread legs as he stands over me, grabbing at his pants and lowering the zipper. The sixth is of Jared with his hand down my thong, biting my neck. The seventh is Jared lying down, the leash in a trail above his head, and I’m straddling him and sticking my fingers in his mouth as I run my tongue up his torso.

  
God damn. These are hot. And that’s only a few of ‘em. No wonder we’re making so much money.

  
“Here.” Tom hands me one last photo. “I can’t send this into the magazine, so you guys might as well keep it.”

  
I slide the photo out and it’s the one Tom took at the very beginning of the shoot, when we hadn’t known he was ready. It’s me kissing Jared lightly on the cheek, my eyes closed and his are open, but hooded and he’s looking at me like… like it kinda means something.

  
**

  
“So I have to ask you something and I really don’t want you to get pissed.”

  
I sigh and sip my coffee. It feels good as I swallow it down and I’m glad we stopped on the way home. Our fingers bump as we walk back to my place since its closer to the studio and it’s nice out, the afternoon sun bright and warm above us. My hands are full with the coffee in one and the picture that Tom gave us in the other, so we can’t hold hands again. Which is kinda disappointing, until Jared opened his big fat mouth. Why do I have a feeling that I don’t even wanna know what his question is.

  
“Okay…” I say slowly. “I promise I won’t get pissed.”

  
Jared stops by a garbage can. “Hold on one sec.” He tells me and starts to gulp his coffee down.

  
“Jay! What’re you doin? That’s fucking hot! You’ll burn your--”

  
“Ow!”

  
“Tongue, idiot.” I finish, shaking my head.

  
“Shut up.” He hisses and throws the now empty coffee cup in the trash. He walks towards me and slides the folder out of my hand, puts it in his other one, and grabs my free hand with his. “There.”

  
I roll my eyes a little bit, but I have to admit that it does feel good. Whatever he has to ask must be really bad. “Okay… so your question?”

  
“Yeah um…” His fingers squeeze around mine. “Dude, how many chicks have you slept with?”

  
Oh.

  
Um.

  
Okay. So not what I was expecting.

  
“Uh… well, I don’t know Jay. How many have you--”

  
“Two.”

  
“Oh.”

  
“Unless you count oral as sex.” He finishes and I smile.

  
“Let’s say that I did.” I tell him.

  
He looks uncomfortable for a half a second. “Well then it gets tricky.”

  
“Mmm hmm.” I nod, understanding.

  
“So… Jen? Haven’t answered the question.” He says and gives me an earnest look.

  
I give a little laugh and glance at him with just a touch of disbelief. “Well I’m not some kinda whore! I’d say less than sold out football game…”

  
“Jen, come on.”

  
“I don’t know… I could probably count them all on two hands, okay?”

  
Jared seems satisfied with that and his grip loosens around my hand a little.

  
“Unless, of course, you don’t count oral as sex.”

  
Jared smiles. “Because then it gets tricky?”

  
“Yep.” I tell him. “So do we count rimming as sex or not?”

  
“Well that’s kinda my point.” Jared says, the nervousness coming back into his voice. I can actually see beads of sweat at his brow. “Um. I think we should uh. Ya know. Get tested. So we don’t have to worry when we wanna… ya know and I just think it’d be better than using condoms for our first time and at the rate we’re going, it’s gonna be soon and since this is the first time either of us has been with a guy it’d probably be a good thing to start fresh, ya know? Because I can really see a future with you and I really want this to work and if we get tested, that’ll be one less thing to worry about and please don’t be mad at me because I don’t care how many chicks you’ve been with because all I care about is just _you_ and not your history even though I know you’ve had not so--”

  
“Whoa, whoa, Jesus Jay! Just hang on a second will ya? Just… yeah. Wait.”

  
He bites his bottom lip nervously. “Are you pissed?”

  
“No…” I tell him slowly. “No… actually, I think that’s a good idea.”

  
“Yeah?” He says happily, the relief rushing out of him.

  
I nod. “I think you’re right. We’ve waited long enough, we can wait for a few more days. We’ll go to the clinic tomorrow, cool?”

  
“Jensen…”

  
I look up into his eyes and hold my breath.

  
“I… just… thank you.”

  
Shaking my head, I wave him off. I start to rattle on about how it’s good that he can still ask me something, even though he doesn’t really want to. I tell him that it’s a turn on and squeeze his hand. And for some reason I do think that this is the most responsible thing to do, even though we probably should’ve done it a lot sooner than blow jobs and rimming, but whatever. The truth is that I had been wondering about his "number" as well, ever since that time at the grocery store when I caught him buying a big box of comdoms.

  
I drop my coffee into the nearest garbage can even though it was still half full. I want to blame it for the nagging knot in the pit of my stomach.

Jared's POV

A few days later we both sit nervously in the downtown free clinic. We’re about to get our test results back and it’s not like we’re worried about the outcome, just the prospect of what we would be doing tonight if everything came back okay. I don’t know about Jensen, but I haven’t had sex in a damn long time and ya know, not to mention never with a man before. 

  
"Mr. Ackles? This way please." A nice looking nurse smiles warmly towards both of us as she walks into the waiting room. At the same time, a huge butch nurse that looks mean as hell comes out to greet me.

  
"Paddleduci? This way." She growls with a permanent pissed off expression and my eyes grow wide. "Oh man. You've got to be shittin me." I whisper, just loud enough for Jensen to hear as we walk towards the ladies dressed in crisp white, clipboards in their hands.

  
Jensen tries to hide his smile because the beastly nurse is now staring us down with her hand on her hips and tapping her foot. "Damn babe… good luck in there." He snickers and grabs my fingers for a quick squeeze.

  
We take one last glance at each other and depart to separate rooms.

  
Five minutes later we meet back in the waiting room with good news. Jensen is smiling, but I know I must be as white as a ghost and my eyes are still wide circles.

  
"What's wrong?" Jensen asks quickly, concern in his voice that there might be something wrong with my test results.

  
"Dude, it was so sick. She explained how to put a fucking condom on and like, what lubes are good."

  
Jensen starts to laugh and tells me that his nurse had done the same thing, but it probably wasn't nearly as bad as what I had gone through.

  
"Hey at least we got free samples outta of it." Jensen says as we walk through the door and breathe in the fresh fall air. He shows me the four little tubes and some blue condoms the nurse had given him.

  
"What! You got a shitload and all I got is one fucking thing of lube. This sucks ass so bad."

  
Jensen smirks. "I thought you like it when your ass is sucked."

  
I shoot Jensen a glare because he so made me blush on purpose. "Shut up." I mumble and Jensen just laughs and grabs my hand as we start to walk to the studio. We’re supposed to be there in about an hour and I’m wondering if we have time to stop for lunch somewhere.

  
"So umm." Jensen’s tone instantly changes with a hint of shyness as we wait to cross the street.  "Can I come over tonight?" He asks. It was obvious what we would do; we've been waiting forever and a god damn day.

  
I stretch my arms high above my head and try to hold in my grin. “I don’t know man, might have something planned. Might be busy.”

  
“Oh yeah?” Jensen smiles, his eyes narrowing. “Doing what exactly?”

  
“Mmmm… let me think. Gotta wash my hair. Replace the light bulbs. Fluff the pillows. Ya know, the usual.” I tell him, letting my grin spread as I see his eyes start to sparkle green flecks.

  
“Well how long’s all that gonna take?” He asks, taking a step closer to me and biting his bottom lip. God, I hate him. He knows what that does to me.

  
“About five minutes.” I say softly, letting my eyes drift to his lips. “I guess the rest of the night we’ll just have to have some sex.”

  
“Damn.” Jensen shakes his head. “I guess we’ll have to since you’ll have all that time on your hands.”

  
“Yeah, guess so.” I agree, starting to lean in for a kiss, but Jensen’s looking over my shoulder and suddenly his eyes light up.

  
“Dude! There’s that burger joint Missy was tellin us about and I’ve been dyin for a burger ever since! We gotta go!”

  
I laugh instead of kiss him because he must be really hungry if he’s this excited about a burger. In fact, I don't remember him eating last night. I think he was nervous about getting our test results back today. I kinda want to ask him what made him be so nervous, but whatever it is it's all in the past now. I probably don't want to know anyway. “Yeah babe, we can go. Better get a double cuz you’ll need your strength for later.”

  
Jensen’s eyes flick from the huge hamburger sign back to me and he raises his eyebrows up and down a couple times. “Gettin my hopes up, Jay.” Then he glances down towards his crotch. “Maybe something else too.”

  
Shaking my head, I pull Jensen down the sidewalk with me. “Come on, Mr. Ackles. We gotta hurry if we’re gonna make it to the studio in time.”

  
***

  
“Ew! Gross!” Miss shrieks and she jumps high likes she saw either a huge spider or a mouse. “What the hell is that!?”

  
Jensen and I both look to where she’s pointing to on the ground and I see my jeans that I flung across the room... and then I see the condoms and lube that must have fallen out of my pockets. “Um… heh… I don’t know how those got there!” I stammer out, my face growing pink.

  
Jensen shakes his head at me like he’s disappointed. “Good goin Jay.”

  
I shrug and try to look cute. It must’ve worked because both Jensen and Missy start to laugh.

  
Tom throws me a ball of rolled up clothes and says, “Here ya idiots. Put this shit on so we can get started.”

  
I look at what he’s thrown me and realize that they’re sweaters. Ugly sweaters. And they’re kinda smelly, not like a dirty smell but the kinda smell that’s old and reminds me of my grandparent’s attic. “Here.” I toss one to Jensen and it lands right on the top of his head. “You can wear this one, the green brings out your eyes.”

  
“Puke green brings out the color in my eyes? Wow, thanks Jay.” Jensen says as he takes the sweater and holds it up. “Tom, what the hell we doin today?”

  
Tom points over to the stage area. “You guys are supposed to be college dudes gettin it on. Nerd style.”

  
“Nerd style?” Jensen frowns. “But I don’t wanna be a nerd.”

  
“Well ya get to be for a whole damn hour. Or however long this shoot takes.” Tom mumbles, not paying attention anymore and loading his camera with film.

  
“What’s the matter, Jen?” I tease, starting to slip off my shirt. “Don’t want anyone to see you in your nerdy glasses?”

  
“My glasses are not nerdy, asshole. And you don’t even have to dress up for this one cuz you’re already a nerdo.”

  
“A nerdo?” I raise my eyebrows at him and give a small smirk. “That’s not what you called me last night.”

  
“Which was?”

  
“I believe it was Mr. Stud you-rock-my-world Padalecki.”

  
Jensen rolls his eyes. “Yeah. I’m sure that was it.” He says as he lifts his shirt, balls it up, and throws it to the sofa. My eyes start to wander down his chest, then to his waist and the jeans that cling to his hips. God… we actually get to have sex tonight. Sex. I get to be slicked up inside of him. Connected. Moving in and out. Thrusting all slow and then a little faster. Then slow again so I can take my time. Really feel what it's like to be inside. So tight. And hotter than his mouth. God, I love his mouth. And I would kiss at his lips and look into his eyes as we both cum hard. I think I might even get to cum inside of him. No condom. Nothing between us. Just his ass and my dick. So so so tight too. I bet it’ll be so fuckin great. Probably the greatest thing ever. I hope I’ll be able to last longer than five seconds. I hope I don’t embarrass myself and I really hope he’ll think it’s as great as I do. Unless… well, unless he’ll be inside of me. And then well… that’s not something that would be totally terrible. I guess. We never really talked about who would top and who would bottom. It sounds stupid, but I never really thought about it until now. Damn. I can feel my hard on that I had a few seconds ago start to go soft.

  
“Jared! Come here, I gotta do your hair!” Missy shouts and shakes a can of hairspray in one hand.

  
Jensen glances at me and I can tell I must look worried. “You okay babe?”

  
I nod. “Sure. Yep. Everything’s great. Good even. I’m just gonna…” I point to Missy. “Gonna go get my hair uhhh… whatever.”

  
Jensen looks confused, but doesn’t say anything. Missy’s in her own little world and doesn’t notice that I walk stiffly to where she’s setting up. Jensen’s dick could be up my ass tonight, I think to myself as I sit still in the chair, Missy’s fingers working through the locks. In my ass. And yeah, I put my fingers up there awhile ago and it was okay, but I didn’t like… fuck myself or anything. And yeah, Jensen’s paid special attention to my ass lately. It’s been nice too. Maybe it would fine. I can do it. No problem. I think.

  
By the time Jensen’s leaning on the little desk, glasses perched on his freckled nose that Missy refused to cover because they’re so cute, and backpack slung over his shoulder I feel a little better.

  
“Jay? You sure you’re okay?” Jensen asks as his hands slide around my back and he spreads his fingers, rubbing little circles into my skin. Missy and Tom are giggling in the background, letting us have a private moment to ourselves before we get started.

  
So maybe I wasn’t hiding it the best I could. “Yeah. I’m good.”

  
“You know… if you’re nervous about tonight.” Jensen starts and leans closer to me, rubbing his cheek against mine. “There’s no reason to be. It’ll be great just cuz we’ll be… I don’t know, together or something equally as mushy. So just relax. Everything we’ll fine. We’re fine.” He closes his eyes, nibbles on my jaw, and kinda pulls me in even closer as he speaks words of comfort and now I have no idea what I was worried about in the first place.

  
The light from Tom’s camera ruins the moment and as I glare back at him, I can see he’s quite proud of himself. “What?” He asks innocently enough and I let out a huff, pushing Jensen back a little.

  
“Come on. The sooner we get started, the sooner we can get home.” 

  
Jensen smiles at that and grabs the books that were on the desk. “So are you seducing me or am I seducing you?”

  
“Show me what you got, Shmackles." I tell him. "You know, your freckles really are the cutest thing ever.”

  
“Jay…” Jensen whines and blushes at the same time. “Shut it.”

  
Missy suddenly snorts as Tom makes her laugh hard. Jensen and I turn to them to see what’s so funny and Missy is now digging in her book bag, moving all her junk in there to the side until she finds what she’s looking for and pulls it out triumphantly.

  
“What the hell we need that for?” I ask them, eyeing the object in Missy’s hand.

  
“Tom says you guys should be studying measurements. And here’s the ruler you guys can use to um… measure… certain things.” She barely makes it out before she starts cracking up again.

  
Jensen does a fake huge laugh and the next instant he’s glaring seriously at them. “Morons.” He grumbles under his breath, still kinda smiling though as he straightens up and takes a few steps back. “Can we please get on with it?” He opens one of the books and stares blankly at the pages in front of him. I smile and look at his face and decide even though his jaw is as chiseled as they come, he’s still completely adorable.

  
“Hold it!” Tom calls out and for the next hour and a half, Jensen and I are two guys in college flirting with each other until we end up in our underwear with my legs spread open, arching over the desk and Jensen’s lips are mouthing my bellybutton.

  
“Awesome job guys.” Tom says as he sets the camera down on the table and Jensen and I grab some towels, wrapping them around our waists. “I can’t believe we’re almost done with the spread. One shoot left and you guys won’t have to see my ugly mug every week.”

  
Jensen and I stop whatever we’re doing and look at Tom. “There’s only one left? Seriously?" I ask him. "I thought we at least had a couple more to do.”

  
Tom shakes his head. “Nah man, thirteen was what the contract was for. We just finished number twelve.”

  
“Oh.” Jensen sucks in a deep breath. “Wow. That went fast.”

  
We glance at each other and walk to get back into our clothes. I guess I knew that we wouldn’t be shooting these photos for much longer, but I still didn’t think we’d be done so fast. We say our good byes to Missy and Tom before we head out and agree to a barbaque at Tom’s on Saturday night. I wouldn't dare tell Jensen, but I kinda can’t wait to hold Tom's baby girls again and play around.

  
“Wanna stop for coffee on the way to my place?” Jensen asks as we make our way down the stairs.

  
“Well we kinda have to...” I smile. “I mean, we kinda have a long night ahead of us.”

  
Jensen squints his eyes like he’s trying to think. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot.”

  
“Jerk.” I laugh and bump his shoulder with mine. “I can’t believe we’re almost done with the whole shoot. It’s gonna be weird not seeing Missy and Tom every week. Not getting naked with you in front of a camera.”

  
“Yeah, guess we can get naked in private from now on.” Jensen says dryly and guides me away from a pothole in the sidewalk with his hand on the small of my back.

  
I almost want to bring up tonight and talk about which one of us is gonna top and which one of us will bottom, but I don’t think the coffee place we always stop at is really the right place. So instead I start to ramble as we order our mocha javas. Jensen just listens and smiles.

  
“I can’t believe you actually got me to drink this chocolately shit.” Jensen says as he sips his coffee and heads back out the door.

  
“You know you were addicted when you first had a taste. Off my lips.” I tease him.

  
Jensen doesn’t deny it and blushes instead. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who wouldn’t be able to resist all that delicious sweetness.”

  
“I’m delicious?” I ask surprised.

  
“I was talking about the coffee.” Jensen says and takes a big gulp. He’s so bullshitting me right now.

  
“Yeah well. We might have to skip our daily coffees cuz soon both of us will be out of a job. You know what, I should set you up with my manager, Mike and --”

  
“Like on a date?” Jensen looks taken aback.

  
“No, dork. So he can try to find us both a gig.”

  
Jensen looks doubtful. “I don't think that anyone will be looking to hire both of us. This was kind of a special shoot.”

  
“I know.” I slip my hand into his because we’re almost back at his place and I like the closeness we can have in public. “But you said you didn’t really like your manager and Mike’s lookin for more clients anyway. And if something does come up where someone needs two models, I know Mike would set it up for us.”

  
“Yeah…” Jensen nods as we start up the stairs to his building. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

  
I smile when he agrees and throw my coffee cup in the garbage can just inside the lobby door. “I’m gonna miss my everyday five dollar coffee fix.” I sigh sadly, frowning as my now empty coffee cup falls into the trash.

  
“You know you don’t have to get like, three extra pumps of caramel in there.” Jensen points out. "That probably costs at least an extra buck."

  
My look of pure shock makes him laugh.

  
“And besides…” He starts out slowly and I can tell he’s trying to find the right words. “I was thinking… that ya know, to cut costs and everything, that you might wanna move in with me… or I could move in with you… and that way we’d only be paying rent for one apartment and it could really save us some money while we wait to hear for a job and I know they paid us pretty well so we won’t be hurtin for awhile but it’s just an idea that--”

  
“Jensen." I stop him mid sentence. "Are you like… asking me to move in with you?” I squeak out and god yes, yes, yes I really want to.

  
He shrugs, trying to make light of it and looks down at the ugly carpet that lines the hallway his apartment is in. “Maybe. I guess. Your ass is always at my place anyway.”

  
“Hmm... I guess we could do that. But only if the sex is good.” I tease him and poke him in the ribs. He pulls me in and is just about to kiss me when I realize that his apartment door is cracked open. “Jen…” I nod towards the door and he swears under his breath, quickly heading to his place.

  
“Did you forget to close the door on our way out this morn--” He asks as he carefully pushes the door open.

  
“Jensen! Is that you honey! You’re finally home!”

  
I look from the smiling, well put together lady who has Jensen’s eyes back to Jensen, who looks really terrified.

  
“Um… mom? Mom, what the hel-heck you doin here?”

  
She smiles brightly at him until her eyes travel down to our linked fingers. Jensen quickly drops my hand and goes to embrace his mom in a hug. I can’t tell if she saw us holding hands or not.

  
The glare she gives me as Jensen is hugging her kinda tells me that she did.

“For the last time Jay...” I sigh heavily, rubbing my temples in attempt to make this headache go away. “My mom was not glaring at you!”

  
“Uhhh, Jen. I’m pretty sure she was and I’m pretty sure that I just wouldn’t make something like that up.”

  
“I didn’t say that you made it up, I said that she wasn’t glaring. My mom only glares when us kids do something really bad. Or my dad leaves wet towels on the floor. Then she glares.”

  
“You don’t think us holding hands would be considered really bad? Because I’m like almost a hundred percent sure that she saw us and that’s when the glaring started.”

  
“Jared. She didn’t see anything. Trust me, if she had, she would’ve already told me. Just relax. You’re making me nervous.”

  
“You’re nervous!” Jared exclaims, his eyes going wide. “Are you kidding me? I’m the one that--”

  
“Shut it. Here she comes.” I tell him and move away from his body. I walk to the other side of the kitchen as we both hear the toilet flush and the water at the sink start to run.

  
My whole apartment smells like this floral misty type fruity perfume that my mom wears and in a way it’s a little comforting. In another way it’s a total boner killer, and even though my dick doesn’t really know it yet, sex is the furthest thing from my mind. Poor Jared looks like he’s either going to faint or grind up against me until he gets off. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kiss him this bad.

  
Mom walks in the kitchen and smiles warmly at us, stopping at her purse to dump a blob of lotion into her palms and begins to work it around her skin. “I’m sorry to just drop in like this, sweetie. I thought that you would be home and I had taken a cab here, wanting to surprise you. I would have waited down in the lobby but that desk clerk gave me odd looks so I decided to let myself in.”

  
“It’s all good, ma. I wouldn’t have given you an extra set of keys if I didn’t think you’d use ‘em once in awhile.” I tell her easily, breathing in deep and now smelling the minty scent of the lotion.

  
“I tried to call too.” She continues. “Did you get my message?”

  
“No we were at the studi--” I nearly don’t catch myself and clear my throat.

  
“The what?”

  
“Just out. We were out and I forgot that my phone was off.”

  
“Oh.” Mom nods in understanding and turns to Jared. “So are you the famous Jared that kept my son company when he was sick a couple weeks ago?”

  
Jared nods, straightening up a little and smoothing down his shirt. “Yes Mrs. Ackles, that would be me.”

  
She waves a hand at him.“Oh honey, call me Donna.” Stepping closer to Jared, she narrows her eyes and gently puts a hand to his cheek. “Such a cute face for a young man. Just like my Jensen. Are you a male model as well?”

  
“Yes ma’am.”

  
“I know Jensen’s not having much luck finding work, how are things going for you?”

  
I feel kinda bad for lying to my mom about not working when I really do have a job. But she would want to know what it is and I’m not even gonna try to explain that one to her, even if she is pretty open minded.

  
Jared shrugs. “It’s going okay… I just talked Jensen into meeting with my agent. He’s real good at finding jobs that pay pretty well.”

  
“That’s wonderful!” Her eyes light up and she turns back to me. “Jensen, I’m so glad that you’ve found a new friend.”

  
“Mom, I have friends.”

  
“Yes, but none that I like as much as this one.”

  
Jared smiles at that and I give a smirk. I told him that mom wouldn’t glare. She’s too polite for that.

  
“So what’re you doin in this part of town anyway?” I ask her. “I thought you and dad were really busy with work lately.”

  
“We are, we are. Work sent me to pick up some files that are here at the downtown office and I wanted to see if you’d like to get dinner since I’m down this way. Jared, I hope that you can come as well if you two are free.”

  
“Oh um.” I look to Jared for some help, but I can’t read what he wants me to do. “Uh sure. Sure mom, that’d be great.”

  
“I should probably just go…” Jared says, nodding towards the door. “I don’t want to interrupt family time.”

  
“Jared I insist that you come with us.” Mom says, patting him on the arm. “It’s not often that I get taken out by two extremely handsome men. I want all the young girls to wish they were me.” She laughs and Jared does too, glancing at me and I hope that he can see that I agree with my mom and would totally like for him to come with us.

  
“Yeah okay. That sounds good.” Jared says and pats his stomach. “Jensen and I haven’t eaten in awhile anyway.”

  
“Then it’s settled!” Mom’s high heels click loudly on the floor as she gathers her purse and walks back into the living room. “Let me get my coat.”

  
As soon as she turns the corner I poke Jared in his hard stomach and whisper, “I told you she wasn’t glaring at us.”

  
He shrugs sheepishly. “So I guess I was just freaking out.”

  
“Stupid.” I tell him softly, leaning into his chest and stepping on my toes to give him a quick kiss.

  
He closes his eyes and presses his mouth against mine, opening his hands wide and holding me to him with a strong grip.

  
“Oh Jensen, I like the new stereo system! I don’t know what you’ll buy next.” Mom calls out from the other room. “Don’t tell me you have more movies since the last time I was over here. And look at all these CD’s… I didn’t know you like jazz.”

  
Jared and I listen as we continue to make out, our kisses becoming more and more heated and open with tongue and teeth. God damn, why didn’t we just go back to Jared’s house where there are no mothers or why didn’t I at least check my phone on the way home. Why, of all days, did my mom have to show up today?

  
I pull away from the kiss and whisper that I don’t have any jazz music against his lips.

  
“I know, they’re mine. Thought we could play them tonight.” Jared whispers back and that makes us start kissing with more urgency, more passion, and more desperation.

  
Mom suddenly squeaks out a little scream and at first I think that she walked in on us, but when I look, she’s nowhere in sight. “What’s this? You boys are on the cover? Jensen, you didn’t tell me you were on the cover of… Out and Exposed… is this a skiing magazine or something? Honey, you look so good…oh… oh my.”

  
Jared is still lazily kissing my lips as my mom’s words finally register in my head. “Shit! Mom! Don’t open--”

  
And it’s too late. I had completely forgotten that I’d stuck our latest addition carelessly on the coffee table with a bunch of other magazines. Fuck. My headache that was beginning to dull comes back full force, along with sweat and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I think I’m gonna puke as I watch my mom flip through pages of Jared and I covered in glitter, me wearing wings, licking down his stomach.

  
Mom just stares at the pictures. Jared stares at my mom with his mouth hanging open. I know my eyes are open, but I can’t see either one of them.

  
“Well Jensen. This is a shock.” She murmurs under her breath.

  
Jared clears his throat. “It’s just a job, ma’am. It paid well.”

  
“I hope that it did.” She says. “You two look very comfortable with each other.”

  
“Well... we  _are_ friends.” Jared points out quietly.

  
She shows us the picture of Jared biting and pulling on my bottom lip. “I can see that.”

  
“Mom…” I find my voice, but still don’t know what to say.

  
“There’s no nudity?” She asks.

  
“No.”

  
“Okay then.”

  
“Okay?”

  
“Well.” She tilts her head and looks thoughtfully at the pictures. “They are done rather tastefully I suppose.”

  
All I can do is blink at her. “Really?”

  
“Really. I know you’re a handsome man, Jensen. I’m your mom. My friend’s daughters swoon all over you. But sometimes I wish you would get out of this business. I also know that you’re incredibly smart and hope that you know that I think that too. I trust you to make your own decisions.”

  
“I do know that, mom.”

  
She smiles and drops the magazine back on the table. “Good. Now. I’m just a little overwhelmed by all this so I’m not going to ask if there’s anything going on between you two. I think that you’ll tell me when you’re ready, but I hope that’s sooner rather than later. Just not right at this minute.”

  
“Um… okay.” My vision slowly comes back into focus and I start to breathe again.

  
“Let’s eat, I’m starving.” She says and begins to put on her coat. “Jared where should we go?”

  
“Uh… well, there’s this little seafood place around the corner. It’s a little fancy but Jensen and I can change.”

  
Mom crinkles her nose. “I could go for a slice of pizza.”

  
Jared laughs and the rest of the tension eases out of the room. “My kinda lady. Jensen and I’ve been walking everywhere lately, but I can run home and get my car if you don’t want to walk.”

  
“No, no. Some fresh air would do me good, I’ve been cooped up in cabs all day long anyway.” She says and links her arm through Jared’s.

  
I watch as they both walk through the door, obviously forgetting my existence. And for some reason, I’m okay with that.

  
**

  
The next two hours went as smoothly as expected. Mom caught me almost pushing Jared’s bangs out of his eyes, but I pulled my hand back just in time. She didn’t say anything, but her eyes told me that she knew what I was going to do. Jared seemed a little nervous, but as soon as the huge pizza was put on the table, he started to ramble like usual. He opened up a lot, which surprised me a little, but it also kinda warmed me inside. Mom listened to him and asked him questions and was genuinely interested in his life. He told her about his last girlfriend who took everything he had, including his money and his heart. He said that he was really lost until I came along and made him laugh again. He doesn’t usually talk about that stuff, but I think it made her realize how important we are to each other. Once or twice he put his hand on my thigh and squeezed. If mom noticed his hand disappearing under the table, she didn’t say anything. We talked a little about Missy and how she is going to graduate soon to become a veterinarian and Tom and the some of the babysitting experience we had. She laughed and said they sounded like great people.

  
By the end of dinner, I knew she still wasn’t completely pleased that there was a possibility I could be gay. But I knew that she wouldn’t hold it against me either.

  
She kisses me on the cheek good bye and whispers something into Jared’s ear before she gets into her car. Waving, I watch as the cab takes her down the street and then ask what she had told him.

  
Jared nuzzles my neck and kisses my ear. “She said not to hurt her son.”

  
I don’t say anything as I cover his mouth with mine and slip my tongue between his open lips, flicking and caressing slowly in a deep kiss that makes my dick tingle, my knees weak, and my lungs on fire.

  
Jared pushes my mouth open even wider and suddenly pulls back. “Can we please go upstairs now?”

  
“Hell yes.”

  
**

  
I take off my shoes and my jacket as soon as we’re in my apartment. “God, I’m exhausted.”

  
Jared runs his hand down my back reassuringly. “It was a long night. We weren’t mentally prepared for that. I have to say though, your mom was pretty chill about the whole thing.”

  
“Yeah, no shit.” I breathe out a sigh of relief and lean into Jared’s touch. “It coulda been a lot worse.”

  
“Yeah.” Jared agrees. “I wonder if my mom will take it that well.”

  
I raise my eyebrows at him. “You really gonna tell her?”

  
“Well yeah. I mean… you still want me to move in… right?”

  
Nodding, I turn in his embrace and circle his waist with my arms. “I really do.”

  
“So maybe we should see about your mom giving back that key. I wouldn’t want to shock the crap outta her if she walks in on me givin you the best blow job of your life.”

  
I smile and reach for my phone in my pocket. “I know. I totally forgot I gave her a key. I had no one else to give it to in case I locked myself out or something. But now I have you. And it’s my own fucking fault for not checkin my phone.”

  
I flip it open and frown as I see two messages. One is a voice mail from mom telling me she’s waiting at the apartment and the other is from Tom, saying that they need to up the last shoot to tomorrow for some reason. He says that we’ll do the photo shoot and then we’ll head over to his place for a cookout to celebrate.

  
“Sounds like a plan.” Jared nods as he listens to the message and I text Tom back that we’ll be there at the agreed time.

  
Yawning loudly, I throw my phone on the couch.

  
“So…” Jared starts of slowly. “Are you too tired to… ya know.”

  
I can’t help but to smile. “Yeah, let’s just call it a night.”

  
The mass disappointment on Jared’s face is almost too much and I bend my head back to laugh. “I’m kidding, babe. Come on.”

  
My shirt and jeans are off as soon as I’m in the bedroom and I start to look for the new thing of lube I bought awhile ago. There’s no movement around me so I look back at Jared who is standing nervously, pointing his toe to the floor and looking down like he’s embarrassed.

  
“What’re you doin over there? Get naked already.”

  
“Um… I have a question first.”

  
“This isn’t a classroom, Jay. You don’t have to raise your hand and ask permission.” I tell him as I drop my briefs and spread out on the bed. “Now what’s up?”

  
His eyes travel down my body as he slowly starts to undress. “Well uh.  I know we’ll figure out how to do the sex part but how um… how do we know who’s gonna be top and who’s gonna be bottom?”

  
Oh. Good question. And I have no idea.

  
“Do you have a preference?” I ask.

  
His shoulders go up. “I don’t know.”

  
“Me either. I mean, your finger was up me that one time when you licked that… spot.”

  
Jared’s dick twitches as I remind him of the rimming and he shuffles out of his briefs that are now on the floor. “You liked that, huh?”

  
“More than liked.” I reach out my arm for him and he falls into the bed. Our naked bodies twine together and our dicks are already hard and leaking. His skin is cold and I roll over on top of him to warm him with my heat.

  
“So I had my finger inside you.” Jared says as he runs his hand over my shoulders and down my spine. “So does that make you bottom?”

  
“Not necessarily. Plus your tongue was in me too.” I shiver as I say the words. “And I never fingered you. You might like it more than I did.”

  
“True.” Jared says thoughtfully. He strokes my skin and smoothes his fingertips up my neck and over my cheeks as he thinks. “I guess we should both finger each other at the same time… and whoever cums first should be bottom cuz obviously it’s what feels good.”

  
I smile and have to admit, I like his reasoning. “Pretty and smart.” I tease, then kiss along his chin and jaw, feeling the stubble he missed this morning shaving under my lips.

  
The air in the room suddenly becomes hot as I begin a slow grind, my hips to his, our dicks slipping and sliding together and precum pumps out in clear waves of lust. I hold myself up with my arms, but my fingers are in Jared’s hair and his hands are kneading the soft flesh of my ass.

  
“You like that?” He asks, his voice raw and deep.

  
Unable to find the right words I nod, my tongue finding his ear to flick inside. “Mmm hmm.”

  
“Can’t wait to be inside you, Jen. Even if it’s just my fingers right now. So…” He groans as I bite his earlobe gently. “So fucking tight and warm. I love it. Love the feeling.” He continues, starting to run his long fingers along the crack of my ass, not pushing in yet but just teasing me because he can. To get his fingers closer to where I want, I spread my legs and straddle his hips so they fall deeper inside.

  
He smiles, knowing that I moved on purpose and I push back against his searching hands.

  
“I love this. Love being close to you.” I whisper, pressing my nose into his warming skin, breathing his scent that I can’t get enough of.

  
Even though I’m so fucking turned on right now, I still know that this is the first time that either of us have said love before.  Out loud, at least. Love. A simple word with one huge meaning.

  
“Wanna be closer.” Jared moans as our dicks rub and press together with heat. “Wanna be right here.” He finds my hole and runs his finger around it slowly in a circle. “Wanna be inside.” He says as he pushes against it, dipping just slightly inside to erupt a whimper from me.

  
“Lube. We need the lube.” I stop trying to fuck myself on his fingers and push off of him to get the bottle. “It’s a good thing you have long arms.” I tell him. “And long fingers.”

  
Jared sticks two fingers together as I coat them with a generous amount of lube and straddle one of his legs, sitting a little to the right side of him so I’ll still have access to his ass with my left arm. Our dicks aren’t really touching anymore but it’s not about that right now. One of my knees is pressing between his legs, right up against his tight ball sac and I have to remember not get too excited.

  
“Okay. I’m ready. Go slow.” Lifting up a little, I spread my legs as his arm reaches down and starts to circle my opening again, this time his fingers are slick and I find that I’m more than ready to ride them. He bends his fingers so they’re no longer pointing up and I start to slowly grind my sphincter along the long length, gliding forward and backward, letting the lube spread in me as I can feel his knuckles bump against my hole.

  
“God Jen, you have no idea how hot you look right now.” Jared pants, his mouth open so he can breathe easier. He points his fingers again and I slide down on one finger as he pushes in at the same time.

  
“Oh.” I freeze as his finger enters me all the way and I slowly sink down. “Oh s-shit that feels weird.” I can feel that he’s trying to put another finger in and I lift up for him to do it. It goes in slowly and I push back, fighting the slight burn and concentrating on the pleasure.

  
“All the way in.” Jared says, wiggling his fingers a little inside of me.

  
“Jay! God, don’t do that yet. Give me a minute.”

  
He grunts in frustration but stills his hand. I push up on his stomach with my palms so I’m sitting on his fingers inside me. “Stay still. Don’t you dare move.” I tell him and jerk his cock in my hand quickly, feeling him grow harder and then I jerk myself to release some ache. Jared watches as I grab the lube and he moves his leg that I’m not straddling up on the bed. I make good use of the lube and as I run the tips of my fingers around his dark entrance, I squeeze my ass hard around him.

  
“Oh fuck, Jensen. Please hurry. Please, please, please.”

  
Jared continues to beg as I watch with fascination. My finger disappears slowly inside of him and I pull out only to push back in again. Jared lifts his leg even higher, which I take as a good sign and I twist my finger around, exploring and rubbing around with the pads of my finger. He’s so tight and I can’t imagine my dick being inside of him. Okay, that’s a lie because I totally can and I want to work him even more open. He cries out and squirms as I push my other finger in, the sweat is making his skin glow and I can’t decide if I want to watch his face or his ass. He suddenly relaxes and my fingers are completely inside.

  
“You okay Jay?”

  
“So good.”

  
“Can’t believe we waited this long to do this.”

  
“Can I fuck you now? Please say yes.”

  
I flex my ass again and clench hard, pulling up on his fingers and sinking back down.

  
“Fuck. I’ll take that as a yes!”

  
“Fuck yourself on me first, Jay. C’mon do it. Look so good spread around me. Opened up for me.” My fingers stay still as Jared lifts up and slides back down over and over again as he fucks himself on my fingers. I finally can’t take it anymore and lean up to kiss him, thrusting my tongue inside his mouth, my dick laying along his hipbone and we both begin to press as far inside of each other as we can.

  
I’m riding him hard and he’s grinding just as hard into my hand. His fingers are long and reaching places that I never thought were there. He scissors them apart and I can feel the stretch that feels good and right and suddenly he moves to a perfect spot that makes my breath catch.

  
“Oh yeah. Yes. Fucking holy shit yes. Don’t stop. Don’t… oh right there.” I have no idea if Jared can understand a word I’m saying but I can’t stop my mouth.

  
Jared presses even harder. “Like that? Want you to feel so good.” He whispers breathlessly.

  
“Feels good babe. You feel that? You feel this good too?”

  
His face is blissed out, but I know it’s not the same as what I’m experiencing. As hard as it is, I try to ignore my brewing orgasm and focus on him, searching inside until his eyes open wide with pure ecstasy, rolling back and he starts to gasp for breath.

  
“Oh I’m gonna cum Jen. Gonna cum so hard.”

  
Me too. Me too. Me too. And just when we find a rhythm of pulling out and  pushing in, touching and rubbing over that spot, fucking each other at the same time with the same speed, I’m done for. My cum seeps out of me like a fountain and I close my eyes because it feels so fucking good, nothing like I’ve ever felt before. As I cum I can feel my ass grip around Jared and convulse, almost winking as it just brings his fingers in further.

  
Jared starts to move faster and I fuck him quicker. “Jensen… god, Jensen I fucking… I--” He wheezes as he squirts cum all over his stomach without me even touching his dick. His cum continues to trickle out and I reach with my tongue to take his spent cock in my mouth. Jared lets out one more groan and I start to pull my fingers out, but he grips them back hard with his ass.

  
“Wait. Just wait.”

  
I kiss up his chest as we’re still linked together and end at his mouth, pushing some of his cum between his lips.

  
We ride out the last few seconds of our orgasms with our fingers still buried deep in each other and finally pull out, wiping our hands on the sheets without care.

  
“Screw the sex. We can just do this from now on.”

  
I give a little laugh at that and collapse to the side of Jared. “So. I guess I’m the bottom.”

  
“Jen…” Jared looks concerned and throws his arm around me. “If you don’t want to then that’s fine.”

  
I kiss him again and sigh contently. “I’d bottom for you any day, Jared. Any day. Any time. Any where.”

  
“Can I call you my bottom bitch boy?” He teases.

  
“No.”

  
“Can we get up early before work and have sex?”

  
“Yes.”

  
“Can I bottom sometimes too?”

  
“Hmm…” I think about it and yawn. “We’ll see.”

  
Jared plants a warm kiss to my temple and snuggles into me.

  
I want to ask if I can tell him that I’m in love with him. I want to ask if he’ll freak out. I want to ask if he loves me too. I want to ask all these questions, but I’m scared of the answers that I might get back.

  
Jared moves in even closer, trapping my legs with his and covers my chest with the span of his hand. “Never want to leave.” He sighs softly. “Always stay, spend every night… can’t wait to move in. Your mom can visit.”

  
Smiling, I let the worry flow from my body. Maybe Jared does love me too.

 

 **Jared's POV**

  
I wake up slowly from a sound sleep. Jensen's maroon curtains are trying to hold back the beginnings of bright sunlight that wants to flood the silent bedroom with warmth, but for right now the walls glow a dim purple and there's still a slight chill in the air.

  
"M'cold." Jensen mumbles on the other side of me and nuzzles his nose in the back of my neck, his arms circling around my waist to pull me closer.

  
Even though our skin is hot from being under the blankets and from being wrapped around each other all night, his nose is a little on the cold side. I turn to face him and slide my palm up his spine, my fingers landing in his hair as I start to stroke the soft locks. "Want me to warm you up, baby?"

  
Jensen's eyes are still closed and he doesn't say anything. The corners of his lips start to curl though so I know he's at least paying attention.

  
"I could warm you up from the inside out. Nice n'slow. Make you all hot… all the way from your toes… to the tip of your nose." I tell him quietly, trying to hold in a laugh because of how cheesy that just sounded. Jensen can't hold in his giggle though, but I kiss his cold nose anyway.

  
"Hey I'm tryin to be all romantic n'shit at…" I roll over to look at the clock. "At almost nine in the morning and I'm getting laughed at here."

  
"Ah Jay." Jensen smiles wider and finally opens his eyes a little. My breath hitches as he looks at me with lazy green slits between long lashes. "You don't have to try so hard." He slides one of his legs over my hip and curls it around my body. "Trust me."

  
I place a small kiss on his forehead while he brings my hand that was holding the small of his back to my lips and thrusts two of my fingers in my own mouth. I should be fully awake for this. I really should be, but I'm still just waking up and Jensen's eyes are closed again so I know he's still sleepy too. My arm is heavy as I move it down his body and find his tight opening. We fit together closely, chests pressing together; our bodies a perfect match and when our lips meet, we begin to softly kiss.

  
My fingers are slow against his sensitive skin and if my morning wood could be any harder, I'd be scared for myself. Jensen starts to grind his hips against my body and his ass spreads even more open as he moves his leg up further.

  
"Morning sex is so hot." I whisper against his lips and start to gently rub over his hole, making his body twitch with sparks of pleasure.

  
"Shhh. M'not even awake yet." Jensen murmurs and snuggles even closer. He smells so good. Like his own scent but ten times stronger. He doesn't taste much like anything, but as I slide my tongue in his warm mouth my heart beats faster from the contact. I swallow thickly as my thoughts wander to last night. His sphincter is still tight as hell, but he seems to be more relaxed and his muscles are welcoming the intrusion of my finger. I still can't believe that I fucked myself on his fingers and the way he rode mine like a fuckin champ. It felt so good being inside of him and I can't wait to get my dick in that pretty ass of his. That pretty ass that's all mine.

  
"Jensen…" I begin as I shift to lay over him. "Wanna be inside of you so bad."

  
He moans in protest and tackles me down, lying on top of me and lining our dicks up as he continues to thrust. "Not yet. Not awake. Just like this. Wanna cum like this right now." He rolls his hips again and god, maybe this is a good idea because as much as I want to have sex right now, I doubt I'll even last more than a few minutes.

  
The kisses he starts to press across my collarbone are delicate and while his eyes are still closed, his dick is flushed and so hard against mine. He spreads his legs and trails his lips over to my ear, biting and mouthing my earlobe as he whispers. "Want you to finger fuck me though. Nice n'slow. Stretch me out nice n'good. Love havin’ your finger up… oh god… yes."

  
He trembles as my finger pushes further into him and it's a little dry, but he seems okay with it. With our dicks slipping and sliding and my finger up his ass and Jensen's lips cherry pink and his eyes such a sleepy green, I can't help the tightness in my lungs and my breath comes out in short little pathetic pants, like a man desperate for air. I could do this every day; every morning. And I get to because I am moving in with him. Me. Moving in with Jensen. And we get to have sex whenever we want. Sex. And damn, it was just a few months ago that I had never even considered having sex with a guy. But Jensen isn't just some guy. He's so fucking special that it hurts to think of living life without him.

  
"Oh fuck yes, Jay. Right there. Please rub it harder. Feels so fucking good."

  
I tap lightly on the bundle of nerves inside of him as I try to wiggle my finger further in his tightness. I reach down with my other hand and wrap it around our flushed cocks, jerking us in a slow motion. Jensen whimpers when he cums. I've never seen him breathe so hard and have such a concentrated look on his face as he squirts white all over my chest. I feel his ass clamp around my finger and I cum as well, the thick semen spilling over my hand and seeping over Jensen's cock as I collide the wet heads of our dicks together.

  
"That was kinda fast." Jensen says, amused; as he slumps into my chest, his hips still rocking as we both come down from our orgasms.

  
"Hey. It's early." I remind him. "We haveta get rid of our morning boner somehow."

  
"Yeah." Jensen agrees and smacks my lips with his, rolling all the way off of me and settling by my side. "And now we get to do this every morning. Or afternoon; depending on what time I decide to get up. In my bed… in our bed."

  
"Hmm… I don't know." I tell him as I start to test the bounciness of the mattress. "Think I might like my bed better. We might have some switchin’ to do."

  
"Your bed is better." He nods. "Well, at least your pillows are. Don't know if your bed will fit in here though."

  
"Well…" I start slowly and tangle our legs as I curl into him as much as possible, nestling my cheek against his and feeling his morning stubble. "You think we should go by my place before the studio? Start packing things up and getting everything together? Take some measurements n'shit? We have about two weeks until the first of the month and rent will be due. Think we can get it done before then so I won't have to pay another month's rent? And, ya know, the sooner we can start living together the better cuz well… yeah."

  
Jensen strokes his hand up my shoulder and cups my face, tilting my head so we can kiss at a proper angle. "I think that sounds like a kick ass idea."

  
***

  
"Dude. You so need to get rid of this."

  
"Jen! I can't! That's my lucky bucky half beaver half bear animal thing that I've had since I was a kid."

  
"Yeah well…" Jensen crooks his eyebrow up and stares at my precious stuffed animal that was well placed under my bed until a few seconds ago. "It's freakin’ me out. Where the hell did you get something like this in the first place? Santa's shop for mutilated stuffed animals?"

  
"No." I tell him with a huff and snatch it out of his hands, hugging the half beaver half bear to my chest. "My mom got it for me at a lodge where we were camping one time. I was scared of the dark or something so she bought it and I slept with it every night."

  
"Awww. Jay was scared of the big bad darkness monster." Jensen teases as he moves towards me. He grabs the stuffed animal and hurls it across the room. "And I'm scared of that thing. It's gonna give me nightmares with that buck tooth and weirdo crazy eyes."

  
"Hmm. Well I guess I can cuddle with you at night instead, if I have to." I tell him dryly, but still plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Can I at least put it in a box? My mom will kill me if she finds out that I threw it away."

  
"Well duh Jay. You can't just throw something like that out…" He trails off as he holds up this gross partially melted green candle that has hair stuck in the wax. "This, on the other hand; could probably be trashed."

  
"Yeah." I agree and turn to my dvd collection. We'd have a lot of double movies if we were to put his collection and mine together. "What about some of these that you already have? Think I should give 'em to Tom?"

  
Jensen nods as he peers over my shoulder. "Oh yeah. I'm sure Missy would totally be okay with him watching Big Boobed Babes Bang at the Beach."

  
"Well not that one." I roll my eyes. "We'd obviously have to keep this in case our sex life gets boring and we need porn to spice things up."

  
Jensen laughs and shakes his head. I watch as his jeans tighten over his ass as he bends to pick something up off the floor. As he straightens, he stands tall and his red t-shirt spreads thinly over the muscles in his back. His bowed legs are long under the denim and if I didn't have any control over myself, I'm sure I'd start to drool. I throw the porno I had bought when I was a horny nineteen year old in the trash pile because there's no way anything will ever need to be spiced up in our bedroom. I have the fucking cutest, hottest, sexiest boyfriend in the whole world. And right now I kinda want to jump him and throw him down and blow his dick so good that his head will be spinning.

  
My thoughts get interrupted when there's a knock at the door though. I have to think about baseball for a couple of seconds in order for the tent in my jeans to go down before I answer it.

  
"Expectin’ someone, Jay?" Jensen asks. I shake my head and shrug my shoulders as I carefully step over a box to get to the door, flinging it open as I end up tripping over my own two feet anyway.

  
"Jared."

  
My mouth goes instantly dry as my mind registers her here. At my doorstep; in the flesh. The one that stole practically everything I had, heart included. The girl that made me feel numb inside for months. The one that made me lose sleep and my appetite for weeks. The girl I wished would come back to me for so long.

  
She smiles warmly at me. "Jared… gosh, it's so good to see you."

  
"Wha--" It comes out choked and I clear my throat. "What're you doin here?"

  
"I just came by to say that I'm sorry…" Her brown eyes float to the floor and she looks so much smaller than I remember her. She's wearing a black dress and her chestnut hair is pulled back from her face. Her tan skin is golden and I wonder if she went to some beach on my dime. A lot of people would think that she's beautiful, but I don't even see her as being pretty anymore. "And just that… well, I was hoping maybe we could try to work things out between us and maybe start over—Jared… are you moving?" She asks as her gaze travels past me to the boxes sitting on the floor.

  
"Yeah."

  
"Oh." Her eyes crunch in confusion.

  
I don't know if it's because of the news that I'm moving or because Jensen is suddenly at my side. "Hey Jare, you okay?" He eyes her suspiciously and I can tell he already knows who she is.

  
"Yeah. Just fine babe."

  
She raises her eyebrows and it's funny because I hadn't even called Jensen babe on purpose. It comes so naturally now and I remember how she used to hate it when I called her that, how she would roll her eyes and tell me that her name wasn't babe or baby.

  
Jensen circles my waist with his arm protectively and lowers his eyes to an almost glare. "Can we help you?"

  
She snaps on her hundred watt smile, looking Jensen up and down and twitching the corner of her lips with approval. "Hi. I'm--”

  
"Just an old friend." I cut her off and lean in to briefly run my mouth over Jensen's temple. "Who can't stay."

  
"Oh." She says again and an understanding hardens her dark eyes. "Um. Okay. Yeah. I guess I'm leaving then."

  
"Nice meeting you." Jensen says flatly and slams the door shut.

  
I continue to stare at the door as we hear her footsteps lead away from my apartment. "Wow."

  
"Dude…" Jensen tries to find his words. "I can't believe she showed up here. I mean, that was her wasn't it? That'd be pretty bad if I just slammed the door in the face of someone who really was an old friend of yours."

  
"That was her."

  
He bites his bottom lip nervously. "You okay?"

  
"… no. But I will be." I sigh and I don't want to tell him that I'm a little shaky. I head towards the couch and fall into the cushions. Jensen just looks at me like he doesn't know what to do. Truthfully, I don't know what I want him to do either. I just can't believe she came back.

  
"I can't believe she really had big enough balls to come back here." Jensen says, speaking my own thoughts out loud. "And ask you for another chance. That bitch." He cringes as the word slips. "Sorry… I know you really loved her and everything… but she is a bitch…"

  
"Yeah."

  
"Jared?" Jensen says my name with concern and a hint of worry. He crosses his arms over his chest and normally when he does, I stare in amazement at how his biceps look huge but toned at the same time. Now I'm just looking at him blankly. "You're not considering… I mean… you… don't want to get…" He swallows anxiously and sheer panic widens his green eyes. "Get back together with her… right? Do you?"

  
His voice is so soft and small that I have to shake myself out of it. I slowly get up and capture his jaw in my hand. "Never even think that again, Jensen. Never. You hear me? I would never leave you to be with her or anyone else. I'm so fucking in lo--… look, just promise me that you will never think something like that again."

  
Jensen leans in and kisses me softly. "Promise."

  
We embrace each other for a couple of minutes and I whisper a few reassuring words in Jensen's ear and as he rubs up and down my back. Finally, we break away from each other and he tells me that we should head out soon if we want to get to the studio on time. I nod and pick up a few more things and throw them in the closest box to me in silence, letting my thoughts wander from her as much as possible.

  
"Hey Jen?" I ask suddenly. "Does your apartments allow dogs? My place isn't big enough and I always kinda wanted one… or two."

  
"Yeah I think they do."

  
"You wouldn't mind if we go to one of those rescued animal places next week, would ya?" I ask hopefully.

  
Jensen takes in a deep breath. "I dunno, Jay. Don't you think moving in is fast enough? Now we're gonna have a dog together? That's a huge commitment man."

  
My eyes almost fall all the way with disappointment, but then I catch Jensen's smile and the tease in his eyes.

  
"Asshole." I call him fondly and tackle him to carpet, covering his face in kisses once I get a good hold on him. He wrestles his body on top of mine and kisses all over my face as well, until I laugh so hard that I can't breathe.

  
****

  
"See babe, you don't even need a dog when I can lick you." Jensen says and swipes his tongue across my cheek. "And I can cuddle you… and… I like it when you pet me a whole damn lot."

  
"Oh yeah?" I smile as we climb up the stairs towards the studio. "You gonna play fetch with me too?"

  
"Well if I get good reward." He answers, eying my lips. "Maybe."

  
"You gonna get up early in the morning and go on a run with me?"

  
Jensen crinkles his nose. "Okay, okay. Point taken. We can get a dog."

  
I laugh as I push open the door and see Tom and Missy scramble to hide something they were looking at on Tom's desk. "Uh… hey… Hey!" Tom says a little too loudly as Missy flings something else in her backpack. "What's up?"

  
Jensen and I share a look but I shrug it off and plop down on the couch. "Nothing much. What're you guys up to?"

  
"Uhhh… nothing."

  
After a brief awkward second, Jensen claps his hands and rubs them together. "Okay then. What's on the last set list? I know it'll be good since it's the last shoot ever."

  
"I'm gonna miss this place." I sigh sadly and walk over to Tom and Missy, who are both surprised as I hug them to my chest. "I'm gonna miss you guys."

  
"Uh Jared?" Tom laughs and shoves me away. "I'm sure we'll still see plenty of each other."

  
"Yeah." I sniff. "Yeah I guess so."

  
"Such a sap." Jensen mutters and gives me a slap on the shoulder. "So… Tom? What's the plan for today?"

  
Tom hesitates and Missy looks away. Oh great. Usually this isn't a good sign because if we're doing something that's lame, they tease us about it right off the bat. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore though. Nothing they say can shock me now.

  
"Oh whatever guys. Just tell us already. I mean, what haven't we done? Cops and robbers maybe? Do I get to handcuff Jensen and frisk his ass?" I guess, smiling as Jensen starts to get flush at the neck. Hmm. That might be kinda fun. "Or maybe we'll be sailors… I know we look hot in uniforms. Or pirates. That'd be cool to be a pirate. Arrrrgh. No? Hmm. Dude, do we have to wear tuxes? Maybe we'll be priests or something kinky." I crinkle my nose. "Or maybe--"

  
"Jay, shut it!" Jensen moans and starts to rub his temples.

  
"No! I'm gonna guess this!" I look around the room for any clues, but there's nothing.

  
Jensen pleads to Tom with his eyes. "For the love of god, please just tell us so he'll stop."

  
"Okay, okay, okay…" Tom says, putting his hands up and then moving to swing his camera bag over his shoulder.

  
Uh oh. I know what this means. "Outside the studio again?"

  
Tom nods. "Yeah, but it's a closed set so it won't be as bad as the car and mechanics shoot. The magazine shelled out the big bucks this time."

  
"Sweet." Jensen smiles and looks fairly pleased. "So let's go. I'm starving and feel like some of your barbeque, Tom."

  
"Sounds good." Tom agrees and heads for the door. "You guys won't need anything. The set is in a building that's a couple blocks down. We'll take my car since I'll need to set up some lights n'shit."

  
Ten minutes later we're all cramped in Tom's small little car with his huge camera case on my lap. "So you still haven't told us what the set actually is." I remind him, shifting slightly so my leg is pressed up against Jensen's.

  
Tom glances at Missy for some help. "Well…" She starts, looking out of the window as the neighborhood houses and complexes go by. Tom's hand is laying across her knee in a loving way and she rests her fingers on top of his wrist. "I guess you kinda just have to see it to understand. It's kinda hard to explain. It'll be real cool though, Jared. Trust me. You'll love it."

  
"Mmm." I mutter doubtfully, but when Jensen just shrugs his shoulder I figure that whatever it is, it couldn't really be that bad.

  
We stop in front of an odd looking building and Tom tells us to stay in the lobby while he and Missy make sure everything is set up and that there's no other people hanging around.

  
"This is kinda weird." Jensen whispers.

  
"Yeah. It is." I walk over to the fake plant in the corner and flick at the shiny leaf.

  
"Should we be nervous or something? I think I'm nervous."

  
"Don't be nervous, dork. Tom wouldn't make us do anything--"

  
"Okay guys." Missy walks into the room and motions for us to follow her. "It's all set up. Come on back."

  
Jensen's green eyes widen and I grab his hand. This is probably the weirdest thing I've ever had to do. We walk behind Missy to the outside of the building, which is still enclosed by large walls with thick grey bricks. I kinda feel like I'm surrounded by the walls of a really old, really cool castle. The sun is high and shining brightly down in all the places where trees aren't blocking the rays. I spot Tom's cameras and him standing close to one of the walls and now I'm really confused because what's so great about a freakin wall?

  
"So this is where we'll be shooting for today." Tom starts, already adjusting the lens on his favorite camera. "I guess you could call it a rain theme or something because you see those." He points to several drains that are lined in the ground. "Those will catch all the water coming from this water machine contraption thing." He says and nods towards this huge hose, pointed way up on the wall.

  
I see Jensen's eyebrows go up in surprise. "Oh. Well I guess that's not so bad."

  
"Yeah." I agree. "We'll probably look like prunes by the time we're done though."

  
"You'll be the sexiest prune around." Jensen tells me and I roll my eyes at him, but still can't help a smile that forms on my lips.

  
"Here." Missy starts digging around in a huge tote bag that she brought with her. "You guys won't need any make-up because it would just get washed off anyways, but you can change into these." She pulls out two sets of jeans, thin white t-shirts, and white boxer briefs. "You can change over there."

  
"This is it?" I ask as I take the clothes from her.

  
She shrugs and tells me that they probably wanted to keep it as simple as they could when considering the elaborate set.

  
Jensen and I head over to the enclosed patio where she pointed and start to strip off our own clothes. As soon as I'm down to my blue briefs, shaking out the white one's that the magazine provided for us, Jensen covers my back with his chest and leans all his weight on me. "Can't wait to get you all hot and wet under me… you look good enough to eat in the shower. I can hardly imagine what you're gonna look like out there. Naked. Dripping. Wet."

  
"Jen. C'mon. Please." I beg, trying not to get a hard on right now. "Don't get me all riled up or they're gonna see the outline of my shlong as soon as the water hits these white briefs."

  
"Mmm… god that's gonna be so hot." Jensen whispers as he mouths hotly over my ear and slides his hand in my briefs, right past my dick and to my balls, giving them a playful tug.

  
"Stop it. Stop it right now, Jen." I grab his hand out of my underwear so fast that the elastic snaps my skin. "Ow! Damnit!"

  
Jensen snickers behind me and finishes changing. I watch from a safe distance so I won't be tempted to touch him and I start to think about tonight and how we'll finally be able to have sex. Sex. I just hope after this shoot we won't be so hard and leaking that all we'll want to do it jump each other... because that would be really awkward at Tom's house.

  
The water is already pouring over the grey wall and I kinda frown at all the water that we're wasting, but I don't have time to dwell on it before I see Tom. In a bright yellow rain poncho and yellow shoe covers. With plastic all over his camera; protecting it from the spray. Jensen and I both start cracking up as he shoots us a glare.

  
"Shut up, asshats!" Tom yells and slips clear glasses over his eyes.

  
Missy tries not to laugh with us but she's covering her mouth as she sinks into a chair that's a safe distance from the water.

  
Jensen and I are still laughing when we walk over to the water and we feel the mist as we get closer. "Holy crap that's cold." I squeak and Jensen jumps a little too.

  
"They said it'd warm up after a couple minutes." Missy shouts as she puts up an umbrella and then guards her bare legs with it.

  
"I'll warm you up till then, babe." I tell Jensen in my deep-overly-manly-sexy voice that always gets a laugh outta him. This time is no different and Jensen leans into my arm while he shakes his head with amusement.

  
"M'kay guys. Stand in front of the water a little so you're not completely soaked yet. And I don't know…" Tom is muttering under his breath and it's hard to hear him over the machine. "Look at the sky or something. Like it's about to rain."

  
"This is kinda stupid." Jensen whispers and I kinda have to agree, but once we move under the water I'm sure we'll get caught up in it like we usually do.

  
I stand behind Jensen and put my chin on his shoulder, sliding my hands over the white t-shirt that he's wearing. We look into the distance and squint our eyes towards the sky. I run my nose through his hair, the soft hair at his temple, and breathe in deeply while I close my eyes. After a few seconds I tilt his head to the side so I can get at his neck with my lips and even though Missy and Tom are right here, this feels so comfortable.

  
So right.

  
So us.

  
This time we're not pretending to be anyone else and we're so beyond the stages of trying to look romantic and not really being sure if it was real.

  
And this is so fucking real.

  
We move backwards, further into the water, until my foot hits the wall and I lean on it, pulling Jensen tightly to my chest. I push my hand underneath the white t-shirt that's becoming thinner by the second as the water washes over us. I twist at his nipple under the fabric with one hand and with the other I scratch over his stomach muscles with my fingertips. I'm not sure what expression Jensen has on his face, but I hope it's as spent as it was this morning. I can't stop licking him, catching the thick streams of water that are flowing down his skin. The water is still a little cold but his heat warms it up as my tongue catches the drops. I swallow all that I can and continue to run my lips anywhere that they can reach.

  
Tom moves closer to us slowly, his camera practically glued to his eye and he motions for Jensen's shirt to come off. It clings to him as I start to lift it over his chest. Jensen raises his arms for me and I slide it up and off, flinging it to the ground. He shoves his hands through his hair as it flattens on top of his head, but it doesn't do much good since the pressure continues to flow from above. It doesn't matter though because he looks so fucking amazing like this, almost like the water is slowly breaking him, cracking him open with cold trails and leaving behind goose bumps on his skin.

  
His eyelashes are an incredible dark black and his eyes are a brilliant green as he silently talks to me. He turns all the way around and pushes at my chest, his gaze drifting down to my stomach that is visible through the thin t-shirt I'm wearing. He thumbs at my nipples slowly over the material, stretching it out until it's clear that my nipples are hard and sensitive against his touch. My shirt is off faster than I realize and his fingers are digging at the button and zipper of my jeans. He's looking at me like he's starved and doesn't quite know where to start.

  
The water is loud and I can tell that Jensen wants to say something. I lean in close to his perfect mouth and he smiles wickedly. "Gonna take of those jeans now. Wanna see all of you…" He glances over to where Tom is still snapping pictures. "That I can."

  
I grin too and shake my head. "Not if I get you out of those first." Quickly, I unbutton his jeans and push them down only a little, so there's just enough room for me to grab at his ass under the wet denim. I squeeze hard and massage the soft plump flesh. He's about to rest his weight on me but I drop to my knees instead, pulling down his jeans as I go and kissing down his stomach that is dripping with water.

  
I growl, trying to keep it together and as the water hits the white briefs that Jensen's wearing, his hardening cock becoming very noticeable through the thinning fabric, I almost completely lose it. I press my mouth along the line of his dick, just because I can, and I can feel him tremble underneath me. Starting to push my own jeans down, I start to kiss back up his chest at the same time, until our lips almost touch.

  
He moves his mouth away and we both step out of the soaked jeans. Our wet bodies clad in only white briefs begin to press and push together. We're smart enough not to start grinding, but we still caress each other with enough pressure to cause small moans to escape our mouths. Jensen bends forward and I arch my back off the wall as he flicks his tongue across one nipple, then kisses the middle of my chest, and finally sticks his tongue way out to gather all the water that he can. My dick is curved painfully in the briefs and I'm about to adjust my package when Tom gets our attention telling us that we're done.

  
I start to relax as Jensen holds out one finger to Tom, telling him that we'll be just another second, and then he pulls my neck down and we kiss. It isn't some innocent, simple, how-you'd-kiss-a-guy-you-hardly-know kinda kiss, but it is a kiss full of passionate need and want, it's raw and genuine and so lust-induced that I almost buckle at the knees. We're not supposed to kiss in front of the camera but maybe since this is the last shoot, the last time that Jensen and I will probably ever be together in pictures of a magazine, then maybe we'll let those gay guys see what they want.

  
Our lips finally separate and I take one final look at Jensen's pretty face as water drips from every perfect feature. Enhancing his eyes, clinging to his eyelashes; trickling down his narrow cheeks. Gathering at his collarbone, beginning clear trails down his strong chest.

  
His lips are starting to turn a hint of blue though so I grab his hand and lead him over to the tables and chairs where Missy had been sitting. She's not there anymore but there are two towels in her place and I toss one to Jensen. I kiss the tip of his nose to get the last drop of water there and I want to rub his shoulders to get him warm again, but Tom's coming over and that would just be weird.

  
"Hey guys that was great." Tom says and starts to take off that ridiculous looking rain poncho.

  
"Where'd Missy go?" Jensen asks.

  
"She had to pick up the girls from the sitter. She took a cab so she'll meet us back at the apartment. You guys were under there for awhile. You okay?"

  
I look at Jensen and the color is starting to come back to his lips and cheeks. "We're fine." He replies.

  
"Cool. Well let me clean up here while you guys get dressed. I need to stop at the studio and do a few things before we head back to my place and then I'll cook up a storm for ya guys."

  
Jensen nods and I smile as I wrap my towel around my waist. "Let me guess. Missy's already started to cook, huh?"

  
Tom looks guilty and shrugs. "Well she wanted to make all this fancy salad crap. But I tried to tell her all we wanted was meat. And beer. So she's leaving the grilling part to me."

  
Jensen gives me a slap on the ass. "Well what're we waitin’ for? There's beer to be drinkin’ and meats to be eaten. And Jared secretly wants to play with the babies!"

  
"Jen! God. Shut up!" I gasp in horror and embarrassment because he totally figured me out. I must turn beat red and now I can't even deny that I'm looking forward to seeing Tom's twins again.

  
"I know you too damn well, Padalecki."

  
"Yeah. You do. You know me very well."

  
***

  
The smell of baby powder hits me as I step in Tom's place and I breathe deeply, cherishing the scent that I don't get to savor that often. Missy is already out on the porch with Ava and Olivia and she sets them down in a playpen when she hears us come in. 

  
"Hey guys! How'd the rest of the shoot go?"

  
"Pretty good. Got the grill goin’, babe?" Tom asks, leaning in to kiss her lightly on the lips. Missy smiles while she nods, flushing in her cheeks at the affection in front of us.

  
"Hiya Miss!" I call out to her and kinda just shove my way to the patio.

  
I can hear Jensen laugh and Missy and Tom make fun of me, but I don't care. As I lift Ava in my arms, I probably smile so wide that my face could crack in half. Sitting on a chair, I put Ava in my lap and lift Olivia up too. I probably sound like an idiot when I start to talk to them softly.

  
The three of them stay inside for a couple of minutes until Missy comes out and sits next to me. "The girls love you."

  
"They're getting so big." I tell her.

  
She nods and strokes the soft curls on the back of Olivia's head. "Yeah they are. They're growin’ outta clothes like I can't believe."

  
We play with the babies some more, making them laugh and giving them kisses on their chubby cheeks. "So how're things with you and Tom?" I ask.

  
Missy immediately brightens. "Really great. I couldn't be happier. It's like… it's like how I always thought it would be, ya know?"

  
"Yeah, I'm definitely familiar with the feeling."

  
She smiles knowingly. "So does that mean things with you and Jensen are going well too?"

  
I dunk my head sheepishly because I'm trying not to gush. "Yeah. They really are."

  
"Jensen told us that you-know-who stopped by." Missy says. "He didn't seem too upset about it though. I can't believe she came by your place."

  
"Yeah no shit. We couldn't believe it either, trust me. It kinda felt good to tell her to fuck off though."

  
Missy raises one eyebrow and pushes her silky dark hair behind her shoulder. "I bet."

  
"So…" I hear the door sliding open and smile as Jensen and Tom come out with a plate of meat that needs to be grilled. "Did Jensen tell you what we were doin’ at my place?"

  
Missy narrows her eyes. "No…"

  
"We don't need to hear about your faggy humpin’ details, please." Tom jokes.

  
"Har har." Jensen laughs and slips his hand at the nape of my neck, massaging my skin with his fingers. "Don't be a hater."

  
"Anyway." I clear my throat and peer up at Jensen. He's smiling down at me so I know its okay to tell them. "We're kinda moving in together. And we're getting a dog!"

  
"Really?!" Missy squeaks and if it wasn't for the baby in her lap, I think she would've jumped up. "That's great!"

  
Jensen moves his hand to my shoulder and squeezes. "Yeah. It really is."

  
I don't know why, but it surprises me when he leans down to brush my lips with his. Missy and Tom barely bat an eye at us though and it's kinda nice.

  
It's nice being real outside of the studio.

  
Jensen squats next to me and says hi to Ava. When she grabs his finger and tugs, Jensen pretends to fall and tells Tom that his kid has some muscle. He leans into my legs and I spread my feet apart so he can get comfortable between them. I stroke my fingers along his ear and he presses into my touch.

  
Missy and Tom are busy with the grill but when everything seems to be set, Missy turns to us and smiles like she's trying really hard not to give something away. "So… we have some news too…"

  
"Oh yeah?" I ask, shifting Ava in my lap. "What's that?"

  
"Well… umm… Tom and I are kinda getting married."

  
Silence fills the air as Jensen and I take in the information.

  
Two seconds later there's still no champagne, but we're all raising our beer bottles and clinking the glass in a toast.

  
"Dude! Congrats! Can't believe you're getting hitched, man. That's so great." Jensen says and pats Tom on the back.

  
"Tell me something I don't know." Tom smiles and pulls Missy close to him. "I just feel like a dumbass that it took me so long to ask her."

  
Missy turns to him and whispers something in his ear that sounds something like "would have waited, always was you."

  
Jensen and I "Awwww" dramatically and now both Tom and Missy begin to blush. "Oh! And we have something for you!" Missy says and this time she actually does hop up. She puts Olivia in the playpen and lifts Ava from my lap to do the same. I give whine in protest but Missy just rolls her eyes at me.

  
Tom's still manning the grill as Missy runs into the apartment and in a minute, she's handing both Jensen and I huge wrapped packages.

  
"What's this?" I ask.

  
"Well since you and Jensen kinda helped bring me and Tom together, we wanted to do something for you guys."

  
Jensen shakes his head and tells them that they didn't have to do this at all.

  
"We know." Tom says. "But it's not much. Hope you like it."

  
I tear at the paper and my lungs tighten as the framed pictures are unraveled. They're all in black and white, one from each of our photo shoot, and they all capture me and Jensen in a genuine pose, nothing like the photos that ended up in the magazines. Even the first one where we met for the very first time, when we were dressed as businessmen, looks like Jensen and I had known each other for years. Our hair is all slicked back and we're in suits, and I'm looking straight at the camera while Jensen is watching me with this fond expression on his face.

  
The second picture is only waist up and Jensen and I don't have our shirts on, but we're both wearing those stupid cowboy hats. Our backs are to the camera and we're looking at each other while holding hands, fingers grasped tight. 

  
In the third photo Jensen and I must've been goofing off because we're dressed in baseball uniforms, but for some reason we're laughing our asses off. Jensen's eyes are crinkled in the corners and his head is thrown back. I wish I could remember what was so funny.

  
The next picture shows Jensen looking off in the distance, but I'm staring at him like his face had put me in a trance. My eyes are glued to his nose and I remember thinking that his freckles are probably my favorite feature of his. Not my only favorite, but definitely my most favorite.

  
We all start laughing when I flip to the next photo. Jensen's smiling at me, but his eyebrows are raised because one of my legs is thrown around his body, like I'm trying to climb him or something. It's silly, but completely us.

  
God. The last picture that I have is of me lying across the top of that beat up old car and Jensen is lying on top of me. We're down to our white briefs and Jensen's lips are just hovering over mine. I'm arching off the car to get as close as I can and the muscles in his arms are bulging because he's holding himself up. I think this might be my favorite.

  
"Jesus you guys." I breathe out and gather all of the pictures carefully. "These are amazing."

  
Tom nods to Jensen's package. "Open the rest man."

  
The first picture Jensen has is from the set we did on that heart shaped bed thing. I remember because I cut myself shaving that morning and now I see it in the picture. It's a simple photograph of Jensen's arm thrown around my shoulder, but the way we're looking at each other tells a story far from simple.

  
In the next photo, we're both wet and slick from the bath water and because we're surrounded by candles and darkness, our muscles are highlighted with a silver sheen. Jensen is behind me in the tub. His eyes are closed and his nose is buried in my neck. If I didn't know any better, it'd look like he was in the process of smelling me.

  
In the next picture we're dressed in football gear and we're standing with our helmets under our arms. Our expressions are neutral and our lips are in a straight line, but we're both looking at each other right in the eyes. The camera captures our profiles and I'm looking down and Jensen is looking up. Even in the picture I can tell that it was intense. 

  
Holy hell. The fourth photo shows us both covered in glitter and sweat. As soon as I see it, I start to blush and I know Jensen's doing the same. We're both pressed together and our eyes are squeezed shut. Our mouths are hanging open slightly, probably gasping for breath. Tom must've taken this right after we came.

  
The next shot is from the leather shoot and it's the same one Tom gave to us because he couldn't send it into the magazine. Jensen is kissing me lightly on the cheek and my eyes are closed, but his are open and hooded as he looks at me.

  
The last photo is of us in those ugly old sweaters and I have my bottom lip caught piercingly tight between my teeth. Jensen's eyes are wide open as he bites up my jaw. His eyes are huge and even though the photos are in black and white, I can tell that he's trying to be sure that he's making me feel good. Like I'm the most important person in his world.

  
"God you guys..." I swallow thickly as I stare at mine and Jensen's relationship from the beginning to now.

  
"Oh shit! Be right back." Tom says suddenly and disappears inside. Jensen and I just continue to stare at all the photos spread around us. "Here." He comes back outside and hands me one more framed picture. "I had to do it quickly in the darkroom after we dropped all the lights off today."

  
Jensen laughs. "We were wondering what was taking you so long. It seemed like we were waiting in the car forever."

  
My dick jumps at this photo. Jensen and I are kissing passionately in the rain, our eyes are closed, and our mouths are very open. It's like we were trying to press every feeling into that kiss, every emotion that we felt for each other through our lips.

  
"Damn." Missy says softly. "You guys are so hot."

  
Jensen and I break into a laugh and thank them again. I don't know about Jensen, but this is probably the best present I've ever gotten. And it's because of him.

  
***

  
With our stomachs full and satisfied, we walk home slowly hand in hand. It's funny that we're not in a rush, but at the same time it's good to feel a certain amount of peace. Tonight will be the start of something that will last a life time, I'm sure of it. The framed photos are tucked securely in my messenger bag and they're heavy as hell, but I can't wait to get home so we can look at them all over again.

  
"Still can't believe Tom proposed and they're getting married." Jensen says as we finally climb the stairs to his apartment. "That's so fucking awesome."

  
"I know. Ohmygod! Maybe I'll get to be a bridesmaid!" I laugh and make my hand limp as I walk daintily through the lobby doors, making a total dork out of myself. It's worth it because Jensen cracks up as he holds the door open for me.

  
He smacks my ass and I turn to glare, but stick my backside out even further so he'll do it again. "Treat me so rough, tsk tsk. Should be treatin’ me like a proper lady." I tease in my girly voice.

  
"Oh god." Jensen moans. "You'd be the worst looking girl, like, ever."

  
"What! Would not." I pout.

  
"Would too."

  
"Not."

  
"Too."

  
We're still arguing when he unlocks the door. Suddenly he stops short and looks up like he just remembered something really important like leaving the oven on or forgetting to turn off the water.

  
"Jen? What is it?"

  
He walks over to this little glass bowl next to the front door where he keeps random stuff like loose change and buttons that fall off his shirts. His ring clinks against the glass as he searches for something and a few seconds later he holds up a key. "I forgot that I had this made when I went on vacation and the neighbors had to get my mail for me." He says, somewhat excited but trying to hold it in. "So now it's yours."

  
I don't say anything because I can't find the right words. Instead, I press my hand to his heart and kiss him gently. The inside of his chest is almost thumping wildly as his heart beats incredibly fast. It takes a minute for him to calm down as our lips linger together and I'm about to suggest we take this into the bedroom, but Jensen pulls away abruptly.

  
"Dude. I got an idea."

  
Frowning and trying to catch my breath at the same time, I still try to follow his lips even as he pulls away. "You have an idea? Right now? If it doesn't involve lube, I don't really care."

  
Jensen rolls his eyes and tells me to get the photos out of my bag. He goes into the kitchen and I can hear drawers opening and closing. Great. He's looking for something again. I put the key that he gave me in my pocket and press it tight in my hand before I let it go. The photographs are lifted carefully from my bag and I lay them side by side on the living room floor.

  
"Let's hang 'em up." Jensen says as he walks up behind me, peering over my shoulder.

  
Surprised, I turn around and raise my eyebrows at the nails and hammer he has in his hands. "Really?"

  
"Yeah. And I got the perfect place." He says and begins to take down the pictures of mountains and sunsets that he has hanging on the wall right by the front door. It's the first thing that I see every time I walk into his apartment and now I'm really surprised that he wants to put our personal as hell photos up for anyone to see.

  
"You sure about that, Jen? I mean… anyone who comes to the door will be able to see them."

  
"That's kinda the point."

  
I don't really say anything and watch him start to line up a nail to the wall.

  
He hesitates and drops his hand. "Look… it's just. I'm proud of these photos. I'm proud of us. I want the world to see us how we really are. No hiding, just us, together."

  
And how can I possibly argue with that? I can envision my mom walking in our apartment for the first time and nearly fainting, but the photos are really awesome and "tasteful" as Jensen's mom had put it. Our apartment. I so like the sound of that.

  
Twenty minutes later and a few more holes in Jensen's… no- our walls, and I'm standing behind him with my arms wrapped around his waist as we look at all the black and white pictures that tell our story. I press my nose into the shell of his ear and lick a taste of his skin.

  
"We didn't put up the last one. The one where we're kissing." I point out softly, tightening my arms around him.

  
He leans back into my chest and turns his head a little. "I think we should save that one for the bedroom."

  
I smile. "Good idea."

  
We stand in silence and let our eyes trace each photo a few times before I sigh and whisper in Jensen's ear that I love him. I love him so much.

  
He closes his eyes and doesn't hesitate. "Love you too, Jay. You have no idea how much."

  
I grab his hand and the photo of us making out in the rain, and start to lead him to the bedroom. "Come on. Want to show you how much I'm in love with you."

  
As Jensen starts to undress, I put the picture of us down on the nightstand. I toss the lube to the bed and start to strip as well, pulling off my shirt and pushing down my jeans and briefs in one motion.

  
The room instantly becomes hot as Jensen crawls on the bed with his ass in the air. He wiggles and shakes it, knowing full well what he's doing to me and I call him a damn tease.

  
"What's wrong, baby?" He asks, bending his knees and spreading his legs, looking at me over his shoulder with seductive eyes. "You want this? Take it then."

  
Even with the playful banter between us, my fingers still shake as I grab the lube. I wish there was time for foreplay, but I'm pretty sure all day was plenty of teasing for the both of us. It's time to get down to it and I'm done waiting. I want him so bad that it physically hurts. Everything fades away as I slip a slick finger inside of him. My thoughts are completely gone as he starts to moan and push back. He's still on his hands and knees with his hard dick starting to leak on the sheets, balls already tightening, and I can't understand how I'm able to control myself right now.

  
"Feels so damn good, fuck I am, oh god I am such a bottom. Always want bottom, yeah, bottom." Jensen's mumbling but I really can't concentrate on anything but his asshole stretched out over my two fingers now.

  
I pull out and bend to jab my tongue inside of him, just purely for a teasing taste. Jensen lets out a loud groan and I can feel his whole body shake. It makes me keep going and I flick the delicate skin, tonguing it in one last wet open mouthed kiss.

  
"Don't stop." Jensen pleads, but I smooth my hand over his ass and push him down. I swing one of his legs up and thumb at his ass, dipping and curling in as I lube up my cock with my other hand.

  
He arches off the bed and twists his shoulders to look at me. I hold myself up so I can capture his mouth with mine as I begin to guide the tip of my cock inside of him.

  
"This okay? Tell me if it hurts."

  
Jensen shakes his head with urgency. "Please just kiss me."

  
And so I do. Long and hard, distracting him as I slowly push all the way in and then pull a little out and then back in again, inch by inch until I can feel him relax around me. How I'm still even conscious as I start to fuck him, I have no idea.

  
He breaks the kiss and says in one long breath that he loves me, trusts me, wants me so fucking much. I take that as the hint to start a steady pace and I begin to thrust. I hold still inside of his tightness and kiss him again, pulling out as our tongues play. I shift when I slide back into him and he moans so deeply that he jerks away from my mouth, resting his head in the pillows as he starts to pant and whimper.

  
"God Jensen. You have no idea how hot this is. How hot you are." I tell him and sit back on my knees, my long dick still pointing into him and connecting us in such an intimate way. My eyes are glued to the sight of my cock disappearing inside of him, his plump ass surrounding me with heat and suddenly I know I'm gonna cum within the matter of a minute.

  
"Jensen…" My voice is shattered and comes out in a soft cry. "Oh Jensen. I'm gonna cum. Can I cum inside of you, baby?"

  
"Uh huh."

  
"Gonna cum inside of you."

  
"Yeah Jared, cum inside me, baby."

  
My world goes into a hazy dream state and my whole body pulses when I cum hard, so hard that muscles I didn't know I even had start to hurt under my skin as they contract from pleasure. Jensen's back looks so tan, so beautiful and strong because of the sweat glistening over his skin and I scrape my teeth down his shoulder blade for a taste. He's breathing really hard and I move my hand under his hips, feeling around for his cock. He lifts up, letting me cop a feel and I'm satisfied when my fingers dip in a large wet spot.

  
"God." Jensen grunts and his face is still pressed in the mattress. His voice is muffled and I can hardly hear him. "That was nice."

  
"Just nice huh?" I laugh and slide my spent dick out of him.

  
"Mmm very nice."

  
I settle down, but Jensen barely moves. His legs are still spread and I can't resist playing with his ass. Just a little, since he's probably sore. My fingers find his hole and trace the pink sphincter, spreading my cum that is leaking out slowly. It's not sexual, but it's a part of him that's connected with me now and I want to touch it. To feel it against my fingertips. To take care of it and caress the sweet opening that lets me inside.

  
"That feels good." Jensen sighs contently, leaving his legs open and moving only to give me a light kiss. "I love you."

  
"Love you more." I whisper and nuzzle closer, my finger continuing to move in small circles, rubbing the mixture of cum and lube into his skin.

  
"Impossible."

  
"So possible."

  
He smiles and glances over my shoulder to the framed photo on the nightstand. "I love that picture too, love all of 'em. Loved you the first time I saw you. Love the way we met." He says softly and I know he'll be asleep soon.

  
"Yeah." I yawn and close my eyes, pulling Jensen's body to my chest and he snuggles right up to me. "Can't believe I'm so lucky… I got you by just smiling for the camera."

-End-

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